Enough of the Lovecraftian horror that awaits us all in the end. though you may want to use "fit to width" in your browser for a little while till that little entry scrolls off becuase i'm too lazy to actually make it fit to where it dosen't break my page. I know, I'm an asshole.
Fallout 3. Finished the good guy scenario. soon it will be time to replay, this time Killing every fucking thing in my path. fuck yeah.
Slumdog Millionaire. Watch it if you haven't already.
A recurring role within my circle is to Play the part of the dissenting voice in just about everything, because I tend to be a jackass. I also like to think that i'm playing a pivotal role, kinda like how someone should have said "hey, this might be a bad idea..." when the Nazi's thought up the cunning plan to commit Genocide. I'm the dissenting Nazi. Except I love black people or jews or whatever LOOK i just play Germany in Axis and Allies, okay? it dosen't MEAN anything!
Thius differs from my other role, where I play the part of a Weirdo(which i do very fucking well, thank you) My priimary role here is like thus: I introduce something completely illogical, attempting to entrap you(the friend) into a Weapons-Grade Retarded conversation. I logically argue the illogical and imaginative. much more fun to me than postulating actual scientific theories.
Anyway. So, as the wet blanket, I take my role very seriously. i tend to take it to an extreme with T-man, disagreeing with Anything he says. he says the sky is blue, i'll argue that it's fucking green becuase of global warming or something equally retarded. even if it's something i previously agreed with the very sentance before and he agrees with it, I will immediately reverse my stance, just to ensure that i disagree with him. It tends to provoke an equally hilarious(to me) reaction from him. In effect, i'm an asshole of a friend.
I do this for a reason.
Once in a while, I will agree with him, just to fuck up the program and to show that I'm not a total curmudgeon.
The last time i did this was with Kings of Leon. I kept downplaying them and basically saying that thier music is retarded, which nearly got my nose broke a few times by a beer mug(I may also be embellishing, you can never tell with tricksy 'lil me).
Then one day, out of the apparent blue, i texted Tman with "Okay, so that one KOL song IS kinda cool."
Only I never got a response. I laid myself out there, sharing a private moment with him digitally, only to not get my own sort of release(good god that sounds horrible).
This will not do.
I MUST provoke a response.
So. I will say it again. FOR ALL THE FUCKING WORLD TO SEE. JUST FOR YOU.
Kings of Leon has a good Song. maybe two.
Also, Dream Theater.
And maybe The START.
And Nelly, too.
And some Band that Timbo likes, too. So you don't feel left out.
Resident Evil 5 sucks. I know I'm a lone dissenter in a sea of "Awesome!", but you fucked up, son. You apparently need to take a class on how to do split-screen co-op properly . There's a game, it's called GoldenEye. They had FOUR FUCKING SCREENS and used every goddamned last bit of TV Real estate that was available. The graphics scaled down so shit ran smoothly(at least, I think it did, but I'm not a fucking engineer) on ALL FOUR SCREENS. AT ONCE. seriously. what purpose does it serve to have two screens that don't even take up the entire goddamned TV? Hardware limitations? Programming lazniness? Artistic presentation? Well, guess what? YOU FUCKED UP. Also, the controls suck. I can't really bitch about it for myself, but hey, I'll kick a dog while it's down. I'm not above it.
And you know what else? Why does Chris "Popeye" Redfield have such huge fucking forearms? Has he been jacking off elephants on an assembly line between games, or what? somebody PLEASE explain this to me.
In closing, Send 60 bucks to Brandocrap for making a terrible co-op mode. And send me a PS3 so I won't keep bitching about your terrible game. Make sure it's the version that's backwards-compatible too, assholes.
Regards,
Livingdead.
P.S. Family Video(s) in springfield, IL, you should really try to carry more than two copies of a popular title. Dicks.
I want to show you another game called Pandemic 2. I played the original before. This one allows you to evolve your own virus and destroy the world without all those pesky Crimes against Humanity charges. The Realistic mode, however, is a bitch.
I really only wanted to update becuase I want you to understand why this comic is fucking hilarious. You will once you play the game.
My Internet Lawyer, decided to take a more progressive stance. I would suggest those of you that play do the same(lol, jail). becuase apparently Madagascar(and maybe Indonesia, when they're on the fucking ball) is the only hope if the world ever gets a case of the Captain Tripps.
Alternate title: I was a Homosexual Afgani Muslim who died at 57 of a heart attack.
I like quirk. quirk gets me all hot in the pants. I like quirk in my games, because for a long time i didn't have a good 'puter and basically had to play games in the internets that i found that would run on my AMD k2 350mhz processor with win2000 and 256 megs RAM.
I think i just like saying the word 'quirk'. quirk quirk quirk quirk.
After frankenputer got a major case of the upgrayedd(a Y and two D's for an extra dose of the pimpin), I never really stopped looking for quirky games. it was sort of like an addiction, like quilting or meth. I'm like the hipster equivalent of video games, except i'm not a spoiled douchebag with a shitty haircut and cliquish, snobby attitude who thinks it's DIY to buy stupid T shirts at inflated prices. I'm just an poor asshole who was too cheap to pay for games.
anyway, irrational hatred towards a social demographic aside, I found one not too long ago called Real lives. Basically, the game births you into a 1 in 6 billion-ish chance of a live somewhere in the world. You click a button, age a year, things happen to you as you grow. you can make choices on what you do that affects your "life score", which is just a bunch of numbers that i haven't figured out what else it does except show my how virtually ugly, immoral, or stupid I am. Things are left to a chance of sorts, depending on where you are born. It also presents facts about the geographic region where you live. You can make all kinds of choices on how you invest your money, study, participation in human rights, and moral choices that could end you into the slammer.
I know there's some teachers out there who might find this interesting for thier class, as it is an easy way to introduce world issues into the class. you might want to play around with it first though before unleashing it onto the class, as it has a LOT of issues that could land you in hot water. as an example, my Afgani was raped at 12. Another life i lived in East coast america alloed me to die peacefully at the age of 36 from Drug overdose, having never worked a day in my life and living with my parents. Yet another allowed me to knock up my girlfriend, leave her, knock up another one, leave her, and so on and so forth till I had like, 15 virtual little bastards by 12 different women. If only real life would allow you to uncheck certain issues.
I would say check it out if you're a Geo buff, Like reading Factbooks, or want a point-and- click virtual dramafest of "Oh what will happen next?" It's a bit dry on presentation, so I hope you like spreadsheets and staring at the country where you live.
Now, for some of you more "I need some action, and need to kill lots of stuff" types, maybe you should scope this out. Controls can be a little hard to figure out, and i'd recommend playing the arcade version first to get yon bearings, but does it cream me jeans. I like how the game menu mimics old school console O/S'es, but that's the dork in me, yearning for the days of yore. I'll stop, sorry.
Wiki basically has it spot on calling it a robotron clone. Robotron meets Zombie death must KILL AND STAY ALIVE FOR 25 ROUNDS GODDAMNIT MY HAND FUCKING HURTS OH GOD THEY'RE ON ME THEY'RE ON ME FUCK FUCK FUCK *Schelllerrrrrrk.....plop.*
Hey look, I did an update without whoring youtube links or writing shitty poetry. Hooray!
I'm going to do a little something different this year.
I'd like to leave 2008 behind me, for the most part. but this i'd like to leave for you. it's the final part of a quest chain in WoW, and one of the best, in my opinion.
A'dal: *A gentle ringing fills your head as you approach the naaru*
I know why you have come.
I am pleased that you have come to me. I know of Crusader Bridenbrad, and of your travels in hope of saving him. Bridenbrad's valor has sparked remarkable selflessness in you, and this is a miracle unto itself. The light will take care of its own. I will extend my blessing to Bridenbrad and he shall not endure the corruption of undeath. I shall return you to Dalaran, and you shall return to him. Know that I remain with you.
*As you approach Crusader Bridenbrad, you cannot help but notice that his skin has taken on a pale hue and his breaths are shallow. It is clear that he has little time left.*
Bridenbrad: You have returned to me, Warrior. I must admit... it is good to see you again... your face renews my hope that this land will be free of Arthas's grasp one day soon. I'm proud to have met you...
*Bridenbrad's words trail off, a dim smile on his face. As life seems to slip from him, a gentle ringing fills your ears.*
* A'dal, along with K'uri and M'ori appears and liberates the Spirit of Bridenbrad, so that he will not be raised as a mindless servant of the Scourge. *
A'dal: Fear not, young one, for this crusader shall not taste death. In life, Bridenbrad was the bearer of great deeds. Now, in passing, he shall taste the only paradise.
War wages on, Pollution is rampant, divorce is at an all time-high. Criminals walk the street freely, and somewhere, animals are dying in a shelter.
only one person can help us now.
Bomberman.
You see, a Bomberman's love is very different from that of a square. Bomberman, for those of you who have been indocrinated to the sacreligious, profane, and false ideals of other multiplayer games, is a game which, if you have any hope for a better life, you will play, understand, and master. I can't really tell you the aim of the single player, as i never have played it and, quite honestly, i don't believe there is such thing as a single player bomberman game. it's all a lie. anyway, so i'm going to make up my own story.
YOU are one of the bombermen, which is essentially Death Incarnate couched within sprite graphics. your objective is to bomb the living shit out of everything and everyone within your 13x11 playing field and hope to god you are the last person left alive. You will collect powerups that will increase your ability to shit out more and moar bombs, powerups that will increase the length of your flamedicks(this is a technical term, read the manual) to stretch nearly across the entire board, and herpes, which you sometimes want, and sometimes don't.
Alliances are made and broken faster than Vegas chapel vows in The game. mild-mannered churchwomen will curse in demonic tongues. New swear words will be invented and forgotten in the babbling litany that comes after losing a match. Marriages will be saved, then ruined, friendships broken and reestablished within three minutes of gameplay. If Bomberman was around in the World war II era, it either would have saved millions of lives or we would be living in cinderous, toxic remains of a nuclear exchange. Japan's modern day Samurai exist today as Bombermen bioengineered in the cold, robotic womb of a femme console system, stored away within the time infinite, waiting for the day these New World-Jesuses shall be needed to horse-fuck the human race into oblivion to purge our planet once and for all of the disease we have come to be as simplistic, celebrity-worshipping, whoremongering luddities of filth, luchre, and Materia, forcing the righteous dead to return from on high, enwrapped within flaming wings to do epic battles with our cutesy-visored savior-murderers in futile effort for our collective souls.
chillin with the D-O-double-G and Gee Oh Dee,
drinking V.S.O.P.
on the LBC
Boyz II Men
ABC
BBD
the East coast family!
plagurizing two different genres of early 90's music will not get me into The Source anytime soon.
