I have to remind myself that the war is over and lost everything that i am fuckin crazy for thinking there was ever anything left right it all down so I don't forget that you were once someone worth fighting for a lost cause you made me love you loved me more than my deepest hurt is you now got your life I got a lifetime of fucking things up fixed in one determined flash in the pan out and see the big picture was framed all wrong cause i just played my role now I'm a star burning the ashes and dust out of control in a show you fell asleep on the couch to.

Today is one of those days.

This is, at this point in my life, the hardest thing I have ever tried to write. I don't really know where to begin with this other than to preface it with that.

That, and I don't expect this to change your opinion about me. I have no reason to think you'll ever see this, but one day, you might. maybe it can explain one or two things as to why I did what I did. Maybe you won't think so horribly of me in time. I don't expect this to make a lot of sense right away to anyone, ever.

I always thought that love is earned, never given. and that sometimes you may have to suffer for it. I like to think I was good at that - suffering well, to prove I was worthy of the sweetest fruit.

But I'm not worthy anymore.

I've become unfit to champion that cause.

I've been a lot like a child who is acting out: Any kind of attention is better than no attention. it seemed to be the only way I could get you to respond with any sense of passion with me. it wasn't the good kind of attention that I once had, but it was _something_. most other times I wouldn't hear a peep from you and that really bothered me because I thought I had meant something to you. I tend to not recognize the effects that time has on relationships because I spend so much time trying to fight to keep it alive. I'm also very particular. I didn't want some half-assed, quasi-state where there was no clear future, I wanted the former glories. I wanted that day in my room where you first said the three words that changed everything.

after all this time I still held hope that one day, I could come thundering back to Rockford, back to you, and to a life where I was no longer ignored or alone. I thought that was what I had moved up there for - to close the distance between us, to be together once more, unfettered by our responsibilities down here.

but that didn't happen. there were laid out by someone who effectively controlled our relationship who didn't like me because I wanted to do something special for you. there, the seeds of resentment found a perch.

I think we were still able to be saved, even after that long February night where I did nothing but fuck up with you. I didn't show it, I know. the fighting became worse and worse. something inside me was feeding my insecurities and I lost sight of things and lost it with the constant "can we please talk this over?" and "please come over" texts, once you got a car.

after you broke up with me in April, I hoped you would stop me from leaving after my lease was up. I hoped you would say "No, don't go. things are bad right now, but give it time, it can happen." I wanted my moving up there to have mattered enough that maybe... fuck. I dunno. I wanted it to matter enough that it would have saved us somehow. it didn't. I spent the last two months up there just wanting to crawl into the shower and open a vein. I felt that much of a failure and felt that I mattered that little anymore.

and I still felt like it too, when I did come home, by the muted goodbye you gave me. I left sooner than I even planned. but really... you were done with me and ready to start moving on so it seemed. I started to feed upon my anger and resentment as I had no other feelings to feed upon. Compassion, Love and other "good" emotions lied to me. hate and rage at least was honest with me.

lines of communication became sparse to non-existent. after several instances of being verbally smacked down by you for stupid shit I said... I watched. I watched like I did before when I was up there and you weren't there, wanting so much to figure out the puzzle that was you. wanting to keep some kind of connection to you. needing to know how you were doing. hoping, still, that you'd say "come back". I hoped the very same thing when I came back up there nearly a year later. I hoped, once again, that what you once said was true - that at the core, there was still a chance.

all this time. you seemed to be doing just a little bit better and better with each passing day. and there was the problem. when you were down here, I had purpose. I was needed. if I was not needed, then there was no reason for someone who's life was getting better and better without me in it to ever want me back, especially if mine was growing more dim with the very same passing days. and that, they were. I went on a long trip out west to the ocean once more to try to forget the present, only to take home memories of how this would be so much better with you in my arms, watching the sun set over the bay, breathing in the cool sea air. I was missing you, still. there was no denying that.

this long and as im sure, most likely pointless recap bring to question Why?Why did I lash out once more? What made me bring the daggers out and start stabbing you?

Because you're happy without me, and I hate everything about this life without you.

nothing excuses the way I have acted the last few days, and there's no apology I can type, write or say that that you'll believe that makes up for what I've done at this point, the only path I can take now is to accept this and stay out of your life. for good. I really hate the fact it came to this, but I have no one to blame but me.

