2007 approaches. Here is a list of things I'm looking forward to.

New Muzak:

nine inch nails(CD and DVD)
Massive Attack
The Rentals
Portishead(i'm really hoping here)

New Games:

Burning Crusade
God of War 2
Half Life 2: Episode 2
SPORE

New moving picktures:

Resident evil: Extinction
Day of the Dead remake
Ghost Rider
Spriderman 3
300
Sin City 2


That's all for now.


You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today

Just a Quick update. going to write a good one later, but for those of you who don't read Fark or Digg, take a look at this story(Warning: leg woud picture in article) about how much of a sack of assholes this town is acting over the thought of losing thier precious "tradition".

Humanity. What a gyp.


If you're really interested, Here is the city website's Feedback form.





We care a lot

Nearly three weeks without an update. and now one that maybe three of you will give a damn about.

It's The Feast of Winter Veil in Azeroth, and I'll be damned if I haven't been trying to earn a [High Warlord's Pig Sticker] for my toon just in time for Xmas. Before the latest content patch, this was going to be nigh impossible, as it cost a pretty penny, and required you to earn the PvP rank of high warlord on your specific server. I tended to rank usually in the top 100(out of aprox. 4600 horde players) depending on how much I decided to PvP. Basically, to get High warlord status, I was going to have to win Every Battleground I entered, and slaughter the entire Alliance population four times over, and hope no one else did the same thing.

Now with the content patch, it's actually easier to get said weapon, as you only need a certain amount of honor points. Unfortunately, honor points are no longer given out like condoms at college. In the old days, winning a Alterac Valley Battleground would get you somewhere around 3000 honor points, plus whatever points you got for killing Alliance. now you get maybe 200-300 per win, plus whatever you get for killing(if you're lucky, you might ill a grand marshal and get 8 honor points, but usually you get a peon that's only worth 1 or 2 points). But The Honor system isn't really what I want to complain about. Nevermind the fact that I ran AV till I was sick of it, and then ran it some more to get exhalted status with Frostwolf Clan which now means two things in WoW: jack and shit, I'm cool with that. I can deal.

My Beef is with whatever jackass who decided to put Hardpacked Snowballs in the AV Battleground. Jesus H. Christ, This was a horrible idea. Hardpacked snowballs are an item that when thrown, can knock a player around. The idea was that a player can punish another team member who is sitting around with a thumb up thier ass, not participating in battle and just leeching honor points. The road to Hell Is paved with good intentions.

Let me try to explain for those of you who don't play.

In AV, one of the most stratgetic points of the game is Stormpike Graveyard, which is a respawn point initally for the Alliance. in order for Horde to win, horde has to take Stormpike in order to have a respawn point closeby to assault Dun Baldar. As you can see by looking at the map, There are two roads near Stormpike, A low road and a high road. The low road, though it leads directly to Stormpike, is a chokepoint, usually clogged with Alliance killing any Horde stupid enough to go that route.

This leaves the relatively undefended high road as the Logical choice. Once you get to the bend in the high road, can split off and hide behind the mountain or at Irondeep Mine, group up and charge into the Graveyard(hopefully taking it). The Bend in the road also offers a good recon Point to scope out how many are defending the Graveyard. Or if you're ballsy enough, you can drop down right into Stormpike and charge in, most likely resulting in getting pack-raped if no one else goes with you.

The problem, is that there are Horde members who are absolute fucktards. These Special Ed rejects camp out on the high road and pelt passing team members with hardpacked snowballs, which sends them flying down into Stormpike GY. Now, not only is the snowballed person not where they were going to set up for the group attack, but they have now taken on Falling damage and lost about half thier health. they are now about a half-second away from the aforemented alliance pack-rape.

All because some cocksucking horsefucker thinks team-killing is funny.

These are most likely the same dipshits that would lob a grenade into thier own team in Counter-strike. I'd be less incensed about this if the Alliance had a similar problem at Frostwolf Graveyard, but Frostwolf lays on relatively flat land, so there's not really an alliance equivalant to this particular form of griefing.

Well, I've dorked out enough. I just had to vent about this.



The kitchen scene is damp and sticky
They're lined up at the keg of PBR

Quick and dirty. Cause that's how I roll, yo.

When I'm not rotting my brain out with World Of Warcraft or Urban Dead, or getting distracted by other things on the internet, I like to read zombie fiction. I have to be specific because I don't really do much in the way of reading other genre-specific types of fanfic. I tend to spend a lot of time in the fiction section of HPOTD. recently a link came across the main page that caught my interest to which I could only describe as real-time fiction. It was long, entertaining(remember, I dork out over this kind of stuff) and has a kick ass ambient soundtrack. If you're into horror/survival fiction, check out Alpha_Dog. lot of stuff to read, and I linked you to the start.

(EDIT: Here is the BGM, from the main site. Mind the popups, they come standard with most .tk domains. Keeps it free and all that.)

Also, for the UrbEx/Retail historian out there, a plug for Dead Malls. Ahh, the scent of retail decay just stimulates me.

Breaking from theme for a moment; Hey Santa: Bring me a set of these for my chess table. and while I'm at it, I'd also like a pony(actually, a War Elephant would be better), a harem full of (hot)women and scotch, a complete Epic PvP armor set and a legendary polearm for my Orc toon so I can continue to kick ass in my little imaginary world.

As for this weekend, I don't really have much planned. Not that I usually do, but this weekend being what it is... I'm just kinda blah about it in general. But if anyone's feeling frisky, ring me and we'll see what we can tear apart. or maybe, play some Stratego(does ANYONE have all the pieces?). Or Risk. Or spades if we can find enough fucking people.

I was lookin' back to see
If you were lookin' back at me
To see me lookin' back at you

Guilty Party removed, added.

Lack of updates, I know. and I also know I do say the following a lot too, but I got a couple things I've been working on to throw up in the next few days. I think you will enjoy at least one of them.

First off, a tactically late, but none the less great, shoutout to The Murr-vegas all Stars, who did a hell of a show at Tman and Sarah's reception. I don't think there was one person in attendance who didn't like the show. They also allowed a rather inebriated Livingdead to sit in with them after the show and listen to them talk about the particulars of past shows and upcoming gigs they were looking forward to. I threw in my own "hardball" questions. such as "What were your influences growing up?" and "Would you ever consider playing carbondale?" I also remmeber making a comment or two about the racial demographics of Franklin County, and hearing there is a similar one in Kentucky. While I was genuinely interested in hearing thier backstory and everything, it mostly served as a next-day notice that I need to quit thinking I'm some kind of Journalist/Social Scientist when I'm very drunk.

While on the subject of the reception, here's a "Die in a fire" to the two drunk douchnozzles who tried to crash the reception for free beer and food. Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking? I kinda know one of them, and I can say I wasn't much of a fan prior to this, anyhow. You, sirs, are no Vince Vaughn. teh Funnay happened when they acted all indignant when they got the boot, like they had some kind of right to be there.

Anyway, Good times ensued. I remember actually laughing and living it up with all my friends, which I hadn't been able to do and properly enjoy in quite a while. Also, acting all svelte around one particular attendant and having even more conversations, being gentlemanly, and not looking chestward too many times. Oh, if only you could have seen me later, passed out over the bathtub, probably mumbling something like "I'm so going to Blog about this!"

Enough of the expose(insert backwards ` thing here). Suffice to say it was a great time.



And what you've wanted
Is something I bleed

Getting bombed by blog spam.

Comments are now on a Approve/Deny Basis until i can figure something else out.

I just realized it's been three years since I starting doing this.

How much have things changed.

I don't have much interesting to say. or at least, nothing you haven't heard before.


So I'm going to be lazy and do this. Maybe something funny or happy after I get back from Tman and Sarah's Wedding.


No more gold lights
For the queen earth
To keep you warm
In your kingdoms
High on the waves you make for us
But not since you left have the waves come
The bar is dead
And the rocket's rain is keeping you wet
In your deathbed

So high on the waves you made for us
And not since you left have the waves come

High on the waves you made for us
Not since you left have the waves come
Have the waves come
Have the waves come.



Deftones - Anniversary Of An Uninsteresting Event

Guilty party and Linkage added.

Yeah, bang up job on my end of retelling the super west cost death trip, I know. Brandocrap told it better than I ever could. We'll let it stand at that. My tale remains unfinished for now. I'm good at that. Leaving things unfinished. That, and not realizing when the end has come. oh, that "other news" I alluded to some time ago-you can just nevermind that.

I've been distracted with other things in my head and in real life lately, so not much else to say right now.

Sorry for the lack of updates. Too much shit to think about and no stories worth putting up.

I hate this time of the year.



Not only do i not know the answer
I don't even know what the question is

(Super West Coast Death Trip: Retold. A continuing collaboration between Me and Brandocrap.)

Kingsburg, CA.

Made it here Safe and sound. Had a late night in Flagstaff on the internets and sitting in the hotel lobby eating potted meat, cheese and crackers out of my mess kit. We stocked up on water and car stuff in Kingman, AZ, then grabbed a quick bite of potted meat, cheese, and fruit cocktail. We brought a cooler full of food(and a satchel full of canned food) to cut down on food stops, and in the event of worst-case scenario, we also brought a tent and other camping supplies, the most treasured of the camping gear being being Papa Jones' pocket knife, as it conferred a feeling that I finally made the hallowed ranks of being considered "The third Jones boy".

When we left Flagstaff, I was still amazed that arizona has trees, let alone a National forest. it was also something like 45 degrees when we left, so I put on a long-sleeve shirt and a t-thirt over that. as we were going along, the terrain did start to shift into something I was more expecting. When we stopped at the John Wilkie rest area in Cali, the temperature had doubled. I remember remarking to other people stopped at the rest area as I was stripping off the long sleeves "Bet you can tell i'm not from around here". I'm glad we choose October to Go through the Mojave, where it was only 90 degrees. The Mojave wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Brandocrap keeps talking about how desolate it is, and I keep telling him to wait till we get to Utah and Wyoming. at least this desolate has some pretty to it.

The closer we got to our destination, the weirder the conversations got(I think we recorded some of it), not to mention that brandocrap was getting really tired of hearing my rendition of "California Love". It was also somewhere around this time I discovered a neat feature on my camera which allowed me to take three pictures in rapid succession by holding down the button long enough, Meaning a better chance of getting a good picture. hooray for Technology!

Once we got to our hotel, it was Denny's(so much for getting the local treatment tonight, everything's closed) and a dinnerside treat to a ten minute thunderstorm, complete with the power going out. When Katy(my local contact) arrived, we made introductions and she asked us what we thought about the storm, informing us that it was the worst storm the area had seen in six months. for your information, This storm barely wet the ground and had a total of probably 30 flashes, and none of them came close to striking fear into our hearts like the ones at home can. so, we then went to Albertsons for a cheap as hell booze run(It was a good night to be a PBR fan). Naturally, after procuring dice and cards, Drinking games ensued. Yes, we drove 2200 miles to play a game of Three-man and Asshole.

Right now we're chilling at Katy's house, grabbing some breakfast before we figure out what we're going to do today. Probably be a low-key day, as we're planning to hit the Pacific tomorrow, then figure out which way we're going to go back thurday. Most likely jump up to 80, which means Utah and wyoming. Blech.

It's been a Beautiful drive to get here, and I'm glad I Scraped enough cash together to pull this off, and i'm also glad i did this while i'm relatively young. you wouldn't believe how many RV's we've seen on the remains of the Mother Road.

Will update again if I get a chance to before I hit home. Anyone who has my number is welcome to call if you're on our way home. At least I can wave as i'm going through your city.



Well, you can see a million miles tonight
but you can't get very far

(Super West Coast Death Trip: Retold. A collaboration between me and Brandocrap.)


Flagstaff, AZ.

Safe and sound so far. We fell behind on travel time last night from stopping in to see the Joplin crew and grabbing a bite at the ever delish J-Town(also, I have a girl bladder and piss every hour on the road, it seems). Ended up staying in a hotel in Weatherford, Oklahoma instead of Amarillo. Sorrys to Oblidarn that I didn't call. It was getting late and I figured you had to be up early in the morning. Up to this point, we have survived getting lost in the OKC area, conversations about what I'd do if I was a gazillionare, a weird concidence involving mandy.exe, and explaining to Brandocrap the ins-and-outs of bridging into a phone trunk line, or as people "in the know" at the time called it, the "CIL Party Line". We've Brought a Dictaphone to record some of the more "interesting" conversations when we think of it. Much like my smart decision to not start taking pictures until we got to texas, we have been a little lax in talking to the box every single moment. Nonetheless, to be a fly in these walls....


Texas was actually kinda cool, and not quite what I was expecting. I tried to Climb a hillock, and it was shall we say.... disasterous. Brandocrap made it to the top and took some cool pictures, but the hiking boots I had were a borrowed pair(and didn't fit at all), and I'm fat and I smoke. Also, I remember hearing about how texas is warm. I call bullshit, at least, your top half is a bit colder than I expected. oh, and this sign made me Crack up for a good ten minutes.

New Mexico was awesome to go through. Just as we got over the border, we stopped at a rest area, where as you may have already read, we resolved just what the fuck we were going to do on the trip. There was this hippie couple there that was broke down at the rest area and looking for money to try to get to somewhere on the east coast, I think. It dawned on me right then just how far away from home we were, and how easily that could be me and Brandocrap if things go wrong quickly. Minus the whole couple thing, naturally. NM was good to see during the day, for some reason, we didn't think of turning on Weird Al when we went through Albuquerque, instead, Brandocrap took a picture of his crotch.

We made it across the border to Arizona around sunset. Was suprised to see lots of trees along the highway, as it's not something I would think of seeing in AZ. this was also the point where the only tiff bewteen us happened, which basically involved me leaving my set of keys in the car while both of us were in the gas station. as I already said, it's dark, so we missed the Painted cliffs.

Tomorrow we make the final march to Fresno, where we will use as a jumping off point to the ultimate destination: The Pacific Ocean. Only one last thing stands in our path, and it's a doozy: The Mojave Desert. Once in fresno, We'll idle around for a couple of days(I think) before making our swing Home from Sacramento, going on 80 then droppiong onto 70 all the way back to STL(I think).

I'll update again when I get to Fresno to confirm return plans, and to assure everyone we haven't killed each other. Yet.

Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

You are so so very lucky, my dear readers. I started to post Warcraft Screenshots of my character doing various stupid things.

But I'll not bore you with such things, yet. Let us talk about other things.

A year ago, me and Brandocrap Went on a road trip. Pictures were taken, Audio was recorded, fates were decided my some form of a coinflip, and good times were had. But for the most part, we've been tight-lipped about the events that transpired during that week. Mostly becuase a lot of it is in-jokes and mostly boring stuff that nobody would probably find interesting(the term "Steakhouse" comes to mind, as an example).

But now, by way of a sort of collaboration, we're going to share what happens when you put two guys in a car together for a week.