I've been off work for an hour and a half and i'm well on my way to getting trashed. I'm working crazy hours this week and bringing in mad duckets, Yo. WTF ever happened to that arcade place? anyway, so while the manager is away, i'm on dayshift. this should be easy, right? well. sort of. first off, there's a giant burning ball in the sky that instantly gets me grumbling on my way to work. today wasn't so bad, as it was overcast. i was still grumbling, as i had closed the night before and didn't get out till 1am. this isn't always a problem, but I had to be there to open at 7:45, which turns getting out late into a litnany of 'fucks' from yours truly.
today I had probbaly four main things to accomplish without burning the store down accidentally or otherwise. things that once you sit down and get to it(or if you've done it a jajillion times before), should only take you about an hour. it took me seven. everytime i would get started and timidly step into the exciting world of entering product into inventory into our venerable database, I would get a customer. one would lead to two, and two into four, and pretty soon you have fucking tribbles and gremlins all over the goddamn place. every time I would finish one P.O, i'd get another delivery, and each company doesn't exactly have carbon-copy invoices. forms. sheets that stuff is on. whatever.
so back to hunt and pecking in what we got from whomever, doing everything i can to keep from entering in 5000 cases of grenadine @ 2999.99 cost. Then the customers come back in, and once again, I have fucking tribbles and gremlins.
so yeah. I will say that i needed the break from my regulars. last night i had another run in with No id girl and i wanted to chokefuck her with a broken everclear bottle because i'm a really horrible person and wish such things on people sometimes.
I would fully support a law that would allow anyone in retail the ability to shoot someone in the crotch once a day with a taser with no reprucussions. people would be a hell of a lot nicer if there was the chance that the person behind the counter hadn't used thier daily freebie. but since i live in the land of pussies and we just passed a law that bans indoor smoking in public places(except casinos, of course. they make money for the state and a majority of patrons there smoke, so they're cool. which is fucking horseshit), i don't see that ever becoming a reality. don't bother commenting, emailing, or flaming me about my stance on the smoking issue. you're not going to chance my mind, and I'll just think you're an even bigger pussy. you win. I get it. I can't actively kill you anymore. I'll get over it or I'll find another way.
I like Edgy Eft, but I am ready to take a ride on the Fiesty Fawn. anyone got an opinon on it yet?
Anyway, So most of you got to meet Sparky at Bradley's Wedding(which was awesome, by the way), and i apologize for not getting face time with everyone and doing formal introductions. she's Shy and I have a track record about as good as my updating routine of late about doing the introduction thing. I don't think she's going anywhere, so you'll get your chance, I am sure.
Fuck. I just ruined a brand new tie in the wash. god damn it.
goddamn this hacker pschorr is fucking awesome.
i really want to write more, but now that i am rather soundly sloshed, i'm going to go get on WoW and spam "WTB 2 man suicide Molten Core run" on the channels. or get on as my hot blood elf and promise virtual sex for gold. wait. that's second life. or something like that. Maybe i'll kill more people In GTA liberty city stories. I don't care. I'm drunk enough to where i'm ready to fright someone, rip thier nuts off, eat them raw, then shit them down said person's throat. All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. I told u I was hardcore.
And there you have it. Yet another xoxxed.com, The art of Self-Destruction, Livingdead's Blog, what the fuck ever you call it, update. Made in Fucking Southern Illinois. Fucking made in Southern Illinois. Made in Southern Fucking Illinois. Made in Southern Illinois fucking.
Work is work.
I nearly renounced my Atheism on account of a customer who just wouldn't leave.
I really have to try to like people sometimes.
Love life sucks, still and seemingly forever.
My Walls have been rebuilt.
Spent 5000 fake dollars gambling in my fake life.
I lost 20 bucks of my very real money.
That was a bad idea.
I wanted to do an April Fool's Update.
I didn't have time.
Next Year, flag semaphore.
Maybe.
Brandocrap would shove Jesus for A chance with Kari Byron.
I would murder all of you if I had the same chance.
Or even for a passable look-a-like.
I'm Morally Questionable.
I don't mind that so much anymore.
My Throskie is only a 63 :( and wears outdated gear. Year Zero is absoludicriously fucking awesome.
You knew I would say that.
Alanis Morissete does My Humps.
you've probably Seen it.
Tori Amos does Raining Blood.
You should hear the Classic first.
I'm a future 419 Scam victim.
I could go on and on.
Getting the fuck outta here on a one day trip.
All work and no play something something something.
Here, I Haven't done one of these in nearly forever. Enjoy.
Read/Watch/Listen/Play:
Promise of the Witch-King; R.A. Salvatore. 300; Gerard Butler, Rodrigo Santoro, Vincent Regan. Collected; Massive Attack. God of War 2; Sony Computer Entertainment of America.
Nearly three weeks without an update. and now one that maybe three of you will give a damn about.
It's The Feast of Winter Veil in Azeroth, and I'll be damned if I haven't been trying to earn a [High Warlord's Pig Sticker] for my toon just in time for Xmas. Before the latest content patch, this was going to be nigh impossible, as it cost a pretty penny, and required you to earn the PvP rank of high warlord on your specific server. I tended to rank usually in the top 100(out of aprox. 4600 horde players) depending on how much I decided to PvP. Basically, to get High warlord status, I was going to have to win Every Battleground I entered, and slaughter the entire Alliance population four times over, and hope no one else did the same thing.
Now with the content patch, it's actually easier to get said weapon, as you only need a certain amount of honor points. Unfortunately, honor points are no longer given out like condoms at college. In the old days, winning a Alterac Valley Battleground would get you somewhere around 3000 honor points, plus whatever points you got for killing Alliance. now you get maybe 200-300 per win, plus whatever you get for killing(if you're lucky, you might ill a grand marshal and get 8 honor points, but usually you get a peon that's only worth 1 or 2 points). But The Honor system isn't really what I want to complain about. Nevermind the fact that I ran AV till I was sick of it, and then ran it some more to get exhalted status with Frostwolf Clan which now means two things in WoW: jack and shit, I'm cool with that. I can deal.
My Beef is with whatever jackass who decided to put Hardpacked Snowballs in the AV Battleground. Jesus H. Christ, This was a horrible idea. Hardpacked snowballs are an item that when thrown, can knock a player around. The idea was that a player can punish another team member who is sitting around with a thumb up thier ass, not participating in battle and just leeching honor points. The road to Hell Is paved with good intentions.
Let me try to explain for those of you who don't play.
In AV, one of the most stratgetic points of the game is Stormpike Graveyard, which is a respawn point initally for the Alliance. in order for Horde to win, horde has to take Stormpike in order to have a respawn point closeby to assault Dun Baldar. As you can see by looking at the map, There are two roads near Stormpike, A low road and a high road. The low road, though it leads directly to Stormpike, is a chokepoint, usually clogged with Alliance killing any Horde stupid enough to go that route.
This leaves the relatively undefended high road as the Logical choice. Once you get to the bend in the high road, can split off and hide behind the mountain or at Irondeep Mine, group up and charge into the Graveyard(hopefully taking it). The Bend in the road also offers a good recon Point to scope out how many are defending the Graveyard. Or if you're ballsy enough, you can drop down right into Stormpike and charge in, most likely resulting in getting pack-raped if no one else goes with you.
The problem, is that there are Horde members who are absolute fucktards. These Special Ed rejects camp out on the high road and pelt passing team members with hardpacked snowballs, which sends them flying down into Stormpike GY. Now, not only is the snowballed person not where they were going to set up for the group attack, but they have now taken on Falling damage and lost about half thier health. they are now about a half-second away from the aforemented alliance pack-rape.
All because some cocksucking horsefucker thinks team-killing is funny.
These are most likely the same dipshits that would lob a grenade into thier own team in Counter-strike. I'd be less incensed about this if the Alliance had a similar problem at Frostwolf Graveyard, but Frostwolf lays on relatively flat land, so there's not really an alliance equivalant to this particular form of griefing.
Well, I've dorked out enough. I just had to vent about this.
HEAD: APPLY DIRECTLY TO WALL.
HEAD: APPLY DIRECTLY TO WALL.
HEAD: APPLY DIRECTLY TO WALL.
I'm supposed to Love fridays, I end up usually hating them the most. And now i'm going to be getting up even earlier next week. Class, Did I ever give you the impression that I was a morning person? Also, a whole bunch of other things that i'm not going to bore you with for now, becuase all i want to do is get the fuck out of here, go pick up my check(this is the third fucking week in a row i have to make a special trip to another store to pick up payroll and then back to this store so everyone else can get paid. Why? Because the other store is easier for the person who delivers my checks to drop them off at. Did I mention my gas bill last month? Thanks a lot, jackasses. yeah, all of you.
I'm thinking either i'm going on another blackout drinking binge tonight, or I'm going to be Spending a lot of time in Warsong Gulch swinging [Corpsemaker] into a lot of alliance faces this weekend.
Somebody has to pay for my frustration(social and sexual, as it were), and what better way than to take it out on some unsuspecting night elves?
One of my most dog-eared chapters in my copy of DP is the chapter on North Korea. To me, it's the most interesting read in the entire book, due to the vast amount of bullshit that one has to swallow in order to sustain some form of existance(Things such as the "Leader" being the main force behind Toasters, cheeseburgers, and the Sun rising and setting each day. Ok then.) in this literal prison-state. The words used to paint the DPRK are so bleak you almost can't believe it's real. Looking here and here, I kept thinking of another photo shoot I've seen: The Zone of Alienation. Talk about dream vacations for me. I have a thing for being in places that I'm not supposed to be, and I blame that on my natural curiosity that compels me to check out roads marked "Road closed" and "Dead End" when I have the time to.
On a happier note, Justin Sane sent me a link that I think is awesome. Customer Service + MMORPG'S + Morons for customers* Hilarity = Bannable offenses. check it out.
I wanted to talk a little bit about my new-found love for DosBox(now that I figured out how the hell to use it), Moxie, and other things, but I'll save that for another time.
The Main event(other than going through let another letdown) was getting my old copy of Full Throttle running on my current PC. One would think that a 10+ year old game would be a cinch to run, but it's not. But thanks to ScummVM and my packrat abilities, I got to enjoy one of the last great click and point adventures of the 90's again. I do miss playing my old games. Such "winners" like Critical Path, Iron Helix, and Rise of The Triad I have held onto over the years in the idea that I will at some point take one of my old computers and rig it with an older OS so as to play said games. If I could find a virtual machine for these games, I would probably forget all about how Half life 2 likes to fuck up on me every two months and not get tempted to buy World of Warcraft. Guess I'll just have to stick toBraminar and NetHack for now. Nothing wrong with the classics, mind you.