So, do what you must to keep me out.

I don't have to wish you luck - you'll make your own. you've survived a everything life has thrown at you it is, and you have good people you can count on. you're going be fine.

Goodbye, Sparky.

I love you.

A bunch of reasons, an excerpt from something I sent you, a couple of quotes, and a picture.

Why i love you


1 Your loyalty to me and everyone or everything that matters to you

2 Your selflessness when it has come to dealing with me

3 Your Patience. god you have been so patient when it comes to dealing with my hang ups

4 Your eyes that I can get lost in

5 Your confidence, strength, and integrity

6 Your hair

7 How you have been 100% honest, even when it hurt

8 Your kindness

9 The way you always try to help others

10 How you stand up for what you believe in

11 Your generosity

12 The fact you said "it" first

13 How you inspired me to see my life could be so much more

14 Your optimism, you always look for and find the positive in everything

15 The way you always encourage and believe in me

16 The fact that you know exactly where you are going in life and will do whatever it takes to get there

17 Your courage even in the face of adversity

18 Your boldness and independence

19 Your faithfulness and sense of honor

20 Your gentleness with me

21 How you are always understanding with me even though I sometimes don't deserve it

22 How much you and I share in common, as well as the things we differ on

23 The little things you do that you think I may not notice, but do

24 How you sometimes give up things you've wanted just for my benefit

25 Your taste in music, especially our shared tastes and the stuff you have introduced me to

26 How you always can make me laugh or smile even at times when I don't want to

27 Your zaniness and love of life

28 The fact that you know when to act like an adult and when to act like a kid

29 How you are always kind to animals

30 The fact that you aren't afraid to cry

31 How you try to help me

32 The way you hold me

33 The way you brighten up a room to me just by being there

34 How much you've taught me about life and myself

35 Your intelligence

36 Your zest for life

37 Your excellent people skills

38 Your soft spoken voice that says so much to me

39 Your craziness

40 The love you show me

41 How awesome you have been to my mom and gma

42 The fact you love pancakes

43 Your uniqueness - there is nobody else in the world like you and nobody will ever come close

44 Your leet Tony Hawk skills

45 The amazing new experiences that I've shared for the first time with you and only you

46 The way you make me feel about myself, even when my brain is out to get me

47 How you always tell me and show me often how much you love me

48 How you don't mind holding my hand or showing me affection

49 The way you kiss me and touch me and how I can never get enough of it

50 The fact that you were willing to take a chance on me

51 The thoughtful gifts you've given to me

52 The heart-touching txts and pictures you've sent for me

53 The way you've opened up your heart and life to me

54 The fact that I learn new things about you everyday

55 The way you look at me that makes me melt inside

56 How you always try to bring out the best in me

57 How you never take life for granted

58 The way you always inspire me

59 The fact that you are as much of a dreamer as me

60 The fact that i feel you are my true soulmate and how i have honestly never felt that ever in my life

61 The way that you know how to not take life too seriously and live for the moment

62 How forgiving you are

63 Your incredibly big heart

64 How you always know what to say and how to say it in any situation

65 The way you always seem to be able to read my mind

66 Your extreme patience with me even when I push it to the limit sometimes

67 Your wit and wisdom

68 How you always comfort me or give me a shoulder to cry on when I need it

69 How I know you'll always be here for me through good times and bad no matter what

70 The fact that I know you are 'the one' for me

71 Your uniqueness - there is nobody else in the world like you and nobody will ever come close

72 How beautiful you are, even when you don't think you are

73 Your determination and conviction and how once you set your mind on something that nobody can change it

74 Your incredible dreams and visions for our future that will come true

75 How much you know about me now and that you've seen both my good sides and bad and that you still love me anyway

76 How much excitement you bring into my life everyday - you're not afraid to take risks

77 The Potential you see in me - Especially when I can't see it myself

78 The fact that now I know what love is, that you are the person who I have wanted to love all my life, and the first person who has ever truly loved me.


---

Love, true love, is the only thing I can put any measure of faith in. The ability to have that intimate, intense passion for another person is so crucial if this world is ever going continue thriving because in the end, It is the only true reason to live. Love is the difference between a sated and a unfufilled life. I have thirsted for what you can provide me for so long. With the taste of you on my tongue, especially after such a long drought, I cannot help but want to drink you deep. Even as love makes desperate fools of us all, it is not desperation or foolishness I will claim that leads me here.