During the trip, I made occasional updates to a chatsite I frequent, as NewBloodStudio had went down a week before I left, and I hadn't started my tenure at Bloghorn yet. I had later reposted the entries at bloghorn, but they have since been eaten by the internet version of the cookie monster. I recovered the orginals at SOI, but we'll get to them soon enough.

My story dosen't quite start yet, as I hadn't started making updates until we were well along the way. So for now, I can only Direct you to Brandocrap's site so you can get an idea of how things started. Later in the week, you'll get to hear my side of the trip, as I'm sure Brandocrap's recollections will stir nearly-forgotten memories. hopefully, that will be a good thing.

Either way, Pull out your Google Earth and Stay tuned, if road diaries with A/V supplements interest you.

In the meantime, Check out America in color and be thankful I didn't bore you with things of the highest dorkery.



Let's get up and leave this town

As you may know, there has been shit going on lately that I have been really been avoiding. Unfortunately, this week things have come to a head and I feel that there is no better way to address it than here, in front of all my loyal readers. You, of all people, deserve to know the truth. I don't really like doing this in such a public medium, but this is more important than my pride, and this just inadvertantly helps me by getting this off my chest.

so, here it goes...


I"m sorry.


You see, I'm the person responsible for North Korea testing Nuclear Weapons. Even though he dosen't talk about it on his journal, Me and him have a sort of... "history". We used to Hang out and watch movies all the time. It was usually fun, but for some reason he would always ask if we could watch "Sleepless in Seattle" or "28 days" and then try to cuddle on me. I wasn't such a fan of that, but just chalked it up to "cultural Differences", for the sake of friendship.


One day, we were getting ready to sit down and start a "Lethal Weapon" Marathon, and I showed him how to make a hamburger. Suddenly, he said he had to leave early and that we'll watch Mel and Danny "Next week, for sure."

Next thing I know, that jackass was back in Pyongyang saying HE invented it. Now, I'm no Bobby Flay and I certainly wouldn't claim to have invented the hamburger, but considering thati did show him how to do it, it certainly would have been nice to have him throw a little credit for showing him(I was a bit down on my luck at the time, what with the breakup with The Lady and everything).


From: "Mike Dame"
To: "Jong Kim" (juchemaster@gmail.com)

Dude, What the fuck? I'm hearing that you invented the hamburger?? I SHOWED YOU how to make one! Do you even know when the hamburger was created? You could at least mention me in your next press release!

P.S. We still on for Movie Night? I picked up a copy of "Memento", I think you'll like it.


Mike



From: "Jong Kim" (juchemaster@gmail.com)

Comrade, you are mistaken. I showed you how to make gogigyeopbbang. You need to get your facts straight before you go running off of your mouth. Anyway, I am busy this weekend and won't make movie night. besides, I saw Memento back when it was called "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me."

Pick another movie and if i can I'll show up next weekend.

your Comrade,

Il

P.S. "Sleepless".



From: "Mike Dame"

OMFG i'm not Watching that suckass movie with you again! If you would stop wearing your mother's combat boots, maybe you wouldn't get made fun of so much. and Twin Peaks sucked becuase the plot was all needlessly twisty. and you DIDN'T CREATE the Hamburger, fucktard, so stop saying that! people are making fun of you on the internet. goddamn! WTF has gotten into you?

Mike


From: "Jong Kim"

I think we need a break. You're still all hung up on that woman anyway and you're getting needlessly hostile towards me and my family. I'll call you in a few days.

P.S. Don't come by. The party will arrest you. I'm sorry, but my mom is a hero of the people and you can't insult her like that. I don't mind you talking trash to me about me, but you really should have left my mom out of it. Fatass.

P.P.S. The internet can suck my socialist balls.


From: Mike Dame
Attached file Checked and downloaded: jongsecks.jpg




go to Hell. You used me for my movies and Video games. you and your mom can go chug dick for all I care. I seriously needed your help and you spurned me. here's what i think about you buddy. Also, you're not socialist. Socialists don't inherit thier position of power from thier daddy. I wouldn't visit your damn country anyway, though I'm sure you'll make lots of other friends who will enjoy boiled rice and sawdust you low-rent rodney dangerfield suit wannabe. asshole. Also, good luck on your stupid science project. I Judged 6th grader's projects that were better than yours. Dickhead.




From: "Erasmus Thecat" (eraserthecat@gmail.com)

To: "Mike Dame"


Why is your friend Kim emailing me and asking me some weird questions about rocket kits? Did you refer him to me? I'm kinda busy with the Enron bankruptcy right now, but it's almost wrapped up. Do you know if he's good for the money? Normally I wouldn't work with him(he always kinda creeped me out) but I'm looking to get a new litterbox.

Let me know, okay?

Erasmus F. Thecat, Esq.

Internet Lawyer and Celebrity Porn Star Extraordinaire



As you can see, what started as a bit of a tiff rapidly turned into an all-out crisis.


So again, for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

But he really is a sack of assholes.



I never went to school
If I did I would have majored in killing

First off, congratulations to Unknunkie and RVZ.

My Grandmother(Gma in the hood) has long been a silent sufferer of my antics. Often, she would just look with slightly disinterested eyes and ask "what the fuck is wrong with you?" as I would do something undoubtedly stupid, such as running through the house(not always clothed), singing like I just became a member of Jonestown asking where the windex is. She makes up for this by hating everyone in the world, With the exception of three people:

1. Jason the ultra-conservative(and even then, she once thought that he, being about three years my senior, was suppling me with liquor when i was a freshmen in high school). She would often remark why I couldn't be more mild-mannered like him.

2. Bundy, who she liked because he was a "good 'ol boy", and that meant a lot for someone whose hometown was Olmsted. She would often remark why I couldn't me a bit more in touch with my country roots like he was.

3. Brandocrap. I have no idea why, either.

Outside of them, She had not much else but a constant stare and a sneer for everyone else, including me. It took me the greater half of twenty years, but I think I finally won her over(as opposed to the aforemented three who had almost no work to do to win her blackened heart).

Anyway, me and Gma have always been a source of entertainment for each other. She would tell me stories and I would curse like a sailor and throw a fit while she would watch me play video games. During my less profane times, we'd simply watch TV and good times were had by all.

The point of this backstory is because today, Gma Dropped a bomb on me.

I was sitting down at the kitchen table eating some waffles with her and Moms, when I get the bright idea of giving myself a syrup beard. Mom, long used to my antics, took the syrup away before I could enact upon such a plan, claiming that we would be "out of syrup" for her vile and disgusting pancakes. (Ladies, the line forms to the left. No pushing, please.)

"There's two whole bottles in the pantry, genius. I could drink that bottle and you'd never be the wiser. Now give it back so i can make myself look like the Blackbeard of Molasses."(again, Line's on the left.)

Between me and Moms bickering, Gma pipes in. "Don't Drink that Syrup! You'll give yourself worms!"

Huh?

She continues to explain to me that that's how Dogs and Cats get worms, and that I'll give them to myself if I drink a whole bottle of syrup, a la Supertroopers. Whilst trying to explain to her that worms are picked up differently, I asked her if she also thought that mice came from dirty rags.

She looked at me like I just said the stupidest thing in the world, and remarked "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I can't believe you went to college."

In other news... well, you're not ready for that yet. We'll save that for another update.


What if we get Def Leppard to do it?
No! We fucking hate this song! We hate it!

Your cell phone, your wallet, your time, your ideas
No barcode, no party, no ID, no beers
Your bankcard, your license, your thoughts, your fears
No simcard, no disco, no photo, not here
Your blood, your sweat, your passions, your regrets
Your office, your time off, your fashions, your sex
Your pills, your grass, your tits, your ass
Your laughs, your balls.

We want it all

We want your Soul
(Your Cash, Your House, Your Phone, Your Life)

Tell us your habits, your facts, your fears
Give us your address, your shoe size, your years
Your digits, your plans, your number, your eyes
Your schedule, your desktop, your details, your lives.
Show us your children, your photos, your home.
Here, take credit, take insurance, take a loan.
Get a job, get a pension, get a haircut, get a suit.
Play the lottery, play football, play the field, score some toot

We'll show you things, show you scenes.
We'll buy you drinks, throw away your books,
We'll sell you crack, We'll charge you tax.
We're going to buy big guns with the tons of cash

We want your Soul
Your Cash, Your House, Your Phone, Your Life

Your thoughts, your emotions, your love, your dreams
Your cheque book, your essence, your sweat, your screams
Your security, your sobriety, your innocence, your society
Your self, your place, your distance, your space



Go back to bed America, your government is in control again
Here, watch this, shut up!
You are free to do as we tell you!
You are free to do as we tell you!


We want your soul


Here's boy bands, here's matters, here's Britney, here's Cola
Here's pizza, here's TV, here's some rock and some roller
Watch commercials, more commercials, watch Jerry, not Oprah
Buy a better life from the comfort of your sofa
Here's popcorn, here's magazines, here's milkshake, here's blue jeans
here's padded bras, here's armpit wax, here's football shirts, here's baseball caps
here's live talk shows, here's video games, here's cola lite, here's ten more lanes
here's fingertips, here's collagen lips, here's all night bars, here's plastic hips

We want your soul
(Your Cash, Your House, Your Phone, Your Life)


Go back to bed America, your government is in control again
Here, here's American Gladiators
Watch this, shut up!
Go back to bed America,
Here's American Gladiators, here's 56 channels of it
Watch these pictuary retards bang their fucking skulls together
And congratulate you on living in the land of freedom
Here you go America,
You are free to do as we tell you!
You are free to do as we tell you!


We want your soul
(Your Cash, Your House, Your Phone, Your Life)

No sex, no strays, no dropouts, no gays
No lefty's, no loonies, no opinions, no way.
No thinkers, no teachers, no fats, no freaks
No skaters, no tweakers, no joke, no way.

We want your soul
Here's popcorn, here's magazines, here's milkshake, here's blue jeans
here's padded bras, here's armpit wax, here's football shirts, here's baseball caps
here's very very very very very very very very very very very very very long infomercials.


Freeland- Now and Them

I'm missing the mindset to write lately, it seems. By write, I mean rant and bitch about life and whatever pisses me off, and litter the whole thing with colorful Words like "Fucksnack", "cock holster", and "Thundercunt". So sorry for the lack of updates this month. I've had a lot of personal shit I'm working through that I don't feel the need to bore the world with. I'll try to get back on my game sometime soon.

Anyway, in the meantime, check this out:

Standing But Not Operating

Lost America

You can thank Brandocrap for this.

And this, just in case you ever wondered where you stood on the hierarchy of most things geek.




Dead on the inside I've got nothing to prove
Keep me alive and give me something to lose

"Well. that could have gone a lot better..." That pretty much sums up what I said and did this weekend.

Not a lot to say right now. Even if i did say it, I'd fuck it up somehow and just piss more people off at me.

Quoted for truth.

what was bad, has gotten worse.

I don't even really want to talk about it at this point.

What a shitty last couple of weeks. The only bright spot being when i ran away and went to springfield for the weekend.

Keep spinning that black hole around. See how far it goes down.



But it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to
It didn't turn out quite the way that you wanted it

"Well. that could have gone a lot better..." That pretty much sums up what I said and did this weekend.

Not a lot to say right now. Even if i did say it, I'd fuck it up somehow and just piss more people off at me. Not that I care about pissing most of you off most of the time, but sometimes I do care. See what I mean? That didn't even make sense to me.

No, I don't know what "Bedating" is either. I'm pretty sure you knew what I meant, though. who the fuck knows at this point, though?

Also, Another Summer dies. That's for you cumguzzler, You cocksocking, diseased cuntbag. Not that you still read this, but just in case.

Fuck this. I'm going back to the bottle (because that's the mature thing to do, you know). I'll make an update in a couple of days when I'm done drinking.

Go start a "People I have failed" club in the meantime or something.



You're lovely
But you've got lots of problems

Sometimes, I do love work. Rarely, but I do. It usually comes after I get really bored and my curosity begins to get the best of me.

Bored at work, I took a browse through some of the new porn that one of the stores got in. I pick up a copy of "Bathroom Games" and, giggling like a 10 year old, proceed to read some of the blurbs on the back cover. Standard fare... things like "the Hottest wetplay you'll ever see" and "Only we can give you these kinds of golden showers!"

Then, something in the fine print caught my eye.

NOTICE: A panel of independant medical experts specializing in all phases of human sexuality has set forth guidlines for the producer taking into consideration the findings in Miller v. California, 413 US 15, and Pope v. Illinois, 491 US 497. Based upon the guidlines formulated by this panel, a qualified psychologist has reviewed the product and determined that when viewed in it's entirety the DVD motion picture presents serious scientific value to the average user.

Serious scientific value. O RLY?

I swear to god I am not making that up.

Now, Get me right here. I'm not about to bash porn. I think a little porn(the legal stuff) can be a healthy thing for singles and couples. But scientific? hmmm....color me a skeptic. I'm having a little trouble seeing the findings of "Fresh Faces #2 of 5" in Scientific American. I don't remember the last time a bunch of science majors were sitting around bedating theories found in "Family Affairs". And "Furry Little Asians" isn't likely to be played in a high school health class anytime soon, no matter how much "value" such a title might hold.

Admittedly, I do like the idea of a nobel prize doing to the stirring documentry, "Britney Skye And her Big Titted Friends". I may be biased, though, as I steadfastly believe that world peace, nay, dare i say, peace across endless Galaxies, would follow if only Tiffany Towers would just touch my wing-wang. Repeatedly.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do some "research" on the internet. Mostly concerning Dolly from Big Naturals and that really fucking hot chick(Lori?) from Cum Fiesta. Muwhahahahaha It's not perverted, it's SCIENCE!



Her eyes
She's on the dark side

I just got home from running around after work. I'm tired, pissy, and in one of "those" moods.

Basically, I was about to go all "Z gangsta" on your asses. Thankfully, you have been saved, as we're going to play a game. or rather, an experiment, if you will.

I am going to drink. Heavy. I mean "the gods will remember this one" drinking.

We're going to see how many it actually takes before i do something stupid: i.e. Make an update or drunken call about how i'm going to kill myself, Hump a statue, bite a dog, that kind of thing. Simple, yet effective.

And since i know most of you aren't even on right now, i'm going to let you make the call... you see my email addy over in that corner? If you use MSN messenger, add me to your list, and send me a message. it'll come to my phone, and it might just spark an interesting conversation, or you can order me to drink for tonight only. This offer ends at 3 am.

Why am I doing this?

becuase Paris Hilton has produced a record, They're playing her single on the radio, and some of you morons are requesting it, thereby forcing me to listen to it during work.

At this point in the week, I have run out of babies to kick, and must now punish myself-with your help.

Together, we can do this.



Got to keep it on the surface
Because everything else is dead on the other side

Blah.


This is a bit old, but I thought it was an interesting article. I didn't find out about it until I saw something in a Harper's excerpt a couple of weeks ago. It's not entirely suprising, but I do i have a question; Where Do i pick up my "minority card"?