The Trent Reznor and Peter Murphy duet on "Head Like a Hole" is fucking awesome.
I did get a nice perkup in the mail today, thanks to SquirrelGirl for the Autograph of The Great One. I literally fipped out at the parking lot at work when I saw what it was. You wouldn't happen to like wine, would you?
Other than that, I'm off till friday and well, life is awesome!
Oh come on, you don't really believe I really meant that last part After this weekend, do you?
That big change I was talking about last week? Still working on it. In addition to something else popping up and having been taken care of, I've been trying to wage a small-scale war against spambots who are commenting on old articles. It was sort of fixed with the new base code, but instead of making huge comments like they were, now they're just dropping a name, email, and website, since the text gets filter blocked.
The solution is using a random number image generator(i.e. Like what Sarah has on her commentbox). This also has it's own drawbacks.
One, I have to migrate all my linkage and other errata over into the new theme and make it look right(not that hard, just time-consuming). I have new Guilty parties to add, and i'm still working on the photo archive.
The second problem is that anyone who is visually impaired won't be able to make comments. I don't really wish to discriminate, but I don't think I have any blind readers.
Lastly, anyone using a text-only Browser is going to be in the same boat as the second problem. I'm going to take a WAG and say about maybe one percent of one percent of my dear readers have ever used Lynx(or currently use an old version of Mobile Browser) before, so I assume this won't be much of a bitching point.
Anyway, enough for now. I gotta work in the morning. I need sleep, and the only reason i'm still up was because Gma was yelling for me. more this week as i remember the various topics i was going to talk about.
Awwwww fuckjizzles, 'tis friday and I'm all ready to do... something.
If there is one game I figured I would have been tired of by now, it's God of War. I re-rented it earlier this week, and goddamn I can't get enough of it. There's something therapeutic about kicking right into a game where the goal is absolution, revenge, and killing every motherfucker that stands in your path that just rings true to me. After a long week of dealing with the public, it satisfies in a way that no Snickers bar ever could.
Also, I found a 40 gig Hard drive just hanging around, and slapped it into Compy 2.0. Now I have space to spare for my music. Beforehand, I had about 7 megs left on a 15 gig drive, so I couldn't rip any of my new CD's and keep it all centrally located. I'm happy not to have my music in one place instead of scattered across an array of three drives. So now, I have a 15 gig drive free that I'm thinkin of either slapping into the original Compy and installing Slackware onto, or somehow converting it into an mp3 server. and wiring it to the stereo. Why? Becuase I'm fucking hardcore nerd, yo.
Also, I'm becoming an effective Zombie-killing Machine on Urban Dead and I Love it. So now you have more reasons why I haven't done that thing i've been talking about with the pictures and the sidebar box. can you say 'procrastinator'? Also, can you say shitty sentance structure?
Now I am going to go find something to do that is most likely nonproductive.
Today, The Illinois House of Representatives voted unanimously to condemn Livingdead because he has a foul mouth, and forthwith, is a bad person based on the fact that he eats babies and kicks little old ladies into busy freeways. Also, he's a doodyhead and has an ugly face. We can't outright ban him without a legal headache, but our offical opinion for the good of the republic is this: Don't listen to him. Don't read him. Don't Acknowledge his existence. Thank you, God bless america, and freedom costs a buck o'five...
"Well, that was pretty damn stupid." You say? I'd Agree if it wasn't for the fact that The Pennsylvania House of Representives did just that with a game called "25 to Life" last week. The PA HoR took the time, effort, and most importantly, taxpayer money, to condemn this game and express support for National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund and it's plan to collect a bunch of signatures online in efforts to boycott this game.
Your tax dollars at work.
Here's why I'm a bit livid about the whole matter. It's all an elaborate "feel good" issue, with a bit of a "For the children!!!!!" aftertase that solves absolutely nothing. Proclaiming that you're against a game that allows you to shoot cops, and then patting yourself on the back about it with a resolution makes as much sense as taking a firm stance against smashing kittens in the face with shovels.
Look, let me give you a legitimate reason to boycott this game where the roots aren't tied to the premise of censorship: "25 to Life" sucks worse than a teenaged meth whore trying to come up with the last ten bucks to buy a foilie.
Repetitive gameplay that's been done better by other games, a hackneyed plot, and subpar graphics bolstered up by a "hey look! We're GTA EXTREEEEEEEEMMMMME" ad campaign. The only people who ended up buying this game upon release is the fucktards who bought EVERY Mature-rated game becuase it either dropped a new curse word, had some new way of spilling blood and gore, or showed promise of a lot of sexual innuendo(I dealt with a lot of this type back in my EB days).
The only other fucktards that would buy this game is the moron parents who just want to shut the fuck trophy up becuase they've howled incessantly about the game, and don't pay attention to what they're purchasing("Ma'am, are you sure you want to buy 'Murder Fuckfeast 6' for your 10 year old? it's Really not for chil-" "Shut up and give me the goddamn game! it's for Christmas! Christ I need a Prozac!"). Then, They go all moral outrage once they get home and see that little Johnny isn't playing Pokemon, but instead severing heads off of zombies and having digital sex with them(I dealt with a couple of these, as well).
Anyway, my point is that time could have been better wasted on a dozen other things other than passing laws that express an opinion. If this is SOP, Then Where do I sign up to introduce a bill comdemning the Song "My Humps"? Because I really hate that fucking song and want my opinion, as well as the leglislative body's opinions about this abortion of a song, enshrined into law.
The game is it's own worst enemy. Stop giving it press by calling it 'controversial' and see how quick it will die away. Anyone remember "Sword of the Berserk"? "Kingpin"? "Panty Raider"? Anyone? Bueller?
Don't even get me started on online petitions and thier usefulness.
I remember saying that I was done with the S in an earlier post, and I think I really, really mean it this time. I had a good time friday night, but the juke still sucks(Seriously, WTF happend to the Tune Search?), and while I met a very cool person from Indiana that night(hi Jess if you're reading this, sorry about that night), it just dosen't feel like home anymore.
The only reason I even got out on St. Livingdead's Zombieabercrombiepocalypse now Day(the real name of St. patricks day and YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE FOOL) was because Hooter and her friend dragged me out to play some darts. They left after about an hour, and since I had to wait a while before getting back on Urban Dead(A game I like so much I have to plug twice) and there's only so much of Subspace I can take before I realise that I'm rotting away my friday night playing a ten year old online game. Not that I had much to do anyway, but regardless.
Saturday was an early wake up call for me thanks to Brandocrap, then right into my Meleemancer for some Nightmare Diablo 2. Mass dorkage ensued, then to Walt's for a lil gathering of Friends, moving back to the Slowbeks for cake and a game of dominoes. Thanks to Slowbek, I got to go all "high class an shit" with the lambrusco in a knockoff SOLO cup. rawk. Makes for a wonderful wine headache the next day, let me tell ya.
Well, time for a sad attempt at sleep so I can wake up for work. That's me being cheery.
Okay, enough of the creepy Dolph Lungren wannabe clones.
Generally, I don't like First person games on a console-based System. With the exception of a couple of games(Halo, Metroid Prime), when a FPS game is made or ported to a console system, i turn my nose up at it in disgust, having been bred, nursed, and sustained upon a steady diet of FPS games for the computer with the much more intuitive Mouse+keyboard Layout. a controller lags, and the analog sticks are a poor replacement for mouselook and a WASD setup.
Anyway, I've been playing a game called Black, and so far, it's been pretty interesting. Pretty nice story, decent graphics, decent control(for a console shooter) and the ability to blow shit up. My only qualm about it so far is that it's an EA games product, and I would rather eat shit-stained glass shards before I buy any of thier products becuase of thier business practices. Maybe i'm going into uber-dork land there, but buying exclusive rights to a sports franchise because Madden got the shit kicked out of it the year before by a 20 Dollar Game just kinda screams shady to me. It says "we can't make a better game, so we're going to shove the competition out of the picture because we're a bunch of pussies."
So sum it up, Black is worth taking a look at. And yes, that is the sound of Hell getting a bit chilly.
For those who didn't come for a video game review, Take a look at this. Maybe if the book was this exciting I would have read it. I gotta get ready and go to a wedding.
been killing a lot of time with some java games. hell i stopped writing this for half an hour becuase i was too bust playing War of the Hell. i orginally was going to talk about the Falling sand game(you can find the Orginal here), but i have found this weird ass site(i think it was on fark once or something) that has all thiese variations on falling sand and the aforemented "war of the hell")
yeah, sorry. started playing again. here's the link so some variations of the game. It's in some asian script, but the important stuff is in english. dick around with like and waste the rest of the evening, like i did.
okay, i really can't concentrate because i keep playing this stupid game. at least i'm off my Rumble Box Kick.
Been playing a lot of Neverwinter Nights Diamond of late(a hearty thank you goes to The Jones Boys for that one), that and work has been the reason for the lack of quality updates(and I use the word quality loosely here). so, apologies to my readers, all three of you.
Tomorrow is the big bash and the Slowbek’s. It is also the day of what is usually my most personal update of the year, of which is also part of the reason of the lack of updates, as I’ve been working on it this week.
But for today, we’ll be blind to that for now, and do a much more uplifting update, if not a bit bland.
I didn’t read many books that came out in 05, so we’re going to skip over that one.
Top 5 Watch of 05
1. Land of the Dead; Simon Baker, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper.
2. Sin City; Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba.
3. Hotel Rwanda; Don Cheadle, Nick Nolte, Joaquin Phoenix.
When I was but a wee Livingdead, I was one of the last kids to get a NES. Being poor, I had to settle for playing my Atari 2600. It wasn’t such a bad deal, Because all the other kids gave me thier "sucky" Atari games, Because Nintendo was so "awesome" and they were never going to play Atari games ever again, So I wasn’t completely deprived, as I had a new Atari game to play every so often. Suckers. Now, because you got rid of your Atari games, you have to buy them all over again!
Sorry, gloating. Let’s continue.
Anyways, I did finally get a NES when they came down to under 100 bucks. That version came with no game, no zapper, and only one controller(Odd how that would become the standard for consoles later on, yet the systems still were expensive as fuck. Gotta love technology). Then, on the way home from wherever we got it from, we stopped by Pooh’s, who was selling some of thier used NES games off.
After agonizing over which one I wanted, I settled upon Gauntlet. Having remembered playing once in an arcade and dropping a metric fuckton of quarters in it at Frank's Arcade and Auction House.