No, not desperation at all. It is desire. Desire to keep the searing flame of love alight that rages within me that you set ablaze. I ache to quench your thirsts, fuel your fires, satisfy your every want as you do mine. desire to feel a total completeness with you. I hunger to draw out from within that smile, your soft laugh, the playful glint as your eyes meet with mine, holding within you secrets. It is with unwavering, raw, and charged emotion that drives me to want to see another day start and end, with you, every day.

I can neither sway the seasons, nor turn back the tide, I cannot stop the spin of our world on its axis or ask time to stand still. I cannot Write a song, paint, take a picture, or even voice the right string of words when I am with you sometimes. But I can, and I will, here, in this place, say as loudly as my keyboard will allow: That I have, can, will, and do completley Love you, as deeply as one can love another.



---

"I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion. I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more. I could be martyred for my Religion. Love is my religion. I could die for that. I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet. [...]I cannot breathe without you."

- John Keats



"Love is a sweet tyrant
because the lover endures the torments willingly."
-Niphas






Happy Valentine's day, Robin. I Hope that you see this.


Michael




Let's unite tonight
We shouldn't fight
Embrace you tight
Let's unite tonight

I found a story I wrote when I was 15. you decide whether or not I should put it up.

Rebuild. Redesign. Reforge. Reload.

Defend. Dominate. Destroy.

Unyielding. Unafraid.

Conquering.

View the source

Stand aware, Citizens.

There are subversives at work who wish to dissuade you from the truth. By way of spreading lies about our glorius nation, these undesirables seep into our collective subconsciousness and erode away our very beliefs, seeking to multiply like virii in a healthy human host. These detractors from freedom would have you believe that all the we have taken to ensure your continued safety against those who would do us harm have some sort of wide-spanning conspiracy theory. Let me be the first to tell you that this very notion is perposterous and outright treason! These rogue elements will soon be dealt with soon enough, I have it on very good authority.
In the meantime, we can all do our part. remember the old adage "Think globally, act locally"? well, you can do just that by helping out in your own neighborhood. For the career-minded, Volunteer service is a great start if your looking to join "the Best of the Best".

We are the Chosen, and this rough spot will soon behind us.

Be safe. Be aware.

The wool's being pulled over your eyes. We're all fucked.

Stop drinking from the faucet and see for yourself.

It may be the last thing we may do.

- .... .. ... | .. ... | ..-. .- -. ..-. .. -.-. | --..-- | | ... --- | -.. --- -. | - | --. . - | -.-- --- ..- .-. | .--. .- -. - .. . ... | .. -. | .- | -... ..- -. -.-. .... | ..--.. | | -.-. --- -. ..-. ..- ... . -.. | | .. | .-.. .-.. | . -..- .--. .-.. .- .. -. | ... --- --- -. | . -. --- ..- --. .... | .. ..-. | -.-- --- ..- | .... .- ...- . -. | - | ..-. .. --. ..- .-. . -.. | .. - | --- ..- - | .- .-.. .-. . .- -.. -.-- | ..--.. |

As you as my witness

If this is how it is...


Then

I'm killing myself at 30

For this was not what I was meant to be



I had a future

I had a plan

And it's gone


You Think i'm not serious?

Then you watch and see

You watch and see

Creative writing
You really suck at it, Mike
Bring back teh funnay.

I'm really sorry
WoW and work dominates me
Update coming soon.

I honestly thought

At one time

I would be further along in life

Than where i am now

It was so close

And now

So far away......


No one to blame

But me

Step back and see

All this progress

And blood

Still remaining

Too far gone

I'm living

but not really alive

Nothing you haven't heard before

Just a reflection
Just a glimpse
Just a little reminder
Of all the what abouts
And all the might have
Could have beens
Another day
Some other way
But not another reason to continue
And now you're one of us
The wretched

The hopes and prays
The better days
The far aways
Forget it

It didn\'t turn out the way you wanted it to
It didn\'t turn out the way you wanted it, did it?
It didn\'t turn out the way you wanted it to
It didn\'t turn out the way you wanted it, did it?