I don't really think what I believe (or rather, lack thereof) entitles me to some kind of special status, like "minority", though I do find it somewhat insulting that I'm basically not considered American because I don't believe, or I'm not worthy of someone's daughter becuase mom and dad assume that I'm a horrible person and have no sense of morality. I am a horrible person(many can attest for that), but it's wrong to base that on the idea of what i believe.. It should be based on the fact that I kick babies when angry and eat puppies every morning just to hear them whimper as I pre-digest them with the acid dripping of my Atheist Mandibles of Searing Doom.


I guess I'll just need to convert if I ever want to have hopes of getting married in this nation. How about this, rest of the world? You give us our own continent, and we'll leave you the fuck alone and you can continue to Be horrible examples of your own faith? North Korea and China dosen't count because they have cults of personality.

sorry, not trying to be hateful. Stuff like this just dosen't inspire faith in my fellow man.


Something nice later.



staring in the face of condemnation

Quiz Time, Readers.

Who out of this list Has been shot Nine times, stabbed, hung or strangled, and lived to tell about it? Remember, they have to qualify for all three.

1. Missouri State Trooper Brandon Brashear

2. 50 Cent

3. Monica Seles

4. Gregori Rasputin

5. My new boss

6. John "Babbacombe' Lee



Give up? All have suffered at least one, but only number 5 has done all three. Yes, he actually told one of the employees he has been shot nine times. WTF?

And you know what? I totally believe him. It sounds absurd, I know, but when you look at my curriculum vitae, you begin to see just how weak his Kung Fu really is. Take a look at some of my more minor accomplishments(the big ones I can't really talk about, you know, National Security and whatnot):

Recieved an F minus in Algebra 2, one of the few students EVER at C.C.H.S. to do so.

Beat Metroid 40 times in one Night. Yes I used the JUSTIN BAILEY code but regardless....

Read Microsoft Windows' EULA down to the last word.

Got laid in a parking lot of a hotel by a hot chick. in Canada.

Rode a Tyranosaurus Rex.

Partied with Digital Underground.

Got laughed at by James Hetfield at the '97 Metallica show @ the Keil for falling into the row below me after rocking out a little too hard.

Discovered a lesbian relationship between Samus Aran and Lara Croft. Took pictures. Got sued.

ALMOST killed the last living unicorn, thereby sending the world into a never-ending Age of Darkness. If it hadn't been for fucking Tom Cruise....

Killed a Terrasque by rolling natural 20's for an hour straight, then casting wish. My AD&D homies know what i'm talking about. 2E REPREZENT BITCHES!

Time-traveled in a phone booth.

Shot Andy Warhol.

Drank 70 beers at Herrinfest and lost my phone in a port-o-potty.

Taught Kim Jong-il how to make a hamburger, but then he went off and told his friends that HE invented it. Asshole. Last time I ever invite him over for "Movie night".

Learned to tie my shoes....at 14.

Fought the Predator and won by sissorkicking.

Fought Mike Tyson and lost, disqualified by sissorkicking. Damned rules and regulations.

Fought Voltron And lost. I never had a chance.

Beat Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris, and Bill Brasky in a game of Trival Pursuit.

Honorary Member of: PALS4LIFE, SIU Alumni Association, the Foot Clan, John A. Logan Biology Club, Naked Death, Better Business Bureau, X-men, The Recording Industry Assocation of America, Hellfire Club, and The local Rotary and Lion's clubs.


Yeah. Superman's got nothin on me.


I have seen too much
I haven't seen enough

HEAD: APPLY DIRECTLY TO WALL.
HEAD: APPLY DIRECTLY TO WALL.
HEAD: APPLY DIRECTLY TO WALL.

I'm supposed to Love fridays, I end up usually hating them the most. And now i'm going to be getting up even earlier next week. Class, Did I ever give you the impression that I was a morning person? Also, a whole bunch of other things that i'm not going to bore you with for now, becuase all i want to do is get the fuck out of here, go pick up my check(this is the third fucking week in a row i have to make a special trip to another store to pick up payroll and then back to this store so everyone else can get paid. Why? Because the other store is easier for the person who delivers my checks to drop them off at. Did I mention my gas bill last month? Thanks a lot, jackasses. yeah, all of you.

I'm thinking either i'm going on another blackout drinking binge tonight, or I'm going to be Spending a lot of time in Warsong Gulch swinging [Corpsemaker] into a lot of alliance faces this weekend.

Somebody has to pay for my frustration(social and sexual, as it were), and what better way than to take it out on some unsuspecting night elves?



And he's old and he's stupid and he's hungry and he's sore
And he's blind and he's lame and he's dirty and he's poor
Give me more, give me more give me more give me more

The Threes have it.


As most of you know, I have started a new job within the company. I'm still making up my mind as to whether or not this was what we would call "A good move". A lot of the times I feel less a manager and more of a redcoat continually putting down mini-rebellions and explaining to George why the hell everything's going wrong. Like I needed to be the one with this kind of responsibility. Oh, and the drive sucks. You don't want to know what the gas bill was for last month.

The scenery is nice, though. However, I have a gripe about that too. Why? Simple. let's go into pretend-land.

Imagine it's 110 degrees outside. You've been in the heat all day, and some stranger hands you an ice cream cone. It looks absolutely delicious. Big, cold, heavy, scoops of your favorite flavor, sprinkles, the works. After being in the heat all day, you can't imagine anything better than taking a lick of that savory-looking cone.

Only, you can't. All you can do is sit there and watch the ice cream cone melt quickly away before the kind(?) stranger hands you another one, ad infinitum.

Why can't you eat it? I dunno. Make up a reason. I like "Because your mouth has been sewn shut with steel wire. Then riveted over with an iron plate. Also, your tongue has been torn out so you wouldn't enjoy it anyway. and they kicked my dog, too."

Hell sucks, but at least I got a view.

Anyway, by now you get the point that there's a lot of pretty lasses that come through my doors.

About a week into my new job, I get a visit from The Owner. He's asks me why video "dosen't do well and what can we do about it to get this place to make some money?"

"Probably becuase there's three major rental chains in town, not to mention the mom-and-pop shops, and not to mention if i was a poor college student, I'd just as soon download the movie at college and spend the 2.50 on cheap beer. as far as ideas, i have none. I just started here and i'm still getting a feel for the place."

Appearantly I'm not telling him anything new. But he's got an idea for this place. A real kayo punch that will net a big win for everybody.

TO: "Let's get these movies out of here, and get Adult Movies in here."

LD: "Adult movies only?"

TO: "Yeah. we can compete if we only have adult movies, since only family's got them. It'll narrow the field down. We'll focus on two big moneymakers: Tanning and Adult movies."

LD: ".....are you fucking serious?"

TO: "You don't think it will work?"

LD: "You didn't just ask me that seriously, did you?"

Yeah. Tanning and Porno for the Win, according to Jack "Batshit crazy" Businessman.

I got a better idea. How about we just drill holes into the walls to the tanning booths, and just charge guys for peepshows? We'd actually SAVE money by not having to buy more adult videos, maybe even make our own by setting up cameras in all the rooms. Seriously, The Core demographic for this store is 18-25 females. The core demo for adult? just a WAG, but i'm betting 21-55 Males. Now, I'm not a nubile coed or anything, but if i was, the last place I would want to fake bake would be in a salon that was populated with men who were browsing porn and most likely leering at every girl that came in, waiting with bated breath for them to come out of the tanning bed wearing less than what they were wearing coming in.

As far as i know, that idea got put to the sword, which is good becuase I'm not being paid enough to be a jizzmopper.


This chaos is killing me

Goddamn, I need to stay off the compy when i'm plastered like that. I don't even remember posting my suicide plan. Now I got to come up with a something different.

I'm working on getting back on the ball here, folks. I have a few things rolling around in my head that I hope is as good typed out as they are in my mind right now.

Since I "gifted" those of you loyal enough to check throughout July with a month of shitty, shitty poetry(thankfully, little even made it on the site), i'm gonna do something different; i'm going to throw up a vote.

What do you want to read about first? Take your pick:

1. White Power Singles

2. Verizon Wireless is a fucking Joke and I can prove it

3. Porno-Tanning

4. Harlot, Thy name is World of Warcraft

5. Livingdead kicks babies when angry

You got till Thursday to decide. If nobody votes, then you're all assholes and I'll just post pictures of kittens along with MORE shitty poetry that even I won't be able to look at for more than 5 minutes before wanting to kick myself in the Crotch. Do not tempt me on this.

Welcome back, regular readers.


Just stare
Relive the nightmare

As you as my witness

If this is how it is...


Then

I'm killing myself at 30

For this was not what I was meant to be



I had a future

I had a plan

And it's gone


You Think i'm not serious?

Then you watch and see

You watch and see

Creative writing
You really suck at it, Mike
Bring back teh funnay.

I'm really sorry
WoW and work dominates me
Update coming soon.

I honestly thought

At one time

I would be further along in life

Than where i am now

It was so close

And now

So far away......


No one to blame

But me

Step back and see

All this progress

And blood

Still remaining

Too far gone

I'm living

but not really alive

Damnit.

I have been sucked Hook, Line, and Sinker into World of Warcraft. between that and the New job i have not been giving you, my dear readers, the attention you so fairly deserve. I wish to apologize for that. I do hav a plethora of Stuff to talk about, but it's going to have to wait for a month, as it is July.



For those of you that are New(ish) to this concept, I usually use July as my month of "writing whatever the hell i feel like", which translates into my half-assed attempt to write stories, as opposed to commenting on current events, whatever the hell's going on with my life, or the crazy stories that spawn from work. July is usually my lowest month as far as regular reader, so there's usually not too many complaints.

I usually post this warning in June, but as i've not been a good boy as far as updating, I thought I'd take the first day and post this little warning. If you don't like to amateur fiction, Come back in August.

I chime in
Haven't you people ever heard of
Closing a goddamn door?

Not much to say, sorry.

I'm going to be a Manager! W00t!.

To counterbalance that, I came home from work to find out that my MP3 Drive is roached. all my music is gone.

FUCK.

The luck giveth, and The luck taketh away.

Could be worse, I suppose. I could have found out that i just won a Bazillion dollars and then find out i'm going to die in a few weeks from a Deadly Strain of Herpes or something.

Anyway, off to the Sunset Concerts to celebrate.

Silly monkeys
Sive them thumbs
They forge a blade

Game 7.

Oilers vs. Canes on NBC. Tonight.

And the local affiliate is carrying it. I know what I'm doing tonight.

Nothing else to day today for the moment. Sorry kiddos.

Go Oilers.

What are we going to do?

One of my most dog-eared chapters in my copy of DP is the chapter on North Korea. To me, it's the most interesting read in the entire book, due to the vast amount of bullshit that one has to swallow in order to sustain some form of existance(Things such as the "Leader" being the main force behind Toasters, cheeseburgers, and the Sun rising and setting each day. Ok then.) in this literal prison-state. The words used to paint the DPRK are so bleak you almost can't believe it's real. Looking here and here, I kept thinking of another photo shoot I've seen: The Zone of Alienation. Talk about dream vacations for me. I have a thing for being in places that I'm not supposed to be, and I blame that on my natural curiosity that compels me to check out roads marked "Road closed" and "Dead End" when I have the time to.


On a happier note, Justin Sane sent me a link that I think is awesome. Customer Service + MMORPG'S + Morons for customers* Hilarity = Bannable offenses. check it out.

I wanted to talk a little bit about my new-found love for DosBox(now that I figured out how the hell to use it), Moxie, and other things, but I'll save that for another time.



Your first burning breath
Was a symphony

Well, that was a shitty weekend.


The Main event(other than going through let another letdown) was getting my old copy of Full Throttle running on my current PC. One would think that a 10+ year old game would be a cinch to run, but it's not. But thanks to ScummVM and my packrat abilities, I got to enjoy one of the last great click and point adventures of the 90's again. I do miss playing my old games. Such "winners" like Critical Path, Iron Helix, and Rise of The Triad I have held onto over the years in the idea that I will at some point take one of my old computers and rig it with an older OS so as to play said games. If I could find a virtual machine for these games, I would probably forget all about how Half life 2 likes to fuck up on me every two months and not get tempted to buy World of Warcraft. Guess I'll just have to stick toBraminar and NetHack for now. Nothing wrong with the classics, mind you.

The Trent Reznor and Peter Murphy duet on "Head Like a Hole" is fucking awesome.

I did get a nice perkup in the mail today, thanks to SquirrelGirl for the Autograph of The Great One. I literally fipped out at the parking lot at work when I saw what it was. You wouldn't happen to like wine, would you?

Other than that, I'm off till friday and well, life is awesome!



Oh come on, you don't really believe I really meant that last part After this weekend, do you?


And if i could just reach you maybe i could leave this place

I’m real reluctant to touch on this topic, but it's been something I've been mulling over for some time.

MySpace is the new AOL. Worse, even. Let me throw this into perspective for you.

As some of you already know, I have a MySpace account (having said that, I already feel like Old Man Waterfall: "I request a Satanic funeral!" "BOOOOOOOOOO!"). I use it as a placemarker; if someone searches for me, they'll find me, but if they want to know anything about what I've been up to, they can come here. Other than that, I try not to use it. I don't blog on it, I don't link to other people, and I rarely respond to messages sent to me on MySpace. That makes me sound like a snob, but I'll wear that shoe for now.

Back in the early days of the internet, AOL had a certain reputation as being "Internet Lite": easy to get on, millions use it, and a lot of them are people who are complete imbeciles who make you wonder how they walk and breathe at the same time. Often, you would see the guestbook of a personal web page littered with AOL emails, followed up with a question that was already answered on the page. My personal favorite: Someone leaving a comment of a webpage asking how to use Yahoo. Don't ask me how they got there, either.

AOL'ers were especially unwelcome for a long time in Usenet. Often in the middle of a discussion, someone who meandered into the newsgroup would ask an off-topic question that had nothing to do with said group. This is an example I made up that was typical of such tomfoolery that would usually result in large-scale ridicule, and rightly so. Class, can you tell me how many Netiquette rules are being broken in the following?


Date: 19 AUG 1997 12:25:32 GMT
Posted to: rec.games.roguelike.nethack
Xpost To: alt.2600, alt.music.nin, alt.tv.er, alt.sex.beer-bottle, alt.fan.bill-gates, alt.horror
RE: request for new Feature

> Going further, perhaps the game could keep track of:

> * Location of artifacts, and how they entered the game.
> * Number of wishes used, broken down by source.
> * Methods used to kill large monsters, eg. the wizard.
> * Time taken to reach milestones, if at all. eg. getting the
> luckstone, getting to the oracle, entering/completing the quest,
> etc.
> * Time taken to reach each experience level.
> * etc. etc.

HI I JUST SIGNED UP AND WAS HOPEING SOMEONE WOULD SHOW ME WHERE I CAN GET THE PROGRAM WAREZ? MY FIREND STEVE TOLD ME I CAN GET FREE SOFTWHERE ON THE INTERNET USING WAREZ. IF YOU HAVE THE WAREZ PROGRAM, PLEASE SEND IT TO BIGDICKBILLY143@AOL.COM.