Fast forward about, oh, 13 years, and one supakickass remake later, I have just experienced my first taste of Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows. Back on the old blog, I went absolutely batshit about how this one would be online, which would make gathering four people together for a massive hack-n-slash dorkout a hell of a lot easier, Right?
Not Quite.
Now, I should be thankful that they even did decide to do such a thing as online play. But if you’re going to do something, it should be done right, or at least a hell of a lot better than the current incarnation that is Seven Sorrows Online. My two major beefs with the online play?
1. No private game feature. Getting out and meeting the other fellow players online is nice every so often, but if I want to game with just one or two of my buddies, it isn’t happening. Anyone can join in at anytime, which can quickly go from meeting a cool cat from Cali to having some fuckwad From bumfuck Utah screwing up everyone else’s game by sniping gold and health and holding up everyone else's progress by not moving with the rest of the party. That’s not even counting the issues you're going to have with...
2. Lag. fuck me running, I haven’t lagged This bad since i was playing Quake on a 14.4 modem on a server at UKY. I’m not one of those types that gets all pissy with an occasional hiccup in a network game, even if it does get me killed or screws up a combo I was pulling off. But come on! For a game that is broadband only, has very few games and players online(It’s only been out for a week), and is supposed to be designed for four-player online action with voice headsets, the amount of stutter during the game is simply unacceptable.
Otherwise, the game is great. Nice experience/ability system, no more potions to shoot, sweet graphics(although, theyare part of the lag problem and I would have traded graphics for better network performance), and of course, the tried and true Gauntlet experience that you all love.
I’d stick with multiplayer via multitap instead of online, though.
Enough bitching. I got a funeral to go to tomorrow, and bedtime is dangerously close.
I had a more serious update I was going to put up, but I’m going to sit on it for a while. Plus, I got into a mood, and decided to write this instead. Hooray for poor impulse control!
Today is one of those instances I wish I had a intimate Knowledge of the Japanese Language. You see, December is the Japanese release date for the newest installment of Front Mission. For the uninitated, Front Mission is a series of games centered around Tactical Mech Combat, A cross of Final Fantasy Tactics(of Which I suck horribly at, therefore hate) and Battletech(of which I love, unless you’re talking about the pen-and-paper Game, In which case, I absolutely hate it). Now, Normally, when you bring two elements of things you don’t care for together, you end up with something that makes you vomit upon contact with the cursed thing. In this case, however, it happens to come together in such a way that, I believe if was promoted right, could actually facilitate World Peace.
But there is a problem. I’ll get to this.
I’ve been a fan of the Front Mission Series Since FM 3. Great Game, IMHO. One of the best titles for the regular Playstation, Not too difficult to learn, but nothing you’re going to breeze through in the course of an evening, mostly becuase the Battles are a good 20 some-odd Minutes. Perhaps you have to be a Bit of a Tactical Dork to enjoy it(While I’m not a Fan of FFT, I do have a soft spot in my heart for Ogre Battle. And yes, I know they’re almost the same fucking game), with the different setups you can make you wanzers. That, and the feel of your Giant Walking Tank Kicking all kinds of ass just turns the proverbial crank in me.
My Only Problem? The goddamned Characters. I hate them. I have NO sympathy for them, and frequently, I wish the characters in the cut-scenes would STFU already. I cannot tell you how many times I put Ryogo’s (by far the character I hate the most) purple-hued machine blatantly in the path of the Strongest Enemy on the field and actively cheered on his death. he was annoying as hell, his dialogue is inane, and I hate His medium-length brown locks.
Sadly, I have the Same problem with FM 4. Namely with Chaeffer, Hermes, and the two stupid Venezuelan Rebels. Normally, one can forget about the storyline in most games and concentrate on the actual gameplay. However, FM 4 has Voice Acting, which is akin to putting Nair on your just-shorn-to-the-point-of-raw gentalia. Ugh. The gameplay is first-rate, though. you just have to drill out your ears and find something to do when you’re not in the middle of a battle.
Anyway... Front Mission 4: It’s 20 bucks(I bought it for $50 like a goddamned idiot last year, and you can make a safe bet I’ll do it again when FM 5 comes out in March for America), and if you have a pair of headphones and a mp3 player, you can rock out and mostly ignore the drivel that passes as conversation in the game.
....Petra Hayden and CherieLynn Westrich give me a horrible case of Boneritis.
Also, I suck at Risk, but that won’t hamper my plans to dominate/destroy the world, as I have Mad Chess skillz, yo.
Now, on the other hand.... if, say, a Hostile Alien race from Zasprodut came down and made me play a game of Hero’s Quest. and i had to make it through all 14 quests with one Character... We’re all fucked. Sorry everyone.
This is probably going to be a long update, to make up for the lack of quality recently. go grab a drink, light up a smoke, and settle in. this one winds all over the place.
About a month ago, i signed up for the "Meet Me" on HotorNot.com. Basically, you go through a slideshow of people, read a little about them, and then click whether or not you'd Like to meet them. It's interesting, to say the least. I did it out of amusement, and out of some sick sesne that maybe it might work for me, since just about everything else to this point has failed.
the other day, i get this from one of my double-Matches in my email.(my comments in italics):
Hi,
Looks like we matched!(if by "matched', you mean i got tired of clicking NO on Just about every profile because they come across as shallow and conceited, Not to mention living several hundred miles away, then i guess we did match I clicked Yes to you because you're a total
cutie!(you're a goddamned Liar, and a terrible one at that) I am sending this note because I think we could be friends and
maybe more and one of us has to be a Star Member for us to email each
other, and I think the gentleman should pay.So much for the women's movement
Hope to talk to you soon!
M
Most likely, this is HotorNot trying to shill thier premium services, and should be regarded as such.
However, On the Off-hand chance it's not, I sent a response.
M,
Obviously, you didn't read my profile. let me give you a couple of pointers: when i say "I'm still trying to figure out what i want to be when i grew up", that really means "I don't have a good job becuase i made poor life choices, and don't have money, respect, or power. Therefore, I'm not genetically viable." That last Fact is Verified by the statements "I'm a 26y/o Guy", "no Kids" and "Single(for a while now)".
Sorry for the reality. It sucked for me to learn that, too. hope you find what you're looking for.
P.S. I'm not hard to find online. If you really wanted to "be friends and possibly more", you certainly don't need a pay service to find me.
Livingdead(hint, Hint.)
Let it Be known that I no longer wonder why i'm Still single. between this, girl from The Barrell Drive-thru, and the 10 minute Date with Jesusgirl, I'm pretty sure that i'm a insensitive jackass who is too jaded to mantain a functional relationship. Hell, I'm not sure i even want a relationship anymore. i'm just going out and Meeting women now for the outrageous stories.
I've been playing Warcraft 3 for the last week, and i just got to the Night elves Campaign. Christ almighty, i hate these fairies. It's the last campaign, and it shows because it's damned hard. I'm tempted to grab the cheat codes, if, for nothing else, i don't give myself an aneurysm from screaming holy hell at my stupid Night elf Archers, who are only capable of doing one thing: dying.
halfway through the week i thought better and switched to another game, as Any PC gamer knows that Warcraft 3 is a gateway drug to a much darker and more sinister Game: World of Warcraft. So i tried Patrician 3, where i learned that i would have never made it as a 14th Century Trader. I got burned on a Salt and Spice Deal, and that was that.
So, Back to Warcraft, where i didn't have to deal with that kind of Nonsense. Only Stupid Elves.
Confidential to Brandocrap: Your THUG Online victory is Hollow and Meaningless.
How about this...A New Harvey Danger album for free? You bet. Go on, Stick it to the RIAA Legally. You Know you want to. I'll be the first to say i wouldn't have heard this album otherwise. Definately worth paying for the physcial CD on principle alone. not only that, it's easy on the ears.
speaking of organs,i found this Surfing through HackADay. I think it's awesome, but i don't think i'd ever do it myself. Too Nerdcore for me, and i don't wear my glasses enough to justify that. I should, but i don't.
Well, that's about all for today. I Got to figure out a Way to get out of Work friday so i can catch My ride to Joplin. That's another story for another time.
My Grandmother, Bless her heart, is cool. However, if i had one wish, I would wish she was as cool and Old Grandma Hardcore. The Best i can do, though, is get her to watch as me and brandon kick the shit out of each other on Socom 2, which she does enjoy watching. She also gets a kick out of watching me play games that piss me off. One time, I was playing Super Monkey Ball DX, and I Dropped off a ledge on a certain course for what was probably the 40th time.
What came out of my mouth was a filthy string of words, mostly pertaining to how i was going to take this game, copulate with it in its rectum, and then smash it against a damned Wall, then copulate with the shattered pieces, coat myself in it's blood, and then burn it in effigy to the dark god Bizzmerac.
Then i realized my grandma was sitting on the couch down from me. I looked in her direction, almost positive i was going to get the "you're a horrible person and you're no longer my grandson" look from her. She was grinning ear to ear. "That Game Pissing you off, huh?"
I know that most of you would never think of unleashing a wave of swears in front of your parents, let alone your grandparents, but where do you think I learned my colorful language? Grandma. Hell, it was becuase of her i got a swatted in Kindergarten becuase The teacher asked me to tell the class my name, and i said "Goddamnit Mike." You, Casual Reader, may think it's a bastardization of a Bll Cosby Skit, but then again, you most likely have never met my Grandmother.
every once in a while, she'll meander into the livingroom and sit down while i'm watching a movie. The other night we watched "The Longest Yard". at one point in the movie, after one of the convicts "tackled" another Convict, she commented: "He really hurt him. Is that what you did in high school?"
"Yeah, Kind of. Except we didn't win a whole lot of games and I didn't kick people in the face."
Anyway, Back to Games. DId you see the Nintendo Revolution Controller? take a look.
Now Tell me that dosen't look like a Remote Controlled Sex Egg, with a Knob On it for "Extra Stimulating Pleasure". If the Gamecube Controller looks like a robot threw up on a boomerang, then the Revolution controller is the result of said robot taking a dump after eating a Gamecube Controller.
Let it be known that i kicked the shit out of Brandocrap on SOCOM 2 Online last night.
Also, let it be known that I suck at single player SOCOM 2, which i played right after kicking said fecal lmatter out of brandocrap. I failed the training mission horribly becuase my goddamned bot teammates couldn't understand what i was saying over my USB headset, which appearantly also sucks because i there's no Volume control, and you can't use it t talk trash in the game online. or, i'm a dumbass and couldn't figure it out.
Anyway, Note to America: Don't depend on me to save the world from Terrorism, Unless it's on cs_Office or Brandocrap's the only terrorist.