Now
You know
This is what it feels like
Now
You know
This is what it feels like

The clouds will part and the sky cracks open
And god himself will reach his fucking arm through
Just to push you down
Just to hold you down
Stuck in this hole with the shit and the piss
And it's hard to believe it could come down to this
Back at the beginning
Sinking
Spinning

And in the end
We still pretend
The time we spend
Not knowning when
You're finally free
And you could be
But it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to
It didn't turn out quite the way that you wanted it

Now
You know
This is what it feels like
Now
You know
This is what it feels like

Now
Now you know
You know
This is what it feels like
This is what it feels like
Now
You know
This is what it feels like
You can try to stop it but it keeps on coming
You can try to stop it but it

the wretched, Nine inch nails

breathe

choke

breathe

pointless.

You wouldn't get it anyway.

of all nights, why tonight? if fact, why this weekend? words i needed to hear for years said. a pair of simple words uttered.

A whole belief structure, smashed apart.

a life... lives, could be so different.

I've destroyed so much, and now, a pair of words fixes it?

it fixes the cause.

it does not fix the effects.

i have so much to do.
so much to be sorry for.
so much i have robbed myself of.
so much i want back.

i'm sorry, this isn't a short story or anything like i've been wanting to write. and this is not something i am completely comfortable discussing with everyone.

So much ground to cover, and no time.

the latin phrase truely fits me now more than ever.

This Path
so cold
and familar



Quod me nutrit me destruit

I believed in you

When you had your doubts

i can't stop bleeding




you'd better pray that I never heal

Keep Stabbing



I'm begging you

where does the time go
too long since i remember
who i really was

I can write you a thousand times, but it ends up the same
And now
I’m supposed to smile
And talk roses
While I think of gravestones

"I love romance. I love the very notion that a guy and a gal can fall in love. you see, though, the real world, it dosen't take too kindly to the fairy-tale idea of love. Where is the other half? where is the faulted one? there's always that one that dosen't get that mythical American aream-you know, the wife, the two point five kids, the white picket fence? the posh yet not overbearing job that manages to provide? Where's that guy? I'll tell you. He's usually penned as the jealous ex-lover who, if you believe the movies, is the bad guy. there needs to be a novel about the one who was left behind. an antimance, if you'll forgive my bastardization of the words. a novel about the bad guy who is genuinely remorseful about the wrongs he did. Maybe that guy, just maybe-don't get me wrong, there's a ton of nutjobs out there-that guy believes so much in the very idea of lvoe that he dosen't leave it so easily. thick, thin, whatever. things happen. but love isn't something you wash off like dirt. it stays with you, forever."

"you're making no sense, pal."

"I imagine not."

"No, really. What makes your story so special? there's millions of jilted lovers out there."

"granted. they also go on and find someone else to assuage thier feelings. they forget. mostpeople are trained to do so-ou know, the whole "there's other fish in the sea" thing."

"It's true, you know."

"I don't believe that for a second. I believe you find people you speak the word to; ignorant of it's true meaning, it's absolute connotation, until you find the person you can't dream of being without. that person who, above all else, it your absolute everything to you. the person who, if they told you not to eat, you'd starve yourself to death. not your first time, and not the first serious relationship-the first person who never tries to change you-or you, her. the one who you see yoruself further down the road than next week."

"That's somewhat psychotic, if you ask me."

"I expect as much. I also expect you find love based upon more material things."

"who are you to be making that kind of judgement? YOu just sound like some sorry-assed broken-hearted fool who put too much trust in the wrong one. the right one's out there-it just takes time to find them."

"And i say i've taken enough time to find the one. and i also say i have lost that one person. and thirdly, i say, there is no better offer coming down the pipe."

"You're just too cynical. you have been since the day i met you."

"With good reason."

"what's that?"

"most that have reached my age haven't thrown away all thier chances."

"Then you don't truely grieve for the girl-you grieve for the loss of your chance, as it were."

"I grieve her. not the chance."

"and i say bullshit."

"And i say you have no idea what it's like to be the bad one in a relationship. I'll bet you've always been the one wronged. they always cheated on you, they always left you for someone you percieved as 'better' than you in some form. You've never been on the other side; you've never held someone in high standing and at the same time, be so scared of it that you end up destroying it. even if you have miraciously done such a thing, i'll bet you've never felt sorrow over it. if you really did, you would have done killed yourself by now."

"That begs the question stranger. why haven't you?"

"Because I still hope."

"hope for what? from what you've told me, there looks to be none left."