(Minor rant: "warez" is pronounced "wheres", not "where ASS". You wouldn't believe how many dipshits used to come into EB and talk about how they have a huge collection of "where ass" and I'd look at them like they're a goddamned idiot because they were talking about stealing software in a software store, or worse, they'd ask me how to copy or crack software. Here's an idea: why don't you go down to the car dealership and ask them how to break into a Lexus? Fucktards.)

Anyway, back to my point. AOL, while it did have it's share of decent people who were suck with no better choice for an ISP, was mostly filled with clueless dickbags who consider the internet pretty much a giant high school.

Fast forward a bit, and you have yahoo chat. Same problem: socially inept masses who have watched too much Springer and have learned to use pre-built hacking programs to act like overfucked assholes on the internet. Or complete tools that really think that this chick is real and wants to talk to you.

And now, we have MySpace. ANYONE can get on. Everyone's a Star. And everyone can be just as pimp as they really are in life, and it's SO EASY to use and EVERYONE's on it! You should Join and add me as your friend! You’ll look awesome if you have a bunch of friends! Uhm, No. I guess I’ll just be uncool, then, and have no friends on MySpace. I'd rather look like that than look like I’m still stuck in a high school mentality where I have to look popular.

It's sounds a bit elitist, I know. And to be honest, I shouldn't bitch too much about the service itself. My complaint, honestly, is more about the users. Yes, there are some genuinely alright people on there who use it as an easy way to lookup old friends and keep in touch with each other. Sadly, they are heavily outweighed by all those douchnozzles who are too stupid to realize that the "hot chick" they don't know but just added is a fucking spambot. Seriously, click that link and look through the amount of people that are hitting on a nonexistent woman. They played right into whoever's running that account's hands. I hope they signed up for whatever's she's shilling and get fucked six ways to Sunday with spam and malware.

MySpace layouts are another bitch altogether I"ll get into. Besides, I think I lost my point in the middle of my ranting.


I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleader chick

Happy 6/6/06! May you dine eloquently on the entrails of lesser animals such as yourself as you worship your various dark gods!

Or just do housework, or your regular job. Whatever floats your boat.

Raining blood
From a lacerated sky

Okay. Got some things implemented that i've been wanting to do for a while. Code is up to date, and added my first affiliation. I now eagerly await the dozens of thosands of viewers that will very obviously be beating my server to death now! Or not.

Other things:

Spam filter software is working like a charm. or they got tired of dealing with my agressive nature of deleting it as soon as it popped up.

Don't ask me how, but if you're into RSS feeds, I got one going, if you're into that kind of thing. Seriously, it's like a monkey is just banging away on a keyboard sometimes with me. Sometimes it works, most of the times it dosen't. This time it did, for the most part.

I got to look over a couple more scripts for the photo archive, too. I'm having trouble deciding which one i really want to go with.

anyway, a real update later. I got real world things to do at the moment.

wow. I didn't say "fuck" anywhere in that update.

EDIT: categories not showing on individual updates. Goddamnit. I'll fix it later.


Thank you very much mr. roboto
For doing the jobs that nobody wants to

Site may be wonky for a bit. Implementing new code and a few other things.

And yes, I Promise I'm going to get a photo archive up soon.

38/51. 30 of them in the last 12 months.

I'm Home now. More later.

Inspire in me
The desire in me
To never go home

Washington, D.C.


Woke up yesterday, packed up, and left from the cottage, and headed out to Pemaquid Point for some early Morning east coast view(Again, Maine is so Beautiful), and some Breafast at the local Restraunt. Eggs Benedict, oh how I love thee. What a Wonderful Change from all the seafood i have ingested the last several days( I've had lobster every night since Montreal, and some kind of Seafood every night since the trip started). Nunkie had the biggest damn plate of Pankcakes I have ever seen.


Holy Christ that was a Long as Drive. 14 hours Yesterday from Bristol Maine to DC.

a couple thoughts of the states we hit since Maine:

Massachusetts: Slept through most of it. Someone started talking about My Briend Brike again(long story).

Rhode Island: I thought this State was small? why the fuck haven't we blown through this state yet?

Connecticut: I wish this State was as Small as Rhode Island. I'm never coming Back here. Traffic Sucks and these people have no clue how to drive.

New York: Uh, Guys... We're in the Bronx. And Saw some guy flip off someone else in the most extragavant manner possible.

New Jersey: Holy shit, it really IS dirty as hell! Also, we Forgot our turnpike ticket(actually we got inthe wrong lane, but the lanes are confusing as Fuck when you're just trying to escape New York)

Delaware/Maryland: i don't care. cool. Let's Eat, Let's get to DC... OH Hey Baltimore! Wer'e almost there! it's... Wow... Why tdoes the NSA get it's own Entrance off the highway, and then have it Say "RESTRICTED Employess only" on it? Jackasses. that's Not very Secret, is it?


Anyway, After a long long Road trip, We're here, and i finally have internet Access, so i did a little Post date manipulation and posted them basically around the time stuff was going down. This stuff was been hastily Written, so expect a lot of spelling errors.

anyway, i'm going to get off the Computer and figure out what we're going to do next. It's nice not to have to be in a Car at all for a couple of days.

Bristol, Maine.

Got into Maine from Montreal late Monday night. The drive was nothing Short of beautiful. The Cottage was awesome(we all got our own bed, sweet) and sleep was the order of the day, as we Had a Kayaking trip tuesday.

Tuesday we Got up, got some breakfast at a mom and pop place(everything in this part of Maine is Mom and Pop, it's kinda weird) and headed to Maine Kayak for our thing.

Now, I hadn't been in a Kayak in about four years. It was on a Lake in SoIL, and it was an Opentop Kayak by Ocean Kayak. The Kayak i was in was much more confined. With all that out of the way, needless say i was a bit nervous, and ended up dumping out of the kayak about five minutes into the adventure.

great, now I'm wet, cold as fuck(though the wetsuit helped for the most part), got salt up my nose, and now I look like a complete simpleton becuase I end up riding in tandem(Two in the same boat) with the Guide where eveyone else was by themselves. Oh well, Fun was had by all, and it made for an interesting story to put up here, and most people know i'm a goddamned idiot anyway, so why not?

the Kayaking Trip was flat-out awesome. Seriously guys, if you go to Maine and look to get on the water, go to Maine Kayak and get a trip going through them. The guide was the owner and he was a hell of a guy. After the trip we headed to a place near the cottage called Shaw's Wharf for Some Kickass Seafoos and A bit o the Beer to make us eveen more sleepy.

Anyway, going to rest up now(we're all a a bit sunburnt and sore as all hell) and put out for wash DC tomorrow. Got a long drive ahead of us.

Montreal, Quebec.

The Canadian Side of the Falls was Awe-inspiring. And there's a Lot of Indian(as in India, not Native American) Cuisine in Niagra Falls Area, at least the American side. We chose to stay away from such explosive foods and head on Back to the Amiercan Side of the border, so as to drive through the rest of New York on our Way to Quebec.

One thing i'm going to Say right now is that the Border Patrol guy when we were coming back into america was an Absolute DICK. He sounded like he wasn't convinced that we were american(nevermind the fact that two of the three of us have passports, and the other Had multiple copies of his Birth Certificate and Photo ID) and that we were just three guys that were traveling just for the fuck of it(Yes, i realize they are supposed to ask Questions "for our security", but you don't have to be a complete dickbag about it). I guess someone had a little sand in thier vagina, and it wasn't me.

Anyway, We Get through the Border unmolested, make it through NY and cross back into Canada(where the border patrol was all kinds of cool about our reasons for traveling), and Make it to Quebec.

Quebec was... interesting, to say the least. Anyone who has been to Canada was seen almost all signs in English And French. Now, I knew Quebec was primarily French-speaking, but I had figured that, like the rest of Canada, it would also be Bilingual.

Oh, how i was So wrong.

People Spoke English one you indicated that you dind't know french, but almost everything leading into and in Montreal was in french.

We got to the Hotel A-OK, and from there we kinda puttered around the hotel. Brando and Nunkie end up puttering out kinda early again(can't blame them), and I, feeling adventurous(and not quite tired because I keep getting catnaps in the car) head on out to walk around dmidtown Montreal.

After getting throughly drunk in the hotel bar, I stumble out and walk about for a while. I ended up finding a bar called Vinyl just a couple of blocks form the hotel, and I only found it because I Heard the Music as i was passing by the street it was on.

Now for the win, Picture this: A classed up Livingdead, Drinking something called Rhum-and-Tings(they were goddamn delicious),in a bar that looks like a cross between Fearless's(the furniture) and my basement(the Size). And it's Blaring out the latest Rastafarian Mixes.

Whata Fucked up Night.

Niagra Falls, NY.

Flew through Austintown today, and had dinner with Jehboah, Justin Sane, and Noelle. My little niece didn't even recognize me(and she got big and Walking on me) but she warmed up to me again when I let her play with the cell phone for a while. she seemed to take to Brandocrap and Nunkie pretty easy, though. We only ended up staying a couple of hours before we hit the road, making it to Niagra Falls by sometime around 12:30am.

Our Hotel Was Right across the Street from the Seneca Falls Casino. I wasn't tired, and the Casino was open 24/7, So I broke one of my own rules and decided to go for a walk around the casino. Nunkie warned me that it can be a rather sad affair, what with people throwing thier money away. I would usually Agree, but i had neever been in a casino, so it was time to find out for myself.


So in I go, and well... I had a hell of a time, actually. I played the nickel slots(The Price is Right Rocks!) and cashed out everytime I made double the amount I put in. I ended up doing okay, Then I wandered over to the Roulette table and bought some chips with my winnings and threw it on Black Twice and ended up Doubling My money.

I walked in there expecting to lose 25 bucks, and Walked out with 80 AND I got free drinks. All in all, A good night.

time for bed. Gonna hit the Canadian Side of the Falls tomorrow.

I've been really wondering what I should write here for my sendoff. I haven't really been stressing about it, but I did make a promise to put something up before I go. At first, I thought about pointing you towards a game. Then I thought about maybe you would appreciate something to chew on mentally. Or Perhaps, I should upload a screenshot or two of What kid of madness I delve into with Half-Life 2(that is, when it's working for me and not stuttering worse than Quake 1 on dialup, goddamnit).

Then I thought... well, it's 1:30 in the morning, I'm tired as shit, and I'm leaving in roughly 6 hours, and i'm going to be doing this on the road, so the hell with it.

So, there's your update.

See ya on the road.

They choose the path that no one goes

Super Coast Death Trip 2: Electric Boogaloo in five days.

Like last time, I will be update at every available oppurtunity. I wanted to do this on the California Trip, but Newblood was down, so the only people who got updates was the denziens at SOI/BWR(I had reposted them all in one long article at one time back on Bloghorn, but appearantly is was lost somehow though the various changes that happened to the page that I really didn't care for, but Ben was nice enough to try to help a whiny bitch like me out). This time, as long as internet access is available, I will make updates. I know I haven't been too keen on doing it as of late, but you know, that Real Life thing just keeps getting in the way.

Anyway, back to the map. It's pretty self-explanatory, except for two things: The route isn't a complete replica as Streets and Trips favors interstates, hence no representation of Vermont, and the route home isnt shown. It should be as simple as getting on 64 and zipping back to IL, but there's the off chance(time willing) that we will go fight sharks in the Carolinas or lay siege to Ted Turner's castle in Atlanta, trebuchet and all. That may sound ludricious to you, but keep in mind that I have encountered a Minotaur and a Land Kraken in Southern Illinois alone, so anything's possible.

Short update, I know, but I'll bang out at least one more before the trip. Promise.


To Kill a Dead Man

So, I've got this theory, and you just became my unwilling test subjects-slash-peer review community.

Go to your CD or DVD collection. Take a good look at it. and I don't mean glance over it real quick just to assure yourself that there isn't anything missing. I mean really look at it. It's okay. I can wait a few minutes.



Okay. As you were browsing your catalog, did you happen to come across anything that particularly stuck out? Like say... A Pink CD amongst your Metallica? Or perhaps a Marilyn Manson CD hidden between Garth Brooks and Toby Keith? Maybe even a Yo-Yo Ma nestled snugly betwixt Nelly and Dre? Maybe You have The Notebook filed in with your Terminator movies, or you have Resident Evil laying atop a Stack of Tom Hanks Movies. Or, better Yet, you, for some Strange reason, have every single LOTR dvd that ever came out, and you never watch them. Ever. And where the hell did that Phil Collins CD come from?

What I'm theorizing is that people have three reasons for such "Sore thumbs" in thier collection:

1. A guilty pleasure. (Guys)You actually LIKE watching A Lot Like Love. You Think Britney Really does a hell of a job on her Debut Album. Kenny G really is good. (Girls) You LOVED Predator. You get a kick out of Korn. In Your Opinion, N.W.A. drops dope-ass rhymes. You actually like the oddball disc in your collection, but you may not be that into the genre it represents. It goes against what you normally listen to or whatever image you have built up yourself to be. You aren't quite embarrassed to hide it as if it were porn, but you hope no one notices it and makes conversation about it should they go browsing through your collection.

2. Social factors. Quite the opposite of the first reason, you want people to see the movie or CD. You may not have watched Schindler's List, Citizen Kane, or the Big Lebowski or listened to the latest Coldplay, Tool, or Jason Mraz CD, but you want people to think you did, or that you were interested enough in it that you bought it. Kind of like how Hawking's A Brief History of Time adorned Many coffee tables, but few people actually read the damn thing. You just hope by having it you seem a bit more cultured in your Media tastes.

3. The opposite sex. You live with your Significant Other. Just like toilet seats in the up position, Tampon boxes, and football during Desperate Housewives, amalgamating the music and movies into one collection is just something you had to dealt with. Most likely, you never even thought about the issue since it isn't a big deal and you don't know what it's like so what the hell are you writing about it?

Well, it sounded interesting in my head. At least it's an update.


And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you?

Let me just get this off my chest....

A Prom in a Hospital? WTF?

Sorry I've been Dr. Neglecto of late. My addictive personality has got me hooked on Lost after seeing one epsiode, and then voraciously going through the season one discs from the store. That, and Half-Life 2 Deathmatch. And Urban Dead. And Work. And a fucked up sleep schedule(sorry I missed your calls last night Slowbek).

Short update for now. Got some topics in the pipe though. Stay tuned.

Spark becomes a flame
Flame becomes a fire
Forge a blade to slay the stranger
Take whatever we desire

So, I believe I left off about halfway through saturday night.