I started a wishlist on Amazon, mostly becuase everytime i search on there, i come across something awesome, and like a jackass, i neevr write it down,so i end up forgetting what or why i wanted in the first place. So now i should never forget. or that's the idea. That and you should search for my list and see what awesome stuff i'm wanting.
Well, time to fix dinner. hopefully this will amuse you for a while.
Read/Watch/Listen/Play:
FM 21-76 US ARMY SURVIVAL MANUAL, Department of the Army.
Half-life Oppposing Force AND Blue Shift, Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance 2, and flippy-cup games, cell phone's off for the time being, and i think i'm still hung over from last night. Long weekend, but overall. A good one.
sorry. nothing really exciting to write about, so, in lieu of real content, here's a transcript of a conversation i had the other night which has made me swear off of Yahoo chat forever:
cc (12:12:04 AM): oh yeah
cc (12:12:11 AM): a little drunk here
Me (12:12:20 AM): nothing wrong with that.
cc (12:12:29 AM): and horny...
me (12:12:41 AM): fair enough
me (12:12:53 AM): by the way, i'm a guy.
me (12:13:01 AM): and i'm striaght.
cc (12:13:03 AM): i know
me (12:13:25 AM): good to clear that up
me (12:13:39 AM): usually people think because i have dame in my username, that i'm a woman.
cc (12:13:51 AM): i see your pic
cc (12:14:00 AM): u r definitley a m
cc (12:14:25 AM): u horny?
me (12:14:53 AM): that depends whether or not you're a female.
cc (12:16:12 AM): m here
me (12:16:20 AM): sorry pal.
cc (12:16:26 AM): str8
cc (12:16:41 AM): and horny
me (12:16:43 AM): and so am i
me (12:17:00 AM): but not horny for a dude
cc (12:17:45 AM): u got a thick cock?
me (12:18:13 AM): WTF?
me (12:18:29 AM): well, thanks a lot
cc (12:18:35 AM): for?
me (12:18:38 AM): now i have to go drink myself to sleep. Ignore
I can't win, folks. I can't win. And how can you be straight and want to kow how thick another guy's dick is? that just raises even more questions.
well, time to go rot my brain more with video games.
Continuing on the home server tangent from yesterday. NO, i dunno how these are feeding into each other, either.
So, last night i was mucking around with my half-life 2 game, becuase i've been bicurious about trying this little game called counter-strike. I'd love to play it online, but i had no Experience whatsoever playing CS and until last night, would have been outright embarrassed to jump onto a server and get promptly kicked off for team-killing or something equally stupid, like shooting hostages or whatnot.
found out that Counter-Strike: Source comes with Bots to play against so as to be able to populate a server. NOw i'm hooked. Deathmatch with a purpose. I seem to be getting on the trendwagon a bit late, but damn, i really do love this game. Now, if only some of my kickass cool friends would buy HL2, get could get a party going on at the house of the dead. If i can't find a home for myself, I'll Build one. heh.
Took a drive yesterday out to the lake, of which i have been doing a lot of lately. coming over the Bridge, I caught a good look at the sky. to the North of the bridge, a crimson-streaked sunset set against a cerulean sky of thnning clouds. Peaceful, ordered, serene rays skittered off of the waters. To the south of the bridge, a Wall of clouds. Dark, Forboding mists ensconsed the waters within it's own brand of chaos and uncertainity.
an odd, beautiful, and ultimately, sad picture for me to see. if anything, i believe it relates more to my past than it does to the present, if there was anything for me to read into the scene in the first place.
Maybe i just try to think things out too much. Sometimes a sky is just a sky.
In the day when i Fragged on a 56k modem line, i used to connect to a Lithium server up in Carlinville Called Temple of Assassins. after the Fall of my old home server, The Naked Death Server, and still on my sojourn from the SOI chatsite at the time, i was in need of a new "home" online.
ToA became that new home. A nice, Steady influx of (for the most part)nice people who weren't there to stomp ass and hurl insults. they were there to game. talk a little smack, hurl some Rockets, and everyone had a good laugh. It's LIke looking for a good bar. some bars are full of jackasses, where others attract clientele that you don't consider yourself part of. Yet others are members only, some are too rich for your tastes, others you can't get in for age reasons, et cetera and so on and so forth until you find one that fits you. Apply the same principle as if you were a dork gamer who has scoured the serverlists for a place that you want to keep going back becuase there's always someoen there, and most likely, they're a regular as well and (hopefully) aren't a jackass. in the Nearly ten years i've been gaming online, I've only named two places "home": Naked Death and Temple of Assassins.
Becuase of how much time i did spend at this place, I tried to find it again last night. The Homepage for ToA has since crumbled away, but the actual Server still lingers on. I connected to the server, expecting the worst since no one plays Quake2 anymore, and still, i wasn't prepared for the vast landscape of empty that awaited me.
So many memories in this little virtual ghost town.
I did find out that there is still a place where a good deal of the refugees of ToA ended up, and got to play a little catch up with the lives of some of the people. Sadly, I found out one particular player i remember well, had died from cancer.
I've always be reluctant to try a MMORPG like everquest, Partly becuase of the crack-like addicting qualities, but also becuase part of me is always scared to log in and find out that everyone and everything i knew is gone becuase of the ravages of time. You almost begin to resent real life for destroying that one last place you want so desperately to hang onto, where you bask in the glory of the true good times you had. Real life or Virtual has no real bearing in the connections, the Emotional Bonds that you make. they both can impact you as equally.
You Could Say I'm Searching for a Home Server Again, In the Real and the Virtual.
damnit. I can't get my baldur's Gate 2 to work. like any of you care, but i've been reading a lot of frogotten realms lately, and immersing myself back into the world of Dungeons and Dragons.
Yes, i'm a dork. Fuck you. let's move on.
Anyways, so i've been on this kick with FR. Most likely to gear up for my favorite time of the year, October, when Salvatore releases his newest book, which deals directly with two of my favorite characters from the series, Artemis Entreri and Jarlaxle.
Now that i'm thinking of it, October is going to be a kickass month for all kinds of reasons. Nails concert, trips, and the fact that it'll be getting colder again. ohhh, how i love that cold. fat kids aren't built for Summer Weather. and the winter reflects a lot about me anymore, i believe.
anyways, up early this morning cause i gotta go to work. actually made myself breakfast this morning for the first time in what seems forever. usually, i'm not a big fan of breakfast, but i got up way earlier than i needed to, and decided to give it a whirl to see if i still got mad cooking skillz, and i do. though Mrs. Dash and coffee dosen't mix too well, let me tell you.
anyways, got the next couple of days off, and i hear there's happenings going on as well. gonna make the most of them. and if it results in me getting horribly drunk and pulling another stupid-ass, possibly life-threatening stunt, then more power to me, right?
The flames of rebellion burn hotter than ever in me. Three generations strong.
Nothing can, and nothing will quench the firestorm now.
Read/Watch/Listen/Play:
Star of Cursrah, clayton Emery.
Million Dollar Baby, Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Hillary Swank.
Doom3 makes me cry like a bitch. Seriously. i put the headphones on, and play it at night, and i swear to christ i'm going to buy a gun becuase of this game and keep it under my pillow. been a long, long LONG time since a game elicted this much panic and terror from me. and I LOVE IT.
only really updating today because i wanted to share something with you all that i found after updating. gauranteed to drive ya nuts, which is my aim. go... watch and listen.
well, i screwed my sleep schedule up reel good mighty-like, just not in the form i needed to. oh well. one or two more days to fix that, or else i'll be taking a nappy-time with my niece in Ohio. I really don't want to do that, becuase i fully intend to kick Justin sane's ass in halo 2. yeah, i'm talking trash, whassup? I ain't frontin. you can't Handle the combined powers of Daft punk and Ricer City Ransom!
anyways, that's enough.and hey... if you feel a little jilted becuase it seems like all i did was put ABS links in my update today, i'm sorry. now that i said that, here's a little something to waste time. go find Waldo. you'll find him a lot easier if you are in a dark room. dunno why, but it helps.
I beat half-life 2 last night. Awesome, but now i'm more confused than ever. Now i'm ready to give doom 3 a try once i get ahold of it. but for now, i think i'll just run around the HL2 deathmatch servers for a bit. i did a test run last night and found out i'm a bit rusty on my skillz. well, no better time to practice than right now, right?
so that's what i'm going to do. since i seem to have some kind of fundamental problem in all other areas of life, i'm just going to escape into my own little world. Better than knocking up some clapped out trailer trash, and better than doing drugs, right?
So, those that were there friday night at herrinfest know the main story, to give a recap:
Celebrex+Almost nothing to eat all day+a metric fuckton of beer=A very drunk and beligerant Livingdead.
I know i probably pissed a few people off by my absolute refusal to leave at the time, but hey... i was having the time of my life challenging nature to do her worst. That, and welll, have you tried reasoning with yourself when you're drunk? it dosent' go too well.
anyways, i had a hell of a time, despite the shitty last couple of weeks compounding on me, and despite the fact that it was raining like hell. I ran into all kinds of people i knew, so i felt safe enough to get that plastered. also, i felt safe.
that all changed after about the fifth piss break.
on my way to the john, i realized that i might need to call in and let my friends("Mike, we're leaving you here. we'll be back to get you later." "Okay, you bunch of Nancies!") know that i was ready to be picked up. once in the john, i set down my cuppy-cup collection(it was about two feet long at this point, i think) and started making the business. whilst doing so, i dug my cellphone out of my pocket, went to flip it open, fumbled, and heard it splash right into the port-o-potty.
"goddamnit, i dropped my phone.." i grumbled, as i finished pissing and bend down to pick it back up out of the hole. Luckily, before my hand crossed the barrier into the realm of human waste, a thought popped into my head- at least five thousand people have probably used this thing today. That's cholera, Hep A, and schistosomiasis, to name a few of the nasties i could possibly end up with.
"fuck it. I'ts just a phone." that was probably the smartest thing i done all day.
tried to hit on a chick wearing a Wicked Women Choppers Shirt, but that was a train wreck and a half. Staggered on out of there once, when the rain reaqlly hit hard because i needed smokes, went back to the concert, eventually ending up being found by nunkie and Salmo clinging desperately to a Stop Sign for support. How i wasn't an obvious Target for a Drunk in public ticket, i have no idea. Hell, i even went up to a cadre of cops bitching to them about how i lost my cell phone and i want it back please get someone to get it for me okay nevermind i'm drunk i need more beer bye. by the time i got home, i didn't make it to the steps(appearantly i was also splashing around in the ditch when Nunkie dragged my ass out of the car) before it was time to "pull the trigger".