"that's where anyone else would give up. And that's where i'll keep standing there. I've bled too much over my own mistakes already, that to walk away from it now, would essentially make it all for naught."

"okay, but how much can you bleed for something?"

"as much as it takes. That's what love is- or is supposed to be about."

"Well, i think you're just nuts, and this woman needs to keep as far away from you as possible. and you need professional help."

"have you ever read Keats?"

"Who?"

"someone who knows more than i do about these matters than i can pretend to. good day."

Because we were once
Becuase I was alive then
Becuase You loved me

the bright and shiny veneer is failing. The Center will not hold any longer. The pain cannot hide behind a false smile anymore. It was a honorable fight, but one that was ultimately in vain. everyone in the end will leave, For you are far too broken. you have nothing else to cling onto, boy.

it's time to come back to me.

you can't start it over. no one has any reason to give you a chance anymore. all that did you fucked and burned. You couldn't even control yourself when you were happy and not fucking everything up with your pissy ass sunshine emotions. I still came through. you didn't think you could keep me out forever, did you?

I'm the only chance you got.

I was there before her, and you tried to smother me with all you had. you Choked me, Beat me, and then Locked and Leashed me when you figured out i wasn't going to die. I'd never tell you, but you almost had me. What if i did give up on you? who would you have turned to then, You Goddamn Trainwreck? Who listened to you in the middle of the night when you Cried? Who really offered to pull you up? Who can take all of this away?

Me. Only Me. And you know it, you fucking failure.

Oh? You going to cry now? Do you STILL miss her? Get over it you fucking retard. She's Done and moved on. You're FORGOTTEN. Remember what that's like? oh yes you do you fucking liar. Just like all the other times that were and that will be if you keep up with this bullshit. I'm all you got now if you plan on to continue living. I can feel your heart beating faster. You don't want to read this. well guess what? I'm going nowhere, and i'm going to keep saying this until you get rid of that stupid fucking idea that you can be something anymore.

You know who is right, and it isn't you anymore. i can feel that thing inside you about to explode that will let me out.

You know you want me. or else you wouldn't be writing this.

You want me out Becuase I'll make you better. I'll make sure no one ever hurts you again. you'll never be ugly ever again. You won't have to depend on chemicals or food to comfort you. You can feel Proud once more. Confident. Sexy. Smart. In control.

Go. Go look at yourself. see what i see right now. feel my shame. feel my hurt by knowing what you once were and what you can be, and you resist me. Where did Love ever get you? Did i ever Make you a casuality?

It's Time to come back to me, and you know it. No one likes you like this. They talk behind your back. Tell stories about the one who had it all and then fucked it up like a spoiled little brat who breaks his toy and expects another. they cross thier hearts and pray at night they don't end up like the failure you are. Do you really Still want to be a Good example of what NOT to do?

you goddamned piece of shit. Stop resisting me. You have no faith, an empty future, and nothing left to lose because nobody loves you anymore.

I can make that all go away, and you might as well. becuase if you don't let me in, you'll continue to have nothing. At least with me, you can be something once again. It'll take time, but we can get you back to where you were before. but when you get there, boyo... You'll be a totally different example.

Now go to bed. Sleep. Dream of what you will be with me with you. dream of the possibilities.

They Talked for a long while. much to her distaste, he never went back to the subject of his name. After a dinner of Canned Beans and Spam, he creeped up the basement stairs, checking out a window for the undead prowlers. it was almost light. they were out there, mulling around aimlessly. occasionally a squabble broke out over which walking corpse got whichever stray animal they had happened upon.

back down the basement stairs, he shed the heavy denim jacket, then shed the heavy flannel shirt, letting them fall into a crumple on the concrete floor.

"we should get to sleep. Better to sleep durling daylight and move around the house at night." he turned away, looking towards the couch across from the stairway.

"what's that?" her eyes roamed over his bared flesh, spotting a odd wound on the back of his arm.

"got cut by a rioter. got me good. Took forever to find thread to stitch it up with."

"let me have a look at it." She rose towards him, as he moved to the couch.

"it's nothing. I took care of it Weeks ago."

"Why haven't you pulled the stiches out then? Let me see it..."

Reluctantly, he twisted and held out his right arm, showing a stich-job a Mortician would be embarrassed about.

"Good God! how long have these stiches been in there?"

"I dunno, About a month maybe."