Me, Nunkie, RVZ, Brandocrap, the Slowbeks, and Braddong head out to a place called Noshville for dinner, and delish it was. Upon stepping outside, however, we end up getting hit up for money by two different panhandlers at the same time. One of them was "a christian man whom him and his daughter have been stuck in nashville for a week, I have money, but can't get to it, would appreciate any help..." It was actually a very long and drawn-out process, not to mention a giant run-on sentance that was too well-rehearsed. The other was a rather uncreative "Spare some change for the homeless?" Nope, sorry. I'm poor too, pal. Hate to sound so heartless about it, but I'm a bit jaded. Anyway, it was raining and after a couple moments of confusion(Hey, is that the Wendy's where Tapeface happened?"), so we dogpiled into a cab and headed downtown to attempt to meet up with the rest of the group.

Although there are a couple other bars we visited that were noteworthy, I was a bit "Eh, it's alright" about the bars we were going to at that point. Some of the group broke off and went back to the hotel as we cruised through these bars. As we headed along after mulligan's, we turned a corner, And suddenly, I was no longer in a world I was used to. No more of the bars that, while cool, all begin to run together after a while. These new, alien to me bars and the time I spent in them is What galvanized my opinion of Nashville. I didn't know it just yet, but it was what made me sit back and go "this I what I wanted to See in Nashville. This is The Nashville Experience I was hoping for.

The first bar we entered was The Bluegrass Inn, complete with country band, cowboy hats, and shelves made of 2x4's. throw in two hot bartenders, PBR, And a "down home" crowd, and you have a recipe that, for some strange reason, I'm finding myself liking. Me and Brando took up seats at the bar, and drank everything in. While I wasn't interested in leaving, I was out of smokey treats and they didn't sell smoke. I told the bartender I was going to make her famous in Illinois(which got a wink out of her, so either I should have stayed and played my slim-to-none odds of scoring or she thought it was a cute remark from a drunk fat kid) and the crew left.

At this point, the group splits again, leaving three: Me, Tman, And Brandocrap. we head next door To what would ultimately be our last, and in my Opinion, the best bar of the night: Robert's Western World. RWW was more upscale than it's neighbor(read: Nice Shelves) but had a kick-ass house band Named BrazilBilly, and fried baloney sandwiches("Friggin delishious", cried the Tman) georgeous women, and cheap, cheap PBR.

Tman would get a head start on us back to the hotel, as me and brando closed out the bar. On the walk home, we got encountered three authentic Georgia women who were staying on the same floor as us, and I got into an arguement with one of them over where I was from:

"You're from Chicago, aren't you?"

"Nope. Christo-"

"You're from Peoria, then. Which is just as bad."

"No, I'm not. I'm Near ST. Lou-"

"You shouldn't lie, Yankee. I can tell by your accent."

"Riiiight. Whatever you say, But I'm from SOUTHERN Illinois. We were for you guys in the Civil War."

After some Drunk Dialing by Me and Brando, I end up passing out somewhere around 4 in the morning... only to be woke by a constant rapping on the hotel door at 9:30 by the Slowbeks, Nunkie, and RVZ(Brandocrap was already up and showering, and Braddong had Left an hour earlier...I think) Appearantly, answering the door In my boxers with my eyes completely closed and closing it in the middle of whatever Slowbek was saying so i can go back to sleep for another hour is secret code for "Come on in and be as loud as you want! Keep telling me I Need to get up! Be disgusted that I am in my Boxers! Don't forget to fart on me becuase it's Teh Funnay!"(I don't really mean anything by that. I just hate being woke up.) we all check out, head back to Clarksville, eat at the Olive Garden, say our goodbyes, and home we go.

All in all, it was a great weekend for me. Got to hang out with good friends(Some I hadn't seen in a long, long while), good food, and great bars. I know some of you may be scratching your heads out there in internet-land about my love for the country bars, But consider this: It's places like this where some of the biggest names in music got thier start in these little homely bars. You go there and you just... slip into an element that feels alive and happening. All those country songs I grew up to on the radio(Thanks to Gma) made a lot more sense now that I've been there and seen this place through thier eyes. It's something I'm not likely to forget anytime soon, and I plan on going back to drink in more of the Nashville Experience.

That, and I promised Gma that I would take her to the bar that Ralph Emery Was in.

Old Hank made it here
And We’re all sure that you will

So, Last night there was a lot of uncomfortable postions in Clarksville, mostly relating to the fact that i had to sit on Nunkie's Lap as there was 12 people crammed into 2 taxicabs. The cabbie got a kick out it(plus, we tipped him well). Going through White Castle drive-thru was the worst part. Everyone got home okay, and Copious amounts of Slyders were consumed. Also, Everybody was fucking Smashed.

about five hours later, the slyder attacks claimed thie first victim: Me. I Swear to Christ I opened the portal to hell this morning in that toilet.

Anyway, Back at the Hotel in Nashville, after a little stint out at Sam's cafe and grill Watching the Kentucky Derby. Naturally, I picked the loser and got nothing whilst the slowbeks, Sarah, and Papa Salmo ended up picking The Winner. This is why I don't Gamble.

I'm not sure what's going on next, but when we pulled up in the shuttle(which took half of forever due to wrogn directions) there was a lobby full of young women that deserve the kind of attention i'm ready to give em.

Considering my current lucky streak, they're all going to be like 15.


More Later(i'm forgettign a lot of shit right now and i realize that) if I am still sober enough to operate the letter clackie thingies.

I'm drunk
And right now I'm so in love with you

Gone to NashVegas.

Will Be back Monday.

Guilty Party Added(sorry it took so long, Sarah. and Crackerjack? You still running a blog? I'd Like to relink you if you do).


New Theme, with filter in place.

old comments cleaned up, and revamped comment system in place robospammers shouldn't be able to comment anymore.

I'm damned tired and I gotta work. I'm going to bed. Will post something meaningful later today.

I could fake it
But I still want more

First off....

Dear Nintendo,

what the fuck? Wii? Are you fucking serious?

Sincerely,

Livingdead


And now for Something completely different.

That big change I was talking about last week? Still working on it. In addition to something else popping up and having been taken care of, I've been trying to wage a small-scale war against spambots who are commenting on old articles. It was sort of fixed with the new base code, but instead of making huge comments like they were, now they're just dropping a name, email, and website, since the text gets filter blocked.

The solution is using a random number image generator(i.e. Like what Sarah has on her commentbox). This also has it's own drawbacks.

One, I have to migrate all my linkage and other errata over into the new theme and make it look right(not that hard, just time-consuming). I have new Guilty parties to add, and i'm still working on the photo archive.


The second problem is that anyone who is visually impaired won't be able to make comments. I don't really wish to discriminate, but I don't think I have any blind readers.

Lastly, anyone using a text-only Browser is going to be in the same boat as the second problem. I'm going to take a WAG and say about maybe one percent of one percent of my dear readers have ever used Lynx(or currently use an old version of Mobile Browser) before, so I assume this won't be much of a bitching point.


Anyway, enough for now. I gotta work in the morning. I need sleep, and the only reason i'm still up was because Gma was yelling for me. more this week as i remember the various topics i was going to talk about.


Something's wrong and I guess you've blown it
Thanks a lot cuz now I own it

I got a call about two weeks ago from someone I did not expect to hear from. It was from an ex who had found my blog and what I wrote about her about two years ago. She sounded cool about it, I told her I was sorry that she had to see it, but I wasn't sorry that I wrote it, since I wrote it during a time when I "actively wished death upon her". Again, I was sorry she had to see it now, but I wrote it, and it marked a stage I was at in my life that was before we had "made up" about as much as we were going to. I was busy, so I didn't stay on the phone long, we wished each other well, and that was that.

Apparently, we were talking about two completely different entries.

For sake of giving her a chance to speak and be heard, instead of being buried in the past (like it should be, honestly) here is the comment left last night under an entry I wrote back on 30 June 2004:

Ok here is the deal. I dont see why after all this time you just cannot get over whatever the fuck I supposedly did to you. My god, you have dated how many other people since we dated? By the way,you do realize we dated in 1996...all you nice folks reading this can do the math. Perhaps Mike cant b/c he isnt real smart when it comes to school, I mean my god how many tims have you flunked out of school now...I cant believe I actually apologized to you, even though I have no clue what I ever did to owe you an apology in the first place. I am sorry things just did not work out. I was young and I wasnt in love with you. I wasnt ready to settle down with someone, especially someone like you...I wonder, have you ever told the world the things you did to me? How bout owning up to some of your own fault...better yet how bout getting a fucking grip on reality. I guess I should go online and post all sorts of nasty negative shit about how you stalked me when I dumped your ass but hey I just did...didnt I. I think that your few blog entries further show everyone who knows you and even people who dont how much of a freak you are but the folks that know you already know that. As for your comment about my lack of intelligence, you will be so pleased to know that I will be finishing up my biology degree with a minor in chem, which from the looks of some of your other entries you were not able to accomplish yourself, so I guess that makes you stupid, lazy, unambitious and a psycho. I hope you have a nice life when you get one. Love always...Togan.

Okay, then. A couple of messages were also sent to myspace, and for the sake of clarity, and knowing I’m breaking a net taboo by posting a private message in public, here they are, oldest first:

Date: Apr 23, 2006 10:00 PM

I just saw what you typed about me on your blog and I thought that even though it took me two years to see it it warranted a comment, so I left you one under where you said you hope I fucking choke. I know I called the other night b/c I was thinking about you but that was before I saw that shit. Seriously, what did I do to you that was so bad that you carried it with you for that long? Its too bad that you feel the way that you do b/c I think that at one time we may have been able to be friends. I would really really love to know what I did to you and what about me am I supposed to change? Please dont blog anything about me anymore. I have never been mean or hateful to you EVER. I have never wished anything bad on you b/c I have nothing against you. I even heard you were talking shit about me not to lomg ago when I was hanging out with a guy friend of mine who was an ex of some gal pal of yours. Had to start some shit there too I guess. I would really hope you can get over whatever it is that you think that I did to you Mike. It must be miserable to walk through life holding onto something like that. I know it sucks to be heartbroken, I have been there too but EVENTUALLY you get over it and move on. When is that going to happen for you ? I am sorry that I ever bothered you by calling you, I thought that maybe we could talk and even possibly be friends but you would rather hang onto to some idiotic shit that happened 10 years ago. Life is too short to hold grudges against people for shit they did when they were younger and immature. If you ever let go of you anger, Im here to talk if you want b/c I feel bad that you still feel this way after so long.


At this point, I go and check out the message she left me under the post.
Okay, fine. She vented. I was a dick But isn't this the entry she called me about the other week? She seemed okay with it then. What gives? So I wrote back:

From: Livingdead
Date: Apr 23, 2006 11:39 PM

Hold up a second. NOW you're pissed? NOW you just found that article? Then which fucking entry you were talking about when you called me the other night?

Her response:

Apr 24, 2006 5:53 AM
There was one where you were professing your undying love for me...there isnt much telling how many you have on there. I just dont understand why someone would post such personal shit online for the world to read, so much for inner most thoughts and privacy. I wasnt mad when I read the first one but then I saw the other one and it pissed me off. So, I thought I would rant online about it...that seems to be the "in" thing to do among you kids. Anyway, I would appreciate you deleting the entries about me. Thanks.



My What for Who now?

So, from what I'm gathering (and being somewhat of a sensationalist about, I’ll admit) is that ALL my online writings, for the last two and a half years, have been nothing but a pining ode to the one who broke my heart oh so long ago because I am that fucked up in the head.

Allow me to set the record straight.

I've written a little over 350 entries since I started back in Nov 2003. For the Egosurfer in question, Your name pops up a total of twice out of all those entries. One of them being "choke". Yeah, That paragraph is definitely about you. Guilty as charged. However, the one where I am professing my "undying love?"

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. AT ALL. the reason your name was there was because it was used as an example by an ex, who, if you had read the fucking articles surrounding the time, was the one I was pining about because that breakup WAS my fault. You see, I really don't have a problem admitting my problems when they are very clearly mine. I will whine bitch and moan about how it isn't fair, but anyone who has truly come to known me (and you can't even pretend to know me these days) in my years after you would know that I will also own up to what is clearly my fault. Running off my last ex because I wouldn’t listen to her for the world, because I was afraid of ending up being controlled and manipulated much like you did me? My fault, fair and square. She went through Hell and back dealing with my fucked up notions of a relationship after you. I wish things ended differently with her because I actually did love her, and always will love her in some fashion because after it went down, She still actually gave a damn about me. But, you, it took me a while to understand it afterwards, but much like you, I wasn’t in love with you. I had no fucking clue what love was, and trying to learn it from you was, to put it bluntly, a fucking disaster.

Right now, I'm failing to find any fault on my part concerning our breakup (which, by the way, we dated in 97, not 96, but this is nitpicking compared to everything else I’m about to get into). But then again, I'm a fucking psycho, a stalker (funny, I haven't been the one calling you up every few years since 99), and fucking stupid, right?
I was fine before I met you. I guess there's only so much one can take before a the synapses begin firing off-sequence.

So, what did you do? Here are a few that I can remember at the moment:

Arguing about a Dream I had about an imaginary woman in my English class

Arguing about letting Weston sit in the front seat (I had known her longer, and she was getting out of the car before you, WTF? Swallow your pride)

Arguing about a comment I made about a girl who was my friend.

Physical Injuries (what, You don't remember sucker-punching me new years eve because I said I didn't want to drive home drunk just so you could sleep in a bed? Or the time you nearly put my eye out on my own bedpost at SIU? I sure do.)

Speaking of SIU....

Remember when you called me on the phone and broke up with me because "the distance was unbearable?" One of the greatest mistakes in my life was calling you back and begging you to give me another chance (like I had done something wrong in the first place). I was so emotionally weak back then, and you just fed on it like a starving vampire. In fact, I think that's why you kept calling every couple of years, because you'd need some quick fix off of someone you can make snide remarks to and not have them call you a sloppy cunt.


Anyway, back to the list...


Abandoning my friends to spend all my time with you and your friends because you hated them (my friends, that is). Half of them YOU NEVER EVEN FUCKING MET. It took me the better half of two years to get back in their good graces again.


Having to deal with your temper tantrums anytime I didn't feel like driving all the fucking way over to your house to pick you up (Jesus Fucking Christ, I just got home from school), just to drive back over to my house and most likely have a long, boring argument about something already mentioned above.


Bitching about how I didn't have money, then, when I got a job, how I had such shitty pay, whilst YOU quit a job within a week of starting it and never got another one the rest of the time we were dated. Yet, I was the bum because I never had enough money for the both of us.

Your snide-ass “witty” remarks about everything and anything I did and that I didn't know shit because I was a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR younger than you so my points were invalid.

Getting unceremoniously dumped on Valentine's Day in front of your friends, and watching you take off and hook up with some high school kid the same goddamned night. Yeah, I bet you were really hurting inside from the breakup(You know, that always felt like a fucking setup between you and your friends, But I’ll never know) But You know, you never did anything wrong. You never meant to hurt me. You just tore out anything resembling feelings, that's all.