My Liver is Pissed at me.
Saturday and sunday were a lot less uneventful, Went bowling with the kids, went down to marion to get Half-life 2 and Manhunt.
Speaking of those... I have a new computer. Thanks to Gracious Benefactors, i got a bunch of castoff hardware that makes for a pretty sweet system. Sadly, it meant the retirement of Compy, the 350Mhz speed demon loaded with a sweet 16 MB Voodoo3 3000 AGP.
fear not, however, i got A copy of Linux around here somewhere. with all the excess hardware i'm awash in at the moment, i might just give him the Honorable way out: burning himself up whilst Multitasking.
As i mentioned earlier... becuase of this generous gift by Some grand friends, i decided it was time that i get back into PC games, and bough Half-life 2. then the realization hit me: i have five years of computer gaming to catch up on(the last "fancy" game i was able to play was Diablo 2, back in 2001). this fact, coupled with the Glory that is Half-Life 2(don't worry doom, you'll get your chance), pretty much means that i will no longer have a social life, and also have absolutely no need for a girlfriend for at least six months.
So goodbye, and if you need me, call the House phone(at least for this week). I'll see you guys next year sometime. And if i can find time, I'll update. ;)
Seriously though: Some of you need to leave a message on my voicemail with your cell phone number so i can program it into my my new phone, when i get it.
A. a magazine that caters to my interests and shows me interesting aspects of social life that i have not seriously considered or heard about period. I find it entertaining, humorous, and i truely do enjoy the articles. the pictorals are tasteful and seductive, even artsy. I gladly pay my subscription fee.
or
B. A juiced-up skin rag that shows women i'll never fuck, interviews people i'll never meet, displays products i'll never be able to buy, and showcases a lifestyle i'll never enjoy. the subscribers are lining the pockets and fueling the habits of a 70+ year old man. and the humor sucks.
Now, far be it for me to be the prude, but i really am curious as to why people pay money for this stuff. I'm going to make up some statistics here, so bear with me as i whip out my trusty TI-83+ Scientific calculator and make some computations.
okay, let's say that maybe 25% of the men in america that subscribe to PB are Affluent enough to be able to enjoy the finer things in like that PB showcases. that leaves 75% of male subscribers that are, for better or worse, the archtypical Blue collar worker who cannot spend 300 bucks on a good whiskey, or some other high priced item. is PB selling a subscription of dreams to the lower class? or is there something i'm just not getting? again, i'm not trying to rag on just PB here, as this can be applied to many, many other magazines, even some that i am a subscriber to. Hell, one could, in theory, apply it to online journals, though i'd be a bit crepped out if i fould out that there was some person in BFE Iowa who fiendishly devoured every word, recommendation, and experience i went though. I guess i'm just asking the age old question: Do you look at the boobies, or read the articles? Discuss.
anyway, not much else to report. well, yeah there is. I finally got a multitap for my PS2. while most of you are probably yawning at that, to tell the story behind getting said multitap is to tell a story of greatest proportions with equal parts agony, irony, and finally, joy that can only be understood by me, brandocrap, and nunkie, and other assorted total hardcore gamer dorks.
After having a few drinks at the bar friday night, we all adjourn back to my house to show Nunkie the joy and frustration that is Super Monkey Ball DX. after about a good hour of the three of us wanting to punch ourselves in the groin with spiked knuckles, we get the bright idea that we all have moeny and can split the cost of a Multitap if we go RIGHT NOW to Wal-mart. at 3:30 in the morning.
We get to wal-mart, only to find out that they have none in stock. shock, Irony, and the hint of Bloodlust sets in. I set off to find someone that will verify that yes, indeed, they are out of the Multitap. Brandocrap Asks him if he would call a couple of the other stores to see and he does so while the three of us are discussing who we are going to kill first in our frenzied rampage if there are none in the entire area.
glancing around the rest of the electronics area, i spot a stack of just delivered Product. Already filled with despair, i happen to glance at a Box that shipped from Sony. Lo and behold, A box full of the New Multitaps. My training at EB games has not gone to Waste!
And then... no sooner do i start to shout my discovery, the guy on the phone looks at me and says something that sounds like "Sir, Please don't touch that".
Now i'm royally pissed, but i dont have any bail money, and i don't think the other two would have bailed me out. So i stalk off, and Brandocrap asks me WTYf is wrong with me
"There is A box of Multitaps three feet away, and he's not going to let us have one!"
"dude, Maybe he dosen't know"
"He just told me not to touch it!"
well, it turns out i had misheard him(suprise, suprise), and someone brings it to his attention that they do have some in stock, and we end up getting a Multitap, to which we Skipped down the Aisles and spread sunshine and rainbows as we make our way to the checkout and Nunkie put it on his card. we went back to my place and craziness ensued. It was one of those nights were i wish there was a camera that was taking footage becaus the Insanity that followed was something that would have made you all Simultaneously Piss your pants laughing and confuse the fuck out of you.
And there ya go. the most boring story you will probably read this week unless you were one of the three of us. It's Like trying to explain Penduloso to anyone who wasn't there... you'll not gonna get it.
and here i was bitching about the elitist dream that PB sells to the lower castes. Pot, meet Kettle.
okay, so i was so going to stop with that last sentance, but i'm all wired on Cola, camels, and crystal method, so i'm slipping into freak out mode.
dude, we should seriously have a parety at the barrell this Sunday night. It's my last night and i'm Never going back. seriously Slwobek, let's get on this. we can keep it kinda low-key( and by low-key, i mean just everybody that reads this is invited) or we should like have it somewhere where we can get fuckfaced and like, Just be crazy. I know it's not like it's a special event and i've quit like eventeen billion times but dammnit, i wanna have a party. I'll dress up like chick corea and you can dress up like Stan Getz. See it'll be a theme Party? Ben can Be Dave brubeck and Tim Will be Buddy Holly and Brando Can be the Big Bopper or Babby McFerrin and He'll get us Hookers and he can expense them. can we Get dwayne to dress up like the chiquita bananna Lady? Seriously, I think he should do that for me. and he should do it for you too when you quit. It can be like, our special thing, right? he should do it, becuase he's coming back from whereever the fuck he's at. anyway, if we can'tswing that, we should put up a sign that says OPEN ALL NIGHT!!!
And then we'll get a giant Boombox and climb up onto the rooftop and throw ice at all the dumbasses that drive up. And then maybe Cracka Will Drive down dressed up a BB king and tman can come as Lord Saint Agnathby and then Brando Will expense some more hookers and i'll steal a pope hat and we can have a Mud wrestling contest between me and the Hookers in the COOLER becuase that will be EXTREEMMMEEE!!!!! kinda like right now I'm all EXTREME KEYBOARDING AND I"M THE BIGGEST GODDAMNED RUSH FAN ON THE INTERAZNETS anyways so we should do this Becuase seriously, how many other times am i going to quit? And i can't go to the Bonepony show becuase i'm going to 'lyssa's Play so we should compensate by having a Go away party for me. Seriously, do it or else i'll die and come back as zombo-Mike and kill every one of you fuckers. or i'll keep drawing stupid shit like this until you do.
Friday: down to Cape. Dinner with the SO's G-ma. Meeting more of her friends. Driving Back to town for Drunken Rockouts at the S. Sadly, No goats showed, so my description to her of it as a "true Hick Bar" fell somewhat short. Nonetheless, more showed than i expected and she got to meet a good deal of the crazies. Appearantly, There is still a bet out on who is going to make her cry once table rules are broken out in full force. Not Only that, I broke(somewhat) out of the nervousness shell i've had on since we started dating. Good Times, indeed. Even My mother stopped up at the S on a dare. How Fucked up is that?
Saturday: got up and got something to eat with the SO then work. so it was cool until i went to work. gotta take the good with the bad.
Sunday: had some good times with Nunkie and Brando, ate at 17th street in marion, not too bad except for the really manly sounding waitress. Work, then a suprise call from SO sayin she's coming back up and gonna stay overnight. Rawk.
Monday: Lotsa drving. Not me mind you. cape, then perryville, then back to cape, then back to here and some hangout times at Bradong's and some Wacthing of a Movie call "Ali G Indahouse" wowza. Funnier than i thought it would be. then retiring back to my place as Nunkie, Brando and gave an overview of the next Extreme Sports Craze - MilkCrate PokeStick™. Next, a horrible scheming of a human anomaly even I cannot describe in proper words. and then the SO took pictures of us trying to demonstrate excatly the mechanics of said melding of human bodies in a deadly Malloc-Challenging fashion.
then the party broke up, and i played some Super Monkey Ball DX And, of course, cursed it until i was blue in the face for being so fucking hard.
All the time i've been here in this area, I've always felt i played in a small way, the role of Chronicler. I'm always around, and i usually hear what's going on with so and so and how he or she is doing. While i've never complained about having this sort of unoffical title and honor of passing on the knowledge of whoever's doing well and whatnot, I'm starting to feel the part of a Signpost: Always with the information, yet Will never Leave the place it is Firmly Rooted in.
Once when i thought of this, i figured that it was my going to be my role: The eversteady person to those wayward souls that leave this place and come back to visit every so often.
Nowadays, when i think of that role i have slipped into, i also think of a Quote from A video Game Ad.
Challenge Fate.
Strange how such a Media can Be a Never-ending source of Inspiration.
I had a Lovely Weekend. and i also obviously like vague statements about how my times are going.
a bunch of unrelated stuff to talk about, so this updates gonna be kinda meaty with a dash of incohereant.
Happy birthday to Jehboah, one half of the gracious hosts of newbloodstudio.com that allow me to continue to exist on the web Ad-free, pop-up free, and Admin-free...all so i can keep serving up my own saucy brand of wit. Work with me here, Kids.
I sold my PS2 This weekend on a whim. I've been wanting one of the sexier, smaller ones due to the fact that i use it constantly, and such usage could burn out the drive tray. Not only that, but the network adapter provided au gratis by braddong was incompatible with my current hardware. So, after selling it, i headed to Wal-mart in benton to grab one of the sleek new pieces of wonderbox, only to find out that they were sold out.
"Damnit," i thought. "guess i'll just wait till tomorrow to go find one elsewhere." And then i decide against waiting becuase i'm probably going to Die without one.
I get to DuQuoin Wal-mart around 2:30 in the morning. Sold out.
Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot. This simply will not stand.