"A Month?!?" she hissed. Didn't want to get too loud. She went over to fetch out a pair of scissors from the household aid kit and the propane lamp. "we gotta get those things out now. hold still." She twisted his arm out a bit more.

"it's still healing. It hurts every once in a while, when i brush against it wrong."

"the actual slice is done healing. this stichjob is most likely causing an infection from leaving the thread in too long. Ever seen what happens to a Splinter when you leave it in the skin?" the scissors began slicing through the thread. he bit his lip as the mere irritation of the stiches was causing him some discomfort.

"no. I usually yank them out the moment i get them." He saw in her eyes that was the wrong thing to say.

"then why didn't you yank these out sooner?"

"Most likely Becuase I've not had the time." he spoke through gnashed teeth, as a pair of tweezers began pulling the bloody and pussy threads out of his skin.

"we're gonna have to drain this. Sorry it hurts so, but you should have known better." her maternal instincts were grating on his nerves.

once the stiches were out, she pressed upon the wound, the threadholes ejecting more pus from the inflamed scar tissue. he nearly swung out when she dumped Peroxide on the area.

"there..." putting on the gauze. "all done. i'll feel better in no time."

"thanks, Doctor." he smirked dryly as he laid down. "I'm gonna grab some rest."

he slept well for most of the day, although it was a light sleep. the sound of her restful breathing made it's way into his dreams, Bringing him a sense of relaxation by just being around someone else who was actually alive.

just as her steady breathing made it's way into his sleep, so did a dull thumping sound... and a Hand Grasping hard at his shoulders...

...Smacking the Unwelcome Guest in the shoulder.

"shit. Bottle's throwing off my aim."

he took aim again, compensating for the interference that the makeshift silencer. this time, the bullet caught the scourge right where it counted, felling the beast.

He took twelve more shots, swapping out a clip as the bottle kept trowing off his aim. On the thirteenth shot, the Dead's attention was caught by the loud, barely muffled crack that the .22 put off.

the dead on the street were turning about, having been stimulated by the newsest stimuli that registered in thier rotting senses.

"time to move, if i'm going to do this."

He gathered his backpack, stuffed to the brim with all that he had garnered at his stay at the house, and slid down the bannister, hopping off just before hitting the knobbed end. grabbing a nine iron he found in one of the closets, he made way for the patio door in the kitchen, which at the moment was absent of any intruders.

Opening the door, he stepped out into the moonlit night, scanning the immedate area for any of the shambling figures. he saw one, off to his left in an adjacent yard, moving his way. He peeled to the right, and moved through the two houses and out into the street.

looking down the street as he crossed, he saw a swarm of more of them down the four-way, which meant far enough for now. But if he lingered much longer, they would catch his scent and fall upon him like vultures on a carcass. heeled boot met subburban pavement as he streaked across the street. heading to the house who's asses he just saved, taking only the slightest moments to vault the chain-link fence that had once kept fido in.

up the steps, and he was pounding on the door.

"let me in! I'm here to help!"

A feminine voice retorted. "Fuck off and go away!"

"goddamnit! I'm from across the street!"

"most likely robbing the houses, I'll bet!"


"I just popped the Zombies that were heading your way! Now Let me in, or i'll find a way in! We dont' have much time till more come!"

"around the Left side. there's a Window, With an A/C unit next to it."

he scampered off to the left, dodging another that had came up, giving it a good whack to the head. As the voice said, there was a Trane Right next to a window a bit too high off the gound for anyone on the ground to climb into. He heaved himself onto the A/C unit, and put a fist to the window.

"Let me in!"

the window slid open.. and he was met with a wide, longbarrelled gun.

"you with the gangs?"

"Jesus christ, No! I'm a runner from the city!"

"how do i know you're not lyin to me?"

He took off his Backpack, and slung it into to darkened window. "If i was lyin, I would have shot you by now. My gun's in there, As is everythign else i own."

The Barrel Moved away, but as he climbed in, He was halted by a hard poke from the darkness. "Hold on. I'll tell you when you can come in."

"Don't wait too long, or else we're gonna have company."

Moments passed by, and just as he thought, The Packs started to gather. Acting upon some kind of group recollection of where there was last food, the horde he saw down the street had moved down to where he had stood on the pavement. they hadn't yet figured out where he moved, but another half-minute would be all they need, especially if whoever the hells was inside this house took thier time.