So there ya go. That pretty much sums up how I feel you wronged me. I probably could have summed it up by saying "you were a fucking bitch" but you deserve to know in detail what it was that caused me to hate you for so long, and why I wished so much ill will on you. The only thing that sucks about this whole sordid mess is that it took so long for me to find the voice to stand up to you and your manipulative ways, and that it came about as a result of a grossly overrated misunderstanding on your behalf about how I still held feelings for you. The fact is that I wrote that before we had made up. You talk about how I'm the one holding onto the past; you're really one to talk, commenting on an old article. Pot, meet Kettle.

After all is said and done, I don't wish you dead anymore. I simply don't care anymore. I haven't for a long while, but apparently you seem to think I still did. Hopefully, I have corrected this errant line of thinking. You are an example of a dark time in my life that I long ago swore I will NEVER go back to in a relationship: The mealy-mouthed little boy who kowtowed to you is no more. I don't want to hear how sorry you are about how things turned out between us. I don't want to be your friend; I don't want to hear anymore about you, period. I am done with you. All that I ever care to read about you is in my archives, which I am not deleting for your sake. Don't like it? Tough shit, don't read it. Go whine about how much of a prick I am on your blog. Or not. I don’t care what you do anymore.

Don't call me.
Don't message me on Myspace.
Don't Comment on my website.
Don't talk to me in public.
Ever.


Stay out of my life.


Mike

Upgraded Blog code in an effort to reduce spammers throwing thier shit in older posts.

shit's going to look wonky for a bit while i iron out the bugs.

Stay with me though. there's good stuff coming. i promise.

Yay. Friday night, and I'm at home. I went drinking with moms last night becuase well, I had nothing else better to do. Actually, I drank, she drove my stupid-drunk ass home. Then I had to work this morning-which was about as fun as a pants full of hungry Graboids.

I should've went and watched Silent Hill like I was going to. Goddamnit i'm too indecisive.

Well, fuck this "single, no free friends tonight, and bored" shit. I'm going to go and find some trouble.

Site update tomorrow. I PROMISE.




I know I won't be leaving here with you

So, I watched Hostel Today after work. Not too shabby, if I say so myself.

But, I do have an issue with the whole premise of the movie, which I am going to try to explain as best as I can without actually spoiling the movie, for those of you interested in seeing it.

The thing I don't particularly care for is the ignorant fear that it will generate in americans about traveling abroad(nevermind the indifferent mentality Americans have towards any country that isn't "Americanized") As it stands, a low number of Americans even own a passort(Actual estimates vary, but generally the WAG is about 20%. You're welcome to Come to your own conclusion By taking a look at a more in-depth, but a few years outdated, summary here), and Hostel isn't going to help get more out of the reclining chair and out to see the world at large.

I know that it sounds absolutely retarded that a movie would cause such a negative opoinion within the general public, but allow me to offer two completely subjective, and convincing supporting facts:

EXHIBIT A: Every single fucktard that asked me "Can the tanning bed scene in Final Destination 3 really happen?".

EXHIBIT B: People actually believe that "The Texas Chainsaw Massacare" actually happened.

I rest my case, your honor.


Keep your eyes peeled. Uncle Livingdead's got some goodies for you that will appear within the next couple of days.



We'll ride the spiral to the end
And may just go where no one's been

It's about time.

Not much to say. So-so weekend. some parts good, other parts I wasn't too happy about.

And I can't say much more than that for now. My brain is mush right now from a lot of things, and I don't have much to say.

More later, after I purge my thought patterns.


I wanna love some more
It'll never be the same
A broken heel like a heart
I'll never walk again

Awwwww fuckjizzles, 'tis friday and I'm all ready to do... something.

If there is one game I figured I would have been tired of by now, it's God of War. I re-rented it earlier this week, and goddamn I can't get enough of it. There's something therapeutic about kicking right into a game where the goal is absolution, revenge, and killing every motherfucker that stands in your path that just rings true to me. After a long week of dealing with the public, it satisfies in a way that no Snickers bar ever could.

Also, I found a 40 gig Hard drive just hanging around, and slapped it into Compy 2.0. Now I have space to spare for my music. Beforehand, I had about 7 megs left on a 15 gig drive, so I couldn't rip any of my new CD's and keep it all centrally located. I'm happy not to have my music in one place instead of scattered across an array of three drives. So now, I have a 15 gig drive free that I'm thinkin of either slapping into the original Compy and installing Slackware onto, or somehow converting it into an mp3 server. and wiring it to the stereo. Why? Becuase I'm fucking hardcore nerd, yo.

Also, I'm becoming an effective Zombie-killing Machine on Urban Dead and I Love it. So now you have more reasons why I haven't done that thing i've been talking about with the pictures and the sidebar box. can you say 'procrastinator'? Also, can you say shitty sentance structure?

Now I am going to go find something to do that is most likely nonproductive.


To be there is all I could do
Is that so wrong
Just one care is all I could find
Now it's gone

I just left my conditioner, body wash, and deodorant in the parking lot of Wal-mart. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKGODDAMNITHEADSMASHINGINTODESK.

I'm done. Goodnight everybody.

capitalism has made it this way,
old-fashioned fascism will take it away

Walk a line with me as we go into pretend-land.

Today, The Illinois House of Representatives voted unanimously to condemn Livingdead because he has a foul mouth, and forthwith, is a bad person based on the fact that he eats babies and kicks little old ladies into busy freeways. Also, he's a doodyhead and has an ugly face. We can't outright ban him without a legal headache, but our offical opinion for the good of the republic is this: Don't listen to him. Don't read him. Don't Acknowledge his existence. Thank you, God bless america, and freedom costs a buck o'five...

"Well, that was pretty damn stupid." You say? I'd Agree if it wasn't for the fact that The Pennsylvania House of Representives did just that with a game called "25 to Life" last week. The PA HoR took the time, effort, and most importantly, taxpayer money, to condemn this game and express support for National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund and it's plan to collect a bunch of signatures online in efforts to boycott this game.

Your tax dollars at work.

Here's why I'm a bit livid about the whole matter. It's all an elaborate "feel good" issue, with a bit of a "For the children!!!!!" aftertase that solves absolutely nothing. Proclaiming that you're against a game that allows you to shoot cops, and then patting yourself on the back about it with a resolution makes as much sense as taking a firm stance against smashing kittens in the face with shovels.

Look, let me give you a legitimate reason to boycott this game where the roots aren't tied to the premise of censorship: "25 to Life" sucks worse than a teenaged meth whore trying to come up with the last ten bucks to buy a foilie.

Repetitive gameplay that's been done better by other games, a hackneyed plot, and subpar graphics bolstered up by a "hey look! We're GTA EXTREEEEEEEEMMMMME" ad campaign. The only people who ended up buying this game upon release is the fucktards who bought EVERY Mature-rated game becuase it either dropped a new curse word, had some new way of spilling blood and gore, or showed promise of a lot of sexual innuendo(I dealt with a lot of this type back in my EB days).

The only other fucktards that would buy this game is the moron parents who just want to shut the fuck trophy up becuase they've howled incessantly about the game, and don't pay attention to what they're purchasing("Ma'am, are you sure you want to buy 'Murder Fuckfeast 6' for your 10 year old? it's Really not for chil-" "Shut up and give me the goddamn game! it's for Christmas! Christ I need a Prozac!"). Then, They go all moral outrage once they get home and see that little Johnny isn't playing Pokemon, but instead severing heads off of zombies and having digital sex with them(I dealt with a couple of these, as well).

Anyway, my point is that time could have been better wasted on a dozen other things other than passing laws that express an opinion. If this is SOP, Then Where do I sign up to introduce a bill comdemning the Song "My Humps"? Because I really hate that fucking song and want my opinion, as well as the leglislative body's opinions about this abortion of a song, enshrined into law.

The game is it's own worst enemy. Stop giving it press by calling it 'controversial' and see how quick it will die away. Anyone remember "Sword of the Berserk"? "Kingpin"? "Panty Raider"? Anyone? Bueller?

Don't even get me started on online petitions and thier usefulness.




Sathington willoughby
The legislator that
Penned us up a bill
That banned the use
Of certain things like this and that

And now for something completely different.

I'm a dick because I don't call people back. I have a horrible record of that. and text messages, I'm not so good at that either. or email. Might as well throw that one in, too.

And I still haven't done that work on the site itself yet. I'm such a lazy fuck. This is what happens when you have an (nearly)unrestrained addiction to Diablo 2 co-op.

Is there something going on next weekend? I was planning on going to springfield becuase I wanted to see the Jacksonville crew, but I was reminded that next weekend is easter weekend, and that's when Jesus died, came back and passed out Wal-Mart candy to all the kids or something. Anyway, so no trip to Central Il this weekend. My question is WTF is going on, then?

Anywho, I have to sign off now becuase of that whole work thing I got going on tomorrow morning.


If you're bored, check out Petra Haden's rendition of Thriller.


I'm still confusing love with need

New linkage added.

Alrighty then, enough of the morse code. I don't have much time, but I thought I'd throw a quick one up.

First off: What the hell is "Save the date"? Everytime I hear that phrase, it makes me think that the art of dating(which I am no master of, let's be honest here) is in some state of emergency and needs a cash infusion by way of a benefit concert. I get that it's the new, hip way to say "We're getting married!" but why that phrase? Could we get an expert in here, please? Yes, I'm calling you out, Tman and Sarah.

I got some upkeep I got scheduled with the site in the next couple of days. That's basically a fancy way of saying "I'm going to try to figure out how to clone another one of those side boxes in HTML, and I'm most likely going to fuck it up, so bear with me". I got myself an SD card Reader about two weeks ago, and I've yet to install it onto my compy. Kinda shows you what to expect out of me as far as getting my photo archive back online. That, and I want to gauge How much bandwidth it might eat up.

Anyway, time to commute to work. More later, if I don't get sucked back into Urban Dead or whatever else I might find to amuse my time.