3:50 in the am, and i'm in Carbondale. As luck would have it, i get my hands on the very last PS2 they have in stock, amid the musings of the electronics guy going "that's the first time i've seen someone dance like that in my time working here. Granted, I probably shouldn't have been doing the bump and grind on the casing holding said system at four in the morning, but that's neither here nor there.
the rarity of these things in Southern Illinois(at least in this particular area) made me think about my own adventures behind the counter at EB. You see, back in 2002, there was a rash of sales concerning the redesigned Playstation 1's by men who were akin to buying three or four at a time. The strange thing was, they were buying nothing else but the systems. no warranties, no memory cards, nothing. just multiple systems at once. they were appearantly buying out the area, it seems.
Well, this got the attention of the Local authorities, as there was rumors that the components were being used to create bombs for an impending terrorist attack. That turned out that the systems weren't being bought so Osama can build a Nuclear Device out of Tekken(he should have taken a Cue From Saddam and Bought PS2's instead), but they were using the small redesigned units to ship drugs in after tearing out the electronic components.
What kind of drugs, do you ask? I can only speculate on this, but just for reference, here is a Picture of a Kilo-sized Brick of Cocaine. draw your own conclusions.
anyways, i just worked out a secret deal that it going to wrap up this update for today. Hey, you all want something to read tomorrow, right? Thought so.
Read/Watch/listen/Play
the Silent Blade R.A. Salvatore.
Interview with the Vampire: the Vampire ChroniclesBrad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas.
to quote CJ from Dawn of the dead: "it fucking figures."
i got a wild hair up my ass tonight and wanted to play Age of Empires. in the course of cleaning up the sty that is my computer desk a couple of weeks ago, i remember seeing it no less than seven times. I'll be damned if i couldn't find that CD tonight for the life of me.
It always seems that when i want to find something, i can find everything that has been missing on me but don't want at that moment. I found my Diablo 2 registration key(i needed this like a month ago), My Night of the living dead 30th anniversary edition VHS(someone asked if they could borrow it), A David Bowie CD i forgot to MP3, My checkbook(didn't even know it was lost), both Booklets for My Nine inch nails CD's, and the registration key for The Said missing CD, and three other computer games that i never even played.
I even tried reverse psychology-calling out to the aloof Game, telling it how i really don't want it anymore, and i'm going to play starcraft instead because it's right here. But alas, i ended uup settling upon one of the other games i found but had never played- Fallout 2. It's Kinda neat, but the combat system is kinda wonky for me. I was expecting a Baldur's gate 2 and got something else. But the post-apocalypse theme is kinda rad, and it's got that dark humor that drives my loins wild.
right, i didn't need to write that last sentance. on that note, i think i'll go catch some sleep.
i have a shitty computer. Therefore, i cannot play kickass cool games. i'm too poor and lazy to rebuild one from scratch, and i'm too much of a snob to buy a closed-system(read: hard as fuck to upgrade) from Wal-mart or the like on the cheap.
So i look on the interwebs occasionally for odd little games to download and play. a lot of times i run into crap that dosen't hold my attention for five minutes before i go back to looking at muppet porn.
Yesterday, i found one i found interesting: Election Day. It's a pretty deep campaign Simulator. so far, I've been trying to run for Governor of Illinois. I had a pretty good chance until the game crashed on me. Maybe it'll work for you, maybe it won't. Other than the fact it's crashed one me twice and it has a steep learning curve, i have no complaints, especially since it's free(you gotta register with the site to download the game, though.) It's fun, educational(somehow), and quirky. right up my alley.
Speaking of which, i regretfully inform you all that the Intergalactic Invasion force of LUnar colony 2206 no longer exists on Nationstates. A day for for it's four billion Citizens when The Supreme Overlord didn't report for office in time. Sorry for all the Immigrants, Brandocrap and Corneil.
would You Pay 300 Bucks For a sticker? P.T. Barnum Would Be proud.
other than that, not much else to speak of today. All work and no day off in sight.
Not much to report. i have a day off tomorrow from both places. I'm stoked. I am Offically out of SIU for a year. not so stoked about that.
REALLY not stoked about ESPN jumping into bed with EA. It's offical: Electronic Arts eats diseased cock for breakfast and ESPN sucks now, too. goddamnit. if you like good sports games, this is the last year to get the good ones, if you ask me.
So i talked one time about a coworker i hate at the liquor store. I got another awesome story to tell you about him.
He's going to become a certified Bounty Hunter now. He's gonna take classes and catch all the bad crooks and earn a living and gets all the wimmins.
Do you know what it takes to get certified? In most cases, a gun and a little reading on skip tracing. That's it. If you're a sucker, you end up buying some other bounty hunter's "textbook" and get a shiny piece of paper that any bondsman would Laugh his ass off at.
As much as i hate to shit on Little Boba Fett's Dreams here, but the other term for "bounty Hunter" is called "Bail Enforcement". In illinois, it's illegal. If you find that stuff interesting, you can read some more here.
Oh, to correct an error, on the last R/W/L/P, The Game was NHL 2K5, and not 2K4. My apologies.
speaking of that...
Read/Watch/Listen/Play
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams.
Schindler's List, Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsley, Ralph Fiennes.
So tonight that i might see Mazzy Star.
Tour of the dead update Next Friday.
Confidential to Unknunkie: Tie Domi is a dirty bastard.
Read and Laugh, if you've got the time. Starring everyone's favorite Zany Dictator!
School is interesting. Chem isn't too bad so far. Walking from Neckers to Life Science kinda sucks, but at least i can smoke a cigarette on the way.
Got metroid Zero Mission(finally) to help pass time between classes on campus, and i'm already stuck. My gamer Skillz are beginning to tarnish, methinks. i remember when i wasted a whole summer of my youth just beating the shit out of this game over and over, and now nintendo had to go and change shit up and totally screw with my program. Damn you, Nintendo.
I May or may not get one of these. I need all the bonuses i can get. I'd rather get one of these and use the line from this one that became today's Subject line.
not much, but enough for now. My ass is tired from the day of school and A hard day of slacking off With Front Mission 4.
Thank you to whoever is deciding to let me sleep when i am on the couch clearly not watching TV. don't even think about the fact that i may have completely screwed up my sleep schedule. i've been up since 3 am, and this is a double plus ungood thing.
so here's something funny: did you know that when an anime character gets a nosebleed, he/she/it is thinking of dirty thoughts? okay, maybe you did know that, but i didn't. I don't watch all that much anime, having got my fill of tentacled rape demons when i rented Legend of the over-fiend at the tender age of 16, back before anime was cool to watch.
knowing all that, go back and watch the April fools joke on homestar runner.
Tueday was an okay day, despite the fact that i slept most of it away once i got home. no major fuckups from the Retarded Lab Partner From Hell, so all in all, a good day.
have you ever bought a bunch of DVD's, only to discover a couple of weeks later that there are even more you want to buy but now don't have the cash to do so? I'm fiending to Get the Texas chainsaw remake and Matrix Revolutions. and i wouldn't mind having that Kill Bill either. and while i'm wishing on a star, I'd love to get Tony Hawk Underground as well, even though i suck at stakeboarding.
That's another thing: Everytime i play a game like Tony Hawk, or Crazy taxi, or even the old old game Midtown Madness, i get this urge to either take up stakeboarding, or fly to a City featured in video games, rent a car, and drive like i got a nuke up my ass. Good thing i'm on the level and don't actually try things like that, although i am loathe to mention that once i tried to mount a River Raid with one of those giant styrofoam planes over indian Creek, but it didn't go so well, but i chalk that up to the inexperience of a nine year old. I blame Society, though, for making me believe that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up, since i'm not a mutant superhero who gets all the lay-dees.
Props to Dreaders for the furry fucker article from up north. And props to Dreaders just because. If there's one person online that i still want to meet, it's him. partly becuase i still have this drive in me that likes to meet cool people from online, but mostly becuase i want to go to canada and drink a bar dry with him and wrestle bears in hot tag team action. Jesus, that just sounds dirty and wrong.
here's another link for those fellow dorks that like the R.A. Salvatore. looks interesting at the least.
one more thing: I used to have a little green box that had a bunch of cards in it that had different animals on each card, and you would get new cards in the mail every so often. I'm trying to remember the name of the Set that it was, and i can't seem to find my set(well, i found one card, the Roe Deer). does anyonw remember WTF this thing was called?
anyway, so i hearsay that there will be a bunch of the folks in town this weekend. My liver would like to give a preemptive "fuck you guys", just so you know.
i took a few days off becuase i had in scientific terms, A shitty week. on top of some personal shit i was going through, i got my finger smashed in a window, my computer took it's final breath after a failed video card upgrade, and i missed more school than what i should have.
so, where to go from there? I did have a better weekend than the week, though. here's some video games i rented since i have an Xbox at my disposal with the surrogate brother gone.
The Suffering: Cool game, from what i got to play of it. Damn thing kept locking up on me and i didn't get to do all that much.
Splinter cell: Pandora tomorrow: Too hard to get anywhere good in the one night i had it.
Soul Caliber 2: kickass fighting game!
And this weekend i beat my first Xbox game: Unreal Championship. It felt soooo good to be able to rumble with a first person shooter after a long period of not being able to.
I also rented True Crime: Streets of LA, but i didn't get a chance to play it.
I did some pawnshopping today, and picked up paper mario for an unreasonably low ten bucks. also at the same pawn shop, they had not one, but TWO copies of Kid Icarus for five bucks. i thought i would throw that in for that one person who once had that game but "lost" it.
What the fuck was with all the nirvana playing all day on TAO? goddamn, talk about buring it all out akll becuase he died today. Now before you all start jumping my ass and all that junk becuase i'm downing one of the greatest bands of al time or whatever, get this: They were playing all the demos they had, and there was NOTHING else. I won't lie to you, i'm not a huge fan of Nirvana, but every once in a while i don't mind hearing Negative Creep, You Know You're Right, or some Heart Shaped box, but not all goddamned day, and there's no faster way to burn me out on it than to play nothing but nirvana on a station that is owned by the Biggest whores in radio.
eh. whatever. anyways, not much else to talk about. it was a shitty week, and i'm sorry i'm not talking about it, but the sooner i get it behind me, the better.
besides, things are looking up. Sometimes its good to grow up a little when you're hitting you're mid-twenties.
For all the dirty Welshman out there... Represent.
Anyways, I am sitting next to my Friend Jenny Mad Mad in the Compy 386 lab talking about various things until i decided to Plug my Ears up with some MP3 hotness.
So... about this rainbow Animations, that Cracka's got up... I thought i saw horrible horrible things before, but no... Ducktales is forever ruined. If there is to be a happy ending in having forever fucking up my Childhood, it's that the song that plays at the very end of the Animation was awesome, and i found it. by now, i think i've played it about twenty-five thousand times.