"hurry up!" he hissed. "they're right here!"

A slender hand came through the moon-basked window, and not a moment too soon. He grabbed onto it, his calloused hand meeting hers, and hurled himself into the portal, and with an almost too loud shutting, the glass portal had been shut.

recovering himself from the sudden thrust, he looked about the room. there wasn't much too see, as it was dark.

"as it should have been," he thought to himself "if they wanted to stay out of sight."


An awkward silence followed, as both him and the female peeked out the window to see of any figures were meandering between the house they stood in and the next-door house.

"well, only one ot two saw you, and they aren't making enough of a ruckus to bring the rest of the pack here." The WOman stated. "Now, Mind telling me why you are here?"

He Stood there. Why did he come over? Companionship? Sympathy? Hatred for those damned things that roamed freely? why did he come over? he didn't know himself.

but he spoke matter-of-factly, anyways.

"i shot the ones you flashed over with your light. figured you needed help."

"I was trying to See if anyone at 906 was still there. Someone was there a few days ago." As she spoke, he tried to make out the figure before him. Not much to be told, as there was(thankfully) No light in here. But he could tell she was a lithe figure, almost boyish, were it not for the moonlit fleshy lumps he saw as he was reeled into the house. No Buxom blonde, but at least it wasn't some survivalist old man who predicted the end of the world or the overthrown of the government.

Not that the government existed anymore to the common man anymore, anyways.

The tanktopped woman braved the moonlight, and stepped forward, illumiating more of her features. She was younger then him, or at least looked better for her age than he did. Pert, Lively, and more importantly, Healthy. No bite marks, scratches, or pale color as far as he could see.

His concrete voice spoke again. "there was somone alive at 906? this place looked dead when i came through. thought everyone had peeled out or was... not quite alive."

"I had a friend who went over there to check for food." Her inflection noted that it wasn't just a 'friend'.

"how long have they been over there?"

"three days."

"most likely dead." he said offhandedly. He had seen enough of his personal circle to know better than hope.

She obviously hadn't. "He's still alive! Don't you fucking say that!"

"Look, no offense, But you're better off thinking him dead than otherwise." his jaw ground down a bit. playing the role of comforter was not his best suit.

"he's still alive! I know it! he just got pinned down when a whole bunch of them came 'round!"

he put a grimy finger to her lips. "you've been here, what, three days? I'm not saying he's gone, but there's no telling what's happened to him. going out there is dangerous." he sighed. " I shouldn't have done it, myself. But you're the first person i've seen in about five days, myself. Guess i needed the company."

her defensive pose gave way to a more Sublime acceptance, showing a certain happiness that someone else was there.

"Follow me." she said. "there's a basement, and there's no windows."

Grabbing the Backpack, He followed her through the house, on his way making a mental check of the defenses of the house. Doors were barred up, a bit better than what he did at his temporary occupation. either her or her "friend" had some knowledge of keeping people out. ground windows had some kind of wood over them, and there was at least an entrance/exit, as determined by his entrance into the house. He felt safe here, at least, safer than what he felt in the former house.

down a pair of stairs, me was met with a low-burning lamp affixed to a disposable propane tank.

"John said that the basement was best. No windows, and only one way in that can be barred shut."

"only one way out though, if they get in." he muttered without thinking.

She started to say something, but he cut in. "Safer than where i was, though. Damn place was made of Glass, i tell ya."

"well, the Stinsons were more known for Form than for thier Functionality." she grimaced.


"Stinson, as if Professor Stinson?"

"Yeah. Local Boy, huh?"

"Not really. Just know the name. Lived near the college, Enjoying the slacker life. Went there for a while, just enough to know better i guess." he gave a near-mirthless chuckle.

She obliged him with a kind laugh in return. "yeah. I grew up around here. Was in my first year of internship At Jones hospital. kind of a family thing... " she trailed off. from the guess of it, her family were most likely a pair of doctors of some sort, having both went to college, acquiring degrees, working at the same hospital. And, sadly, probably one of the first to have been exposed to whatever was going on with...with whatever the fuck was going on.

"i'm a bit north of here. small town place." In the back of his head, he knew that his Jarhead cousin was holding down the fort. that is, if he hadn't got the patriotic idea to help his fellow man and decided to voluntarily man one of the military roadblocks. those things ended up a Charnel House.