We can be numb

- .... .. ... / .. ... / -- -.-- / .- .--. .-. .. .-.. / ..-. --- --- .-.. ... / .--- --- -.- . .-.-.- / - .... . .-. . / .- .-. . / -- .- -. -.-- / .-.. .. -.- . / .. - --..-- / -... ..- - / - .... .. ... / --- -. . / .. ... / -- .. -. . .-.-.- / -.. . .- .-. / ... .. .-. / -..-. / -- .- -.. .- -- --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / -- .- -.-- / -... . / ... ..- .-. .--. .-. .. ... . / - --- / .-. . -.-. . .. ...- . / - .... .. ... / .-.. . - - . .-. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- . / ... .. -. -.-. . / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- -. .----. - / -.- -. --- .-- / -- . / .--. . .-. ... --- -. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- .-.-.- / .. / .- -- / -- .-. .-.-.- / ... - . ...- . / .--. . -.. .-. --- / - .... . / ... --- -. / --- ..-. / -.. .-. / .--- --- .... -. / .--. . -.. .-. --- --..-- / .-- .... --- / .-- .- ... / .-. . -.-. . -. - .-.. -.-- / -- ..- .-. -.. . .-. . -.. / .. -. / - .... . / .-.. .- -. -.. / -.. .. ... .--. ..- - . / .. -. / --.. .. -- -... .- -... .-- . .-.-.- / .. / --. --- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -.-. --- -. - .- -.-. - / - .... .-. --- ..- --. .... / -. . - .-- --- .-. -.- / --- -. .-.. .. -. . / .. -. / -- -.-- / ... . .- .-. -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / .- / .-. . .-.. .. .- -... .-.. . / .- -. -.. / .-. . .--. ..- - .- -... .-.. . / .--. . .-. ... --- -. / - --- / .... .- -. -.. .-.. . / .- / ...- . .-. -.-- / -.-. --- -. ..-. .. -.. . -. - .. .- .-.. / - .-. .- -. ... .- -.-. - .. --- -. / .-- .... .. -.-. .... / .. -. ...- --- .-.. ...- . ... / .- / - .-. .- -. ... ..-. . .-. / --- ..-. / ..-. ..- -. -.. / - --- / .- / ..-. --- .-. . .. --. -. / .- -.-. -.-. --- ..- -. - / .- -. -.. / .. / -.. . -.-. .. -.. . -.. / - --- / .-- .-. .. - . / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / -- -.-- / .-.. .- - . / ..-. .- - .... . .-. / .-- .- ... / .- -- --- -. --. / - .... . / --.. .. -- -... .- -... .-- . .- -. / .-. .. -.-. .... / ..-. .- .-. -- . .-. ... / -- ..- .-. -.. . .-. . -.. / .. -. / -.-. --- .-.. -.. / -... .-.. --- --- -.. / -... -.-- / - .... . / .- --. . -. - ... / --- ..-. / - .... . / .-. ..- .-.. .. -. --. / --. --- ...- . .-. -. -- . -. - / --- ..-. / .--. .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - / .-. --- -... . .-. - / -- ..- --. .- -... . / ..-. --- .-. / .... .. ... / .- .-.. .-.. . --. . -.. / ... ..- .--. .--. --- .-. - / .- -. -.. / ... -.-- -- .--. .- - .... -.-- / ..-. --- .-. / - .... . / --.. .. -- -... .- -... .-- . .- -. / --- .--. .--. --- ... .. - .. --- -. / .--. .- .-. - -.-- / -.-. --- -. - .-. --- .-.. .-.. . -.. / -... -.-- / - .... . / .-- .... .. - . / -- .. -. --- .-. .. - -.-- .-.-.- / -... . ..-. --- .-. . / .... .. ... / -.. . .- - .... / .... . / .... .- -.. / - .- -.- . -. / - --- / .--- --- .... .- -. -. . ... -... ..- .-. --. / ... --- ..- - .... / .- ..-. .-. .. -.-. .- / - --- / -.. . .--. --- ... .. - / - .... . / ... ..- -- / --- ..-. / ..- ... / ..--- ..... .-.-.- ..... / -- .. .-.. .-.. .. --- -. / -.--.- - .-- . -. - -.-- / ..-. .. ...- . / -- .. .-.. .-.. .. --- -. / ..-. .. ...- . / .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. / - .... --- ..- ... .- -. -.. / ..- -. .. - . -.. / ... - .- - . ... / -.. --- .-.. .-.. .- .-. ... -.--.- .-- .. - .... / .- / ... . -.-. ..- .-. .. - -.-- / .- -. -.. / ..-. .. -. .- -. -.-. . / -.-. --- -- .--. .- -. -.-- / .- ... / .. ..-. / .... . / ..-. --- .-. . ... .- .-- / - .... . / .-.. --- --- -- .. -. --. / -.. .- -. --. . .-. / .. -. / --.. .. -- -... .- -... .-- . .-.-.- / - .... . / -- --- -. . -.-- / .-- .- ... / -.. . .--. --- ... .. - . -.. / .. -. / .- / -... --- -..- / .- ... / ...- .- .-.. ..- .- -... .-.. . ... / - --- / .- ...- --- .. -.. / -- ..- -.-. .... / -.. . -- ..- .-. .-. .- --. . / ..-. .-. --- -- / - .... . / ... . -.-. ..- .-. .. - -.-- / -.-. --- -- .--. .- -. -.-- .-.-.- / - .... .. ... / -- --- -. . -.-- / .-- .- ... / . -- -... .- .-. -.- . -.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / - .... . / .--. ..- .-. -.-. .... .- ... . / --- ..-. / -. . .-- / -- .- -.-. .... .. -. . .-. -.-- / .- -. -.. / -.-. .... . -- .. -.-. .- .-.. / ..-. --- .-. / ..-. .- .-. -- ... / .- -. -.. / - .... . / . ... - .- -... .-.. .. ... .... -- . -. - / --- ..-. / -. . .-- / ..-. .- .-. -- ... / .. -. / .-.. . ... --- - .... --- / .- -. -.. / ... .-- .- --.. .. .-.. .- -. -.. .-.-.- / - .... .. ... / .-.. .- -. -.. / .--. .-. --- -... .-.. . -- / .- .-. --- ... . / .-- .... . -. / .--. .-. . ... .. -.. . -. - / .-. --- -... . .-. - / -- ..- --. .- -... . / .. -. - .-. --- -.. ..- -.-. . -.. / .- / -. . .-- / .-.. .- -. -.. / .- -.-. - / - .... .- - / .-- .... --- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .- ..-. ..-. . -.-. - . -.. / - .... . / .-. .. -.-. .... / .-- .... .. - . / ..-. .- .-. -- . .-. ... / .- -. -.. / ... --- -- . / ..-. . .-- / -... .-.. .- -.-. -.- ... / ...- . .... . -- . -. - .-.. -.-- / -.-. --- -. -.. . -- -. . -.. / - .... . / .-..-. -- --- -.. ..- ... / --- .--. . .-. .- -. -.. .. .-..-. / .- -.. --- .--. - . -.. / -... -.-- / - .... . / --. --- ...- . .-. -. -- . -. - .-.-.- / - .... .. ... / .-. . ... ..- .-.. - . -.. / - --- / .-. .- -- .--. .- -. - / -.- .. .-.. .-.. .. -. --. / .- -. -.. / -- --- -... / .- -.-. - .. --- -. / -... -.-- / - .... . / .-- .- .-. / ...- . - . .-. .- -. ... / .- -. -.. / ... --- -- . / .--. --- .-.. .. - .. -.-. .- .-.. / - .... ..- --. ... / .--. .-. . -.-. .. ... . .-.. -.-- --..-- / -- --- .-. . / - .... .- -. / - .... .. .-. - -.-- -....- --- -. . / .--. . --- .--. .-.. . / .... .- ...- . / ... --- / ..-. .- .-. / -... . . -. / -.- .. .-.. .-.. . -.. .-.-.- / .... . .- -.. ... / --- ..-. / --. --- ...- . .-. -. -- . -. - ... / ..-. .-. --- -- / - .... . / .-- . ... - --..-- / . ... .--. . -.-. .. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / -... .-. .. - .- .. -. / .- -. -.. / ..- -. .. - . -.. / ... - .- - . ... / --- ..-. / .- -- . .-. .. -.-. .- / .... .- ...- . / ...- --- .. -.-. . -.. / - .... . .. .-. / -.-. --- -. -.. . -- -. .- - .. --- -. / --- ..-. / -- ..- --. .- -... . .----. ... .--. .-.. .- -. .-.-.- / ... ..- -... ... . --.- ..- . -. - .-.. -.-- --..-- / ... --- ..- - .... / .- ..-. .-. .. -.-. .- -. / -.. . ...- . .-.. --- .--. -- . -. - / -.-. --- -- -- ..- -. .. - -.-- / .... .- ... / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- --- ..- ... .-.. -.-- / ... ..- .--. .--. --- .-. - . -.. / -- ..- --. .- -... . .----. ... / -. . .-- / .-.. .- -. -.. / .- -.-. - --..-- / .. - / .. ... / .- --. .- .. -. ... - / - .... .. ... / -... .- -.-. -.- --. .-. --- ..- -. -.. / - .... .- - / .. / .- -. -.. / -- -.-- / ..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- / .-- .... --- / .- .-. . / -.-. ..- .-. .-. . -. - .-.. -.-- / .-. . ... .. -.. .. -. --. / .. -. / ... --- ..- - .... / .- ..-. .-. .. -.-. .- / .... .- ...- . / -.. . -.-. .. -.. . -.. / - --- / - .-. .- -. ... ..-. . .-. / -- -.-- / ..-. .- - .... . .-. .----. ... / -- --- -. . -.-- / .. -. - --- / .- / ..-. --- .-. . .. --. -. / .- -.-. -.-. --- ..- -. - .-.-.- / .- ... / - .... . / . .-.. -.. . ... - / ... --- -. / --- ..-. / -- -.-- / ..-. .- - .... . .-. --..-- / .. / .- -- / ... .- -.. -.. .-.. . -.. / .-- .. - .... / - .... . / .-. . ... .--. --- -. ... .. -... .. .-.. .. - -.-- / --- ..-. / ... . . -.- .. -. --. / .- / --. . -. ..- .. -. . / ..-. --- .-. . .. --. -. / .- -.-. -.-. --- ..- -. - / .-- .... . .-. . / - .... .. ... / -- --- -. . / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / -... . / - .-. .- -. ... ..-. . .-. .-. . -.. / .-- .. - .... --- ..- - / - .... . / -.- -. --- .-- .-.. . -.. --. . / --- ..-. / -- -.-- / --. --- ...- . .-. -. -- . -. - / .-- .... --- / .- .-. . / - .- -.-. - .. -.-. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / ..-. .-. . . --.. .. -. --. / --- ..- .-. / ..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- / .-- . .- .-.. - .... / .- -. -.. / ... --- ..- - .... / .- ..-. .-. .. -.-. .- .----. ... / --. --- ...- . .-. -. -- . -. - / ... . . -- ... / - --- / -... . / .--. .-.. .- -.-- .. -. --. / .- .-.. --- -. --. / .-- .. - .... / - .... . -- .-.-.- / .. / .- -- / ..-. .- -.-. . -.. / .-- .. - .... / - .... . / -.. .. .-.. . -- -- .- / --- ..-. / .. -. ...- . ... - .. -. --. / - .... .. ... / -- --- -. . -.-- / .. -. / ... --- ..- - .... / .- ..-. .-. .. -.-. .- / ..-. --- .-. / ..-. . .- .-. / --- ..-. / . -. -.-. --- ..- -. - . .-. .. -. --. / - .... . / ... .- -- . / . -..- .--. . .-. .. . -. -.-. . / .. -. / ..-. ..- - ..- .-. . / ... .. -. -.-. . / -... --- - .... / -.-. --- ..- -. - .-. .. . ... / .... .- ...- . / .- .-.. -- --- ... - / - .... . / ... .- -- . / .--. --- .-.. .. - .. -.-. .- .-.. / .... .. ... - --- .-. -.-- .-.-.- / -- --- .-. . / ... --- --..-- / - .... . / ... --- ..- - .... / .- ..-. .-. .. -.-. .- -. / ..-. --- .-. . .. --. -. / . -..- -.-. .... .- -. --. . / .--. --- .-.. .. -.-. -.-- / -.. --- . ... / -. --- - / .- .-.. .-.. --- .-- / ... ..- -.-. .... / .. -. ...- . ... - -- . -. - / .... . -. -.-. . / .-- . / .- .-. . / ... . . -.- .. -. --. / ..-. --- .-. / .- -. / .-..-. .- ... -.-- .-.. ..- -- .-..-. .-.-.- / .- ... / .- / -... ..- ... .. -. . ... ... / .--. . .-. ... --- -. / .-- .... --- -- / .. / . -. - .-. ..- ... - . -.. / -- -.-- / ..-. ..- - ..- .-. . / .- -. -.. / - .... .- - / --- ..-. / -- -.-- / ..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- / .. -. - --- / .... .. ... / .... .- -. -.. ... --..-- / .. / -- ..- ... - / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... .- - / - .... .. ... / - .-. .- -. ... .- -.-. - .. --- -. / .. ... / .---- ----- ----- / .-. .. ... -.- / ..-. .-. . . / .- -. -.. / - .... . / -. .- - ..- .-. . / --- ..-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -... ..- ... .. -. . ... ... / -.. --- . ... / -. --- - / -. . -.-. . ... ... .- .-. .. .-.. -.-- / -- .- - - . .-. .-.-.- / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- ... ... .. ... - .- -. -.-. . --..-- / .-- . / .- .-. . / --- ..-. ..-. . .-. .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- / ...-- ----- / --- ..-. / - .... . / - --- - .- .-.. / ... ..- -- --..-- / -.... ----- / ..-. --- .-. / -- . / .- -. -.. / -- -.-- / ..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- / .-- .... .. .-.. . / .---- ----- / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / -- .- .--. .--. . -.. / --- ..- - / ..-. --- .-. / .- -. -.-- / . -..- .--. . -. ... . ... / .-- . / -- .- -.-- / .. -. -.-. ..- .-. . / -.. ..- .-. .. -. --. / - .... . / -.-. --- ..- .-. ... . / --- ..-. / - .... .. ... / - .-. .- -. ... .- -.-. - .. --- -. .-.-.- / .-- . / .-- .. ... .... / - --- / .. -. ...- . ... - / --- ..- .-. / .--. .- .-. - / --- ..-. / - .... . / -- --- -. . -.-- / --- -. / -.-. --- -- -- . .-. -.-. .. .- .-.. / .--. .-. --- .--. . .-. - -.-- / -... .- ... . -.. / --- -. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- -.. ...- .. -.-. . .-.-.- / ..-. .. -. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- --..-- / .- .-.. .-.. / .-- . / -.. . -- .- -. -.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -.-- --- ..- / .. ... / .- ... ... ..- .-. .- -. -.-. . / - .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -. --- - / ... .. - / --- -. / - .... .. ... / -- --- -. . -.-- / .-- .... . -. / .. - / ..-. .. -. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / --. . - ... / - --- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .--. . .-. ... --- -. .- .-.. / --- .-. / -.-. --- -- .--. .- -. -.-- .----. ... / .- -.-. -.-. --- ..- -. - / .. -. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -.-. --- ..- -. - .-. -.-- .-.-.- / .. ..-. / - .... .. ... / .--. .-. --- .--. --- ... .- .-.. / .. ... / .- -.-. -.-. . .--. - .- -... .-.. . / -... -.-- / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . / -.-. --- -. ..-. .. .-. -- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .. -. - . .-. . ... - / ...- .. .- / - .... . / .- -... --- ...- . / - . .-.. / -. ..- -- -... . .-. / --- .-. / . -....- -- .- .. .-.. / -- . .-.-.- / -... . ... - / .-. . --. .- .-. -.. ... --..-- / ... - . ...- . / .--. . -.. .-. --- / -.--.- ..-. --- .-. / - .... . / ..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- -.--.- .-.-.-


-. --- / --- -. . .----. ... / .... . .- .-. -.. / .- / ... .. -. --. .-.. . / .-- --- .-. -.. / .. .----. ...- . / ... .- .. -..

All I seem to be doing recently is running commentary on the weird-ass instances I'm having at work. As much as I don't like running a good thing into the ground, I do have another wonderful story featuring one of our more dysfunctional residents of C-town.

I was on my way to work sunday, and I see someone on a bike heading in the same direction. Once I catch a glimpse of who it is, I make the sign of the cross and hope that said person has no reason to come to the store. Well, that cross thing doesn't seem to work for little heathens like myself. Not twenty minutes into my shift, said person comes in. And while I was in the middle of looking up a title for a customer, he marches right in and launches into a barrage of words. I can't understand him very well because he sounds like I did when I young before I had my tongue clipped, only there's more screeching and TALKING AT THE TOP OF THE LUNGS in his voice.

The first words I can recognize is "You, know, Peaches?" and points to a missing cat poster we have up in the window.

"Uh, yeah. What about him?"

"well, I found him."

"Okay."

"I burned it, took off it's collar, and threw it in the drain."


"..." Yeah. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.


"I just thought I should let you know."


"Huh. Well... thanks for telling me, But I think the owners would like to know. You should call them." At this point I'm looking for the sharpest object I can field in case he decides to come over the counter, because this kid(and by "kid", I mean "twenty-three") is apparently a fucking loon. Hopefully, he's also stupid enough to call the owner and tell them this story, as said owner is a cop and, hopefully, able to shoot dangerously crazy people.

He nods, asks for a pen and paper, goes outside, takes down the number, and takes off on his bike. And that's that.



Now, let me let you in on a little secret. My various jobs with the public have allowed me to play host to, in scientific terms, a lot of weird-ass shit(I seem attract the strange, and have been known to be a bit strange myself). But I've always been a bit jealous of the brothers Jones, as they always had a story that one-upped anything I had: their youthful experience with a certain boy who, as the legend goes, "poop his pants".

I am longer jealous, for now I have my very own J McP story to tell.


Besides having my own J McP experience now, there is a silver lining: I called the owners, and they said that their cat doesn't have a collar. So sleep a little easier knowing that someone's pet wasn't burned to death and thrown callously into the gutter.


Seriously, what the fuck? That’s got "future serial killer" written all over it.




Are you devil's new?
Or are you spies?

I'm really beginning to hate thursdays.

There's this fucknut that came in today to start a new account to rent. At first things are going well, though I get the idea that he's only starting an account so this methed-out skank that lives near me can rent some movies becuase she's a goddamned fucktard and has a 50 dollar late charge and dosen't want to pay it. Case in point:

"Is there any way I can get my asshole husband off the account, start up an account under his name, and put the late charge on him? It's his fault, really."

"No. you allowed him to rent on your account when we opened this account up, remember?. You assumed liablity by letting him rent on your account. The late charge stays on your account."

"that's fuckin bullshit. it's his late charge." As you can see, the idea of responsibility is alive and well in this upstanding citizen.


Anyway, so I'm opening the new account, and I take a look at the Address. it's for a place in rural Marion. There's no fucking way I'm opening an account for someone who lives in Marion.

"Is this your current address?"

"No. I live here in town now."

"Well, I'm going to need a current piece of mail that shows where you currently live."

Here follows an annotated list of schemes they were going to use in order to bypass this little requirement:


1. The Paystub

"How about his tax refund stub? It's got his address on it..."

"I could take a paystub. Does it show where he currently lives?"

"No."

"I can't take it, then."

"But it's a federal taxstub!"

"With the wrong address. I need a current address."


2. The Second ID

"How about if I show you another ID with my address on it?"

"Okay." He hands me the ID. which now states that he lives in Sesser. Wow. Thanks, Dumbass.

"This isn't current, is it?"

"No. Like I said, I just moved here."

"well now that i've seen two pices of ID with two different addresses, I'm definately going to require a piece of mail that states your current address."


3. The Flyer

"How about this? will this work?"

"Sure. Now I just need a driver's license or State ID that says his name is "CURRENT RESIDENT".

Okay, I was a bit of a smartass, but seriously, WTF?