Anyways, let's see what i can bitch about today, shall we? I really should be catching a nap, but that's what Math class is for.
A long time ago, I used to be in the Emulation Scene. it was good times, as it meant getting to play all the old games i wanted to for free. There was no intentional Harm in it, or anything like that. I got introduced to quite a few games by way of emulation. it's how i found out the game of that cool Star Wars game i used to play in the barroom when i was three(mom was a bartender, and it was the 80's, when no one accused everything of being morally Corrupt). times were good, and games were easy to get.
Then, some Jackhole had to go and Make an emulator ro an existing System(it was the N64) and nintendo got all kinds of pissed. They went and formed some stupid Corporate Software Equivalant to the RIAA(not quite, but i was stuck for an analogy) which helped get The DCMA Bill pushed through, which, if you have been keeping score for the last couple of years, has totally fucked up finding anything on the web.
anyways, The Emu scene was awesome good times, but nowadays i just stick with the Real stuff-Old consoles, games, and whatnot. Not so much becuase i fear legal Reprucussion, But my Controller on the Puter Sucks these days.
anywho, Sorry for rambling on about Tech Geek shit that a lot of you don't care about. I just miss the Days of NESticle and Genecyst. Good times, good times.
Oh, I gotta drop one more link(props go to The Lady for this find) Because STD-ster is teh hotness. if i ever learn how to program P2P Applications(not likely) or get a bajillion dollars to blow on Women and Crack(also not likey), I'm going to create(or have Created by someone who knows how) and create BradongSter. Becuase it's something the world needs.
Dawn of the dead TOMORROW, fuckers. Watch it or be left behind when the Zombie Apocalypse does happen!
no, I didn't forget about you guys, But i do figure that you're tired of staring at the same page for the last four days. please understand, though, that i have been on spring break(in case you missed the headlines this week). So, let's move on and start this thing.
Learning what an Electra Complex was, thanks to a bar game at fearless's.
I'm too creepy for Sex.(this phrase has been uttered many times this past week).
Having no further reason to go to West Side Cafe any longer, as they no longer serve White pie, which, by the way, 0wnz3rs the collective pie asses of the world.
other than that, there wasn't much to this break.
I'm not a fan of Adverts, but as i was doing my own blog crusing.... i came upon a little nugget on Nunkie's Site. Check out what they got planned for the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre: Part 2.
Remember the Garbage pail Kids? they were cool, right? well guess who started using a knock-off of them for pursue thier own stupid-assed agenda? if you guessed the Furry fuckers, you're right.
And in case you are bored shitless this Saturday Night, the Real life story of the Snakehead Fish shall be on Sci-fi Tonight at 9 pm. that's about an hour from now. Tom Servo and Crow, This is our hour Of need.
yup. here's a real update. I'm sorry they have been short and sweet the last few days, but i am on spring break. that means, drinking, video games, and general hooliganism. but, i have found today to be rather good to give you the update you crave. I have been a bit busy with sticking my manhood into a VCR since i now have one once more, so sorry about that.
uhm... right. here's some news to distract you from that mentally scarring thought.
do you really want to know why shit like this happens? because people are stupid. I'll not lie to you... I like to spend a good chunk of time playing video games, but to me, it's like Drinking liquor: drink too much, and you'll go comatose. not only that, but i tend to play games that don't suck down a good chunk of my billfold money per month. another theory i have(excuse the american ignorance, if you will) is that the places that this usually happens in are so terrible in real time that the kids would rather spend thier lives online all the time as an escape from reality. my third idea is that the amount of people in the world are playing games more... so there's destined to be a couple that are going to die whilst playing video games.
either way... i always get a little pissed when the Presses that be call them "video Game Junkies". it always makes me feel like I'm some addict on methadone treatment when i'm playing Ogre battle. nevermind the fact that when i was growing up, i played video games all the time, when i could have been doing other things, like Drugs, robbing old ladies, Vandalism, and the like.
blah. I'm going to get off this rant. it's better than having to hear about how My shiny little discs and cartridges are murder simulators.
if nothing else pisses you off today, This Should. or maybe this will. either way, long as you get pissed, that's fine with me.
anywho, enough for now. I have to find my cell. appearantly i have twelve bajillion messages on it.
I thought i'd hammer something out right now, since i'm pissing off a lot of people by not doing somthing productive on one of the few computeres that still have net access. seem's half the lab is down, and after floating around for like 15 minutes, i finally scored one that i could use.
so anyways, we could go on and on about how Lord of the Rings smashed the shit out of everyone else at the awards show, but i honestly don't think any of you are going to care. at least, you'll care less once you hear about a little nugget i have picked up.
Behold, puny Humans: GTA: San Andreas. let me make a few return spaces whilst you drool.
I can say this at least: it's about goddamned time.
somthing else that has been out of the limelight for a while... a new Teen girl Squad!. Damn, i have missed these ladies. i can't tell if it's piss-your-pants-funny, since the speakers on my compy don't seem to work at all. I always seem to get the bum 'puters.
I'll tell you this much... it looks hilarious. can't wait to hear it.
anywho... not much else going on. were i home right now, i'd probably be able to tell you more about Stuff going ons. But, I have a Biology Club meeting today, and thus, why i am still at the school. If i were smart, i would have brought my Gameboy and crashed out somewhere for a couple of hours. But where would that leave you, herr reader?
oh yeah... here's something.... Check out this website for furry-fuckers lite. I think you'll get a kick out of the picture that loads. the good news? at least thier Acronym is kinda cool.
the bad news? they might as well just go ahead and call themselves PETA, becuase thier logic is just about as goddamned Retarded.
and just think what it would be like if This was nationwide college policy. there'd be a lot more BDSM junkies going into postsecondary education, to start.
and finally... since i gave such a crappy update yesterday, here is some interesting info about the imfamous Leap Year. I'll give you a little nugget for free: It took The Papacy 359 years to issue an offical Apology to Galileo.
So, i wanted to go ahead and get an update in now, so all you early risers(read: suckers) have something to read. always thinking of you, dear reader. always.
becuase i need to fill some space here, it's time for...
TWO WORD MOVIE REVIEWS!
Dickie Roberts, former child star: Funny Movie.
League of Extraordinary Gentleman: Kinda cool.
Total Recall: Mars=awesome
Johnny Mnemonic: cyborg shemales
and a special treat for the kiddies: For those of you not in the know, Donnie Darko has a creepy ass website that actually enhances your Viewing pleasure of the DVD. check it out(kudos to Ba'alzamon for showing this to me while he was home the other night).
I got this link that i've been wanting to share for awhile now, and to be quite honest, i dunno what the hell took me so long to put it up. I do have a caveat about it though: it's one of those "fucking hilarious if you get it/sucks ass if you don't" type of sites. That's not me being an elitist snob or anything, honestly. it'll most likely be perma-linked later on today after i get out of Micro. and maybe i'll finally get < A href="http://actsofgord.com/>Acts of Gord up there while i'm at it.
Anywho, with that out of the way, I present to you: 8-bit theater.
in the "Fuck the RIAA" dept: woman countersues the RIAA on charges of racketeering. Rock on!
in somewhat related musical news: i hate groveling like this, but somebody please buy me this DVD!
by the way: we are now offically up to our ass in debt". this is the sound of me not making any implications, just so you know.
PS: as you can see, you can now check out what album to buy if you think some of the lyrics i post are catchy. here's what i wanna know: should i go back and retrolink all the lyrics in past updates? as always, comment below or fire off an email.
So, anyone else left in the dark over what happened this weekend?
Me too.
So, having little to nothing to go on, i am going to recreate that weekend for us not as cool people who didn't get to go.
Friday: This much we know: there was Some chicks that two of the boys used to have relations with, or wanted to have relations with, something of that sort, at a bar they all went to. Braddong and Brando go back to Brando's, and Tman and Nunkie head to aforemented chicks house.
Brandocrap, being the fool he is, gets online and run's into me and CrackerJack, and No less than four hours were spent drinking, and having the world's first online Power hour. I go and invite a couple of my friends, being the social drunk i am, into the conversation, and Hilarity ensured. Me and CrackerJack close out the night, with confessions that pretty much run like this:
Cracker Jack: Mann i'ms o durknk.
LivingDead: MEe too. you looka like you;'re going to Passw out.
Cracker Jack: I can'T must stay awakw.
Livingdead: fuck that6. I'm going to bed.
Crackerjack: me too. Goodnight.
and that was that.
Saturday: what happened here is anyone's guess, except for the three that were down there. So, I offer three scenarios as to what happened:
1. God came Down to Cape girardeau, and drank all thier asses under the table. One of them nearly dies of Alcohol poisoning, but aliens from the planet vixnar come and Save the life of affected friend by turning the evil spirits into apple Juice. God, Highly Pissed, Storms out, Taking the Stag with him.
2. somebody got a little too touchy-feely with someone else after renting and watching the movie "Crossroads".
3. They actually didn't go to cape, but went to some backwater town in MO where the song "deuling Banjos" was the school anthem, and Naked Pitcures of Ned Beatty were the norm. Sadly, Someone sqealed like a pig after a run in with the locals.
with all that said, I sincerely hope for 1 but dread it was 2. 3 was just something sick to gross out the regular kids.
anywho, enough about that, let's talk about my vain ass.
I went to wally world last night to go pick up Metroid Zero Mission, And suprise suprise, they didn't have it. I'm starting to wonder if i should really get it anyways, considering i have ten bazillion tests this week, and a book i need to be reading for another test monday. Couple that with the fact that the money in my wallet would be better spent on gas And other vices(beer and Cigs come to mind), i'm thinkign twice about picking it up right away.
But, then again, this is Metroid we're Talking about here, Folks. Ten thousand years from now, when the New Race unearths our Shattered and dessicated remains, what will they find? Well, if they find my remains, they'll bear witness to the greatest man who ever walked. you know why? Because i got teh coolest games(minus Pen Pen Triathlon, of course). So, It's only right that go and buy this game.
/vain
Hey... check this out... some dude Wrote an article offering up why Zombie movies are the coolest. and here's something else... a fish, Created to get rid of another fish. thanks a lot, science. all we need is killer kish that will probably be a rampant as the fish it's supposed to destroy. all i'm waiting for is when we start developing positronic Brains for Sharks. Because it'll be right around that time i pack my shit and start updating from Antartica. And that's only saying there's any of you left alive to read.
mdame
stuck on you
till the end of time
I'm too tired to fight your rhyme
stuck on you
till the end of time
you got me trapped inside
The ongoing misadventures of a late 20's 30 year old male still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Suggestions, hate mail, wedding proposals, and naked pictures of hot women can be sent here.