"yeah," she spoke. he actually paid attention to her for once. the gleaming color of her eyes in the lamplight, the voluble arch of her legs, the milkcream skin that hid underneath the dusting of grime, the lackadaisical way her golden brown bangs moved with a twist of her neck. there was a beauty there, and that comforted him. it'd So long since he saw something in this world that was beautiful. So beautiful... in all this decay.

" anyways, i' m sorry, we've not even met. my name's-" her next words were drowned out by the thoughts running through his head. Decay. Death. Destruction. Those bringing him back to the cold, hard reality of now. this was a war. God's war? Satan's War? Who knows? who Cares? It Was here, and they were a part of it.

"what's yours?"

he snapped to, imbitter and alert, to her next words.

"does it matter?"

on the pillow, he thought about the day. it would be like the last one, like the last one was, and the one before, and the one before. Get up. check the shoddily-erected barricades. stay out of sight. try not to make too much noise. Scrounge around for anything else he might have overlooked. day in, day out.

"well," he thought. "no use putting it off any longer."

he moved around the house during the night. it was easy once he learned how to navigate the place in the dark. Lights in the dark attracted them like flies to shit, and moving around the house wasn't too smart either. if One just happened to take note of movement through a window, it's make enough of a racket to call down hundreds more. If you've ever smelled the dead, one is enough. ten to twenty of them at your front door banging on it is enough to make one vomit. That is, if you're not already shitting yourself in the fear that those nails in the boards just might not be enough.

Moving around the day wasn't much better. It took balls, a light foot, and a face-to-face relationship with the floor. Taking twenty minutes to move from the bed down the stairs, past the livingroom, to the kitchen(why did the previous owners have to have that goddamned windowed patio door?) to get some canned carrots and crackers makes you put off those stomach pangs just a bit longer. at least until sundown.

He got stuck here in this ill-fortified house. The Last owners thought that if they threw enough money at the right people, they could get thier own personal police detail. it worked for a while, right up till the rest of the Valley got swarmed by the outpour of the Dead from the nearby College town that followed out the last of the refugees from said college town. He was one of those stragglers. Having found a nice rooftop with a defendable stairway,

He had built a lean-to out of what pieces of furniture there was in the dorm room complex. It could have been easier fi perhaps he would have settled for one of the dorm rooms, but those things were deathtraps once the shit hit the fan. Some kid Scored some white Horse, went to his girl's dorm, got high and fucked. Kid OD's, Comes back, eats her out in the literal Sense. Girl's Roomies found them, got bit, and the rest of the dormitory became a smogasboard.

So the story goes.

It had started getting colder, and the lean-to wasn't going to last the harsh Winter. So he went on the move, having armed himself With a .22 peashooter and as many rounds he could score for the two half-gallons of Rum he scavenged. He had his father's 12 gauge(sawed off so it's fit a backback), but not too many rounds left for them. At least with the rifle, ammo was more plentiful and traded more easily. On the way out of the city, He managed to lift a Nine and two clips off some would-be who looked like he tried to knock over Wal-mart crawling with the dead. it wasn't much, but it would keep the .22 stock from depleting. If nothing else, he'd rather chew on a short barrel than a long one if push came to shove.

with all that, and anythign else he could stash in a backpack, he set off out of the city, thinking he could hole up in some farmhouse's barnloft or something. at least out in the country, the dead were more spread out.

"i would've made it, too.", he cursed himself. "Shouldn't have stopped here for a food run."

slowly, he slinked back up the stairs in the dark, just like he did for the past five days, just out of sight of the figures shambling across the lawn, heading for the house across the street. Whoever was over there made a horrible mistake: for whatever desperate reason, They were using a flashlight to signal to someone on his side of the street. it caught the attention of the wrong set of eyes, and that one Was already over the chain link fence, crawling it's way to the door.

Watching the scene unfold from a bedroom window, he tore off a piece of duct Tape and taped a bottle stuffed with Paper Towels onto the end of the rifle. he'd made it a couple of days ago while bored in the townhouse. It wouldn't last much more than maybe ten rounds, but hopefully ten rounds would be all he need before they would get the hint and turn off the damn light.

Cracking open the window, the plastic bottle leveled at the closest one to the inept 'neighbors' Door.

"Please god, let it be a busty Woman, like in the movies."

And the first muffled Shot rang out...