4. The Letter

"His dad is going to write him a letter to my house. will you take that?"

"No."

"Well why the fuck not?"

"Because it's just letter."

"But it's a piece of mail addressed to him! That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Oh, My. I see. I must have confused you. Let me clarify. I need one of the following: A rent reciept, a water bill, a light bill, a telephone bill, a voter registration card, or a new license or ID that has...his current address on it."


At this point the guy gets mad, says "fuck it", and starts for the door, on his way out, he retorts "fucking asshole." with the girl in tow, telling him to cool off. And they ride off back home upon thier BMX bike.

Oh no! I pissed off some white trash who most likely would have either Returned the movies late and never paid the late fee, if they even bothered to return them! How Can I Live With myself?

So...Guess who's NEVER getting a rental account now?


Come to daddy
Come to daddy
Come to daddy
Come to mummy

I remember saying that I was done with the S in an earlier post, and I think I really, really mean it this time. I had a good time friday night, but the juke still sucks(Seriously, WTF happend to the Tune Search?), and while I met a very cool person from Indiana that night(hi Jess if you're reading this, sorry about that night), it just dosen't feel like home anymore.

The only reason I even got out on St. Livingdead's Zombieabercrombiepocalypse now Day(the real name of St. patricks day and YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE FOOL) was because Hooter and her friend dragged me out to play some darts. They left after about an hour, and since I had to wait a while before getting back on Urban Dead(A game I like so much I have to plug twice) and there's only so much of Subspace I can take before I realise that I'm rotting away my friday night playing a ten year old online game. Not that I had much to do anyway, but regardless.

Saturday was an early wake up call for me thanks to Brandocrap, then right into my Meleemancer for some Nightmare Diablo 2. Mass dorkage ensued, then to Walt's for a lil gathering of Friends, moving back to the Slowbeks for cake and a game of dominoes. Thanks to Slowbek, I got to go all "high class an shit" with the lambrusco in a knockoff SOLO cup. rawk. Makes for a wonderful wine headache the next day, let me tell ya.

Well, time for a sad attempt at sleep so I can wake up for work. That's me being cheery.



There is no hell
Like an old hell

This story was going to be part of the earlier update, but this one needed to be told on it's own.

One of my tanners is a burnout. now, when I say "burnout", I really mean "rode hard, put up wet, then torn unceremoniously off the clothesline, beaten threadbare, and ran over by a convoy of semi's". Whatever drugs this woman was on at woodstock wasn't the "good shit", to say the least. I have problems with her being on time, and as we're fast approaching the high point fo the season, this is a problem.

Anyway, so said tanner comes in today, and wants to try a laydown bed. At first, I think she says she wants to go for four minutes, and since she mumbles like she's got a thousand dicks in her mouth and I'm hard of hearing, I ask her how long to confirm.

"I wanna go forty minutes."

"Forty minutes?"

"yeah."

"You can't go forty minutes. The max is twenty minutes."

"How about thirty minutes, then?"

"No. The max is twenty minutes."

"Okay then." with a scowl like I just killed her children.

"Your bed is ready."

A shake of my locks as she move towards thew salon, thinking mo more of her.

A few minutes pass, and another tanner comes in. I gotta go get the bed ready, and as I do so, I go past the room that Burnout is supposed to be in.

The door is wide open. The room, empty.

"Goddamnit, I don't believe this...."

I go back up front, see which machines are running, and find out Burnout slipped into the upgrade bed. I go back there, Knock on the door and yell "You're in the wrong bed. You're supposed to be in 2."

About ten minutes later, she still hasn't come out. A male tanner comes in, and I put him in a bed. I follow him back to knock on Burnout's door. On the way, the Door opens, and the male tanner quickly looks away as Burnout emerges from the door, complaining: "My bed won't turn on". Sadly, I don't catch the quick head turn and increased pace of the male tanner in time.

"That's because you're in the wron-OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKPUTYOURGODDAMNSHIRTONJESUSCHRISTITHINKIJUSTTURNEDGAY"

When I was young, I was lucky in the fact that I never had to deal with the whole "catching your parents having sex" situtation that ends up doing damage to a child's psyche. Seeing a pair Of dry leather fun bags on a nasty old hag should more than make up for that now.

Thank God I got the Weekend off so I can spend it Drinking myself retarded in a vain attempt to erase the vision of hell I witnessed at work today.

Got Bleach, Anyone?


I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits

Whereupon Livingdead answers some of the more interesting questions recieved during tanning season.

"No, I'm not going to let you sign up for a tanning package."

"Why not?"

"Because you're 11. The State of Illinois hates you, appearantly.


"Your tanning beds suck. How come I have white stripes running down My back? All my friends tell me they've never had that happen to them!"

"Look into something called 'pressure points'. I'm sure your friends have never had a problem with white stripes down the back, and that it would have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you are shaped and Look like Kraid."



"You don't look like you tan."

"I prefer to get my cancer the old fashioned way- By smoking and eating too much red meat, and getting married."

(A tanner comes in late)

"I have an appointment to tan..."

"I'm sorry, but I can't get you in."

"But I HAVE an appointment!"

"Yeah, I know. But since you're almost an hour late, and I Don't have a Time Machine, I can't work you in."


Do I Look like I'm getting darker?"

"Yeah, But you still need to do something about your ugly problem."

There was a bit more here I scribbled down as it happened, but I'm going to turn it into a post of it's own.


You don't use words like that
St. Louise is listening

Well, it was a crazy weekend, alright.

Thursday was spent working, getting out of town late, and getting to Lebanon to meet up with brando, whereupon we discussed things that pretty much bought us yet another upgrade package on the express airline to Hell. A little Stank and Spank, and bedtime for all parties.


Friday, Nunkie comes up, we meet up with an alumni who transplanted to Springfield and went barhopping. Sammy's sportbar to Two Brothers(sadly, by bartending angel wasn't there, le sigh) to a place called Coonrod's. Think Italian club in Springfield. Jamie D suggested the place, yet never been there. for all we knew, we coulda been walking into a gay biker bar. It ended up being cool. Mostly older clientele, but we were old drinking pals withthe bartender within the hour.

We watched the Illini Game(well, I drank myself stupid, they watched the game), and afterward some guy waved some money in my face and said "Hey, will ya play some music?"

"Sure, I guess." Thinking my selection was, much like the IC, was going to be limited country and AC/DC.

I couldn't have been more wrong. I started with some old crowd pleasers: Cash, Stones, and a couple of others I can't remember because I drank a lot, Then came the Massive attack, Portishead, Rentals("Holy shit! I can get the Rentals on here?") and Brando got the NIN on there, and that's when one of the regulars got pissy and complained to the bartend, who basically said "Sorry, but we don't get young ones in here that often, they paid for it, they get to hear it". Awesome.

Then there was the cool old guy with the business cards and other assorted practical jokes, but that's another story altogether. All in all, a fun night. A little drunken late night dinner at the Stank and Spank and off to bed.

Saturday was Gauntlet Dark Legacy(to wash out the awful taste of Seven Sorrows), Nunkie becoming horribly ill, and later on, me and Brandocrap meeting up with the Jacksonville tribe at Mowie's, and kicking ass at Shufflepuck against Gina and Jeff, and a nightcap at... you guessed it, Stank and Spank.

Sunday was the drive home, and some Nightmare Diablo 2.

All in all, a good weekend. But I'm pretty fucking sick of Steak and Shake.

Let's see what this week brings, and if I can keep away from Urban Dead to do an update about it.

This ain't no game
I'll show no shame
I'll birth this bane
I'll twist the game

Oy, I slacked off. Sorry about that folks.

This isn't going to be much of an update either, but hey I'm trying here. I haven't had much to say of late anyway

Heading up to Springfield in about an hour for a weekend of cra-zay. Was going to Chi-town for the southside irish parade, but that kinda fell through.

Anyway, it's that time of the year where they have come out of hiding. They, you ask? those malicious, hard to kill confections known as Peeps. Maybe this will give you a couple of ideas on what to do with those unamerican bastards. you DID know they were terrorists, didn't yoU?

pushed back to square
now that you've kneed her
in the throat
well there you go

Okay, enough of the creepy Dolph Lungren wannabe clones.

Generally, I don't like First person games on a console-based System. With the exception of a couple of games(Halo, Metroid Prime), when a FPS game is made or ported to a console system, i turn my nose up at it in disgust, having been bred, nursed, and sustained upon a steady diet of FPS games for the computer with the much more intuitive Mouse+keyboard Layout. a controller lags, and the analog sticks are a poor replacement for mouselook and a WASD setup.

Anyway, I've been playing a game called Black, and so far, it's been pretty interesting. Pretty nice story, decent graphics, decent control(for a console shooter) and the ability to blow shit up. My only qualm about it so far is that it's an EA games product, and I would rather eat shit-stained glass shards before I buy any of thier products becuase of thier business practices. Maybe i'm going into uber-dork land there, but buying exclusive rights to a sports franchise because Madden got the shit kicked out of it the year before by a 20 Dollar Game just kinda screams shady to me. It says "we can't make a better game, so we're going to shove the competition out of the picture because we're a bunch of pussies."

So sum it up, Black is worth taking a look at. And yes, that is the sound of Hell getting a bit chilly.

For those who didn't come for a video game review, Take a look at this. Maybe if the book was this exciting I would have read it. I gotta get ready and go to a wedding.

Nannou

This is where I'm supposed to say it's gone for good. things will never be the way they were, and I am happy for her, and that I am just better for the experience.

And this is where supposed to say that I failed and I'm going home. that I've lost the war, that I'm gonna man up, find a better one, and move on.

And this is where I'm supposed to say that it wasn't real anyway, that everything was a lie, and that it didn't and dosen't matter anymore.

And that's where the lie just falls apart.



I need to lose to make it right
I’ll confront the stars tonight

Oh. Your. God.

Words fail me. I don't think think there's a single word in the dictonary that could sum up what I just saw. I was going to actually talk about something, but I stumbled across this...Something, and promptly forgot any and all everything that I was going to talk about. It was nowhere near as important as to bestow this little wonder of the internet upon my... Hold on a second...dozens of loyal readers.

Look. Read. Laugh like it's me doing the numa numa dance.

I don't think it is after reading through some of the comments on the site, but I'm really hoping this is just a segment and not a representative of the upper east coast, though it could have a Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom enchantment to it. That is, if I get to dress up like Marlin Perkins. Otherwise, no deal.


Jesus. Can't...Stop...Staring. It's like a trainwreck that derailed into a jackknifed semi because a Chinook crashed on the interstate.

One of these days I'm going to a long update. Promise.


Thinking you’re the man but you’re only a stand in

Fuck me running, I'm a goddamned petri dish for disease. I catch my manager's flu last week, and now I got the trots. thanks, whoever gave me the 'rhea.

I'm sure that's exactly what you wanted to hear today. I'll bet you woke up, with one burning question on your mind: "just what is going through Livingdead's colon?" I'd be prepared to say that I have dumped the tattered remains of my mote of a soul into the mouth of an angry porcelain god.

Well, I hope I made your day. and I hope you were eating some delish, mushy chocolate-flavored ice cream when you were reading that. score me double points if the above is true. If not, then I'm sorry I ruined your appetite for said enticing soft-serve by talking about my pooping schedule. But hey, that's that blog's are for: Ego masturbation via having people read your most boring and/or sick details about your life.

More later, because I do actually have stuff to talk about. I gotta see about getting a tampon jammed up there for a bit or something. That's what you do with those things, right?


'Cause here me and KG come naked
Out of the side hatch
With the oils and perfume and incense

Being sick all weekend is AWESOME. I finally got to the point where I'm keep food down.
Heard it was a shitty weekend for a lot of people, too. I'm still not feeling all right in the head(but when have I ever been right in the head?) so this is it for tonight. didn't help that during one of my trips on the internet friday night I saw, bar none, one of the sickest sites I've ever seen. I'm not even going to post the link because it's just fucking gross. Sad part is i don't even think it's supposed to be a shock site.

Anywho, that's all for me. I'm going to finish being sick and bitter.


Disease, disease is draining me

Short and to the point. Just like me in sex HA HA

Eraser Has Colored himself Green. No one has figured out how yet.

Domino Is a kickass Movie and you should break your neck to see it. Awesome action flick.

Two hours of sleep + work=Loopy Livingdead.

As such, you get treated to a variation of the Nigerian advance fee fraud as read by Blackbeard:

Me name be Abdulla Hassan, A Bahrain national I ben diagnosed wi'
Oesophageal cancer .'t has defiled all forms o' medical treatment, an' starboard
now I be havin' only about a wee moons t' live, accordin' t' medical experts.
I be havin' nay particularly lived me life so well, as I nerereally
cared fer anyone(nay e'en myself)but me business. Tho I be very rich, I
be neregenerous, I be always hostile t' swabbies an' only focused on me
business as that be th' only thin' I cared fer. But now I regret all this
as I now know that thar be more t' life than jus' wantin' t' be havin' or make
all th' treasure in th' world. I believe when God gives me a second chance t'
come t' this world I would live me life a different way from how I be havin'
lived 't. Now that God has called
me, I be havin' willed an' gi'en most o' me property an' assets t' me
smart-like an' extended family members as well as a wee close shipmates .I
want
God t' be merciful t' me an' accept me soul so, I be havin' decided t' give alms
t' charity organizations, as I want this t' be one o' th' last good
deeds I do on earth. So far, I be havin' Distributed treasure t' some charity
organizations in th' U.A.E, Somalia an' Malaysia. Now that me health has
deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked
members o' me family t' close one o' me accounts an' distribute th' treasure
which I be havin' thar t' charity organization in Bulgaria an' Pakistan, they
refused an' kept th' treasure t' they's self. Hence, I do nay trust them
anymore, as they seem nay t' be contended wi' what I be havin' portfor them. Th'
last o' me treasure
which nay one knows o' be th' huge cash deposit o' Eighteen Million
pieces o' eight($18,000,000,00) that I be havin' wi' a finance House abroad. I
will want ye t' help me collect this deposit an' despatch 't t' charity
organizations.
N/B:KINDLY NOTE THAT 20% o' this funds must go t' th' tsunami victims
an' another 10% fer yer effort an' time.




Sorry this update sucks. I'm really tired and not making sense to myself.


Insomnia please release me and let me dream
About making mad love on the heath
Tearing off tights with my teeth

type type type this is my update

been killing a lot of time with some java games. hell i stopped writing this for half an hour becuase i was too bust playing War of the Hell. i orginally was going to talk about the Falling sand game(you can find the Orginal here), but i have found this weird ass site(i think it was on fark once or something) that has all thiese variations on falling sand and the aforemented "war of the hell")

yeah, sorry. started playing again. here's the link so some variations of the game. It's in some asian script, but the important stuff is in english. dick around with like and waste the rest of the evening, like i did.


okay, i really can't concentrate because i keep playing this stupid game. at least i'm off my Rumble Box Kick.


dont understand the three question marks
It's like a fire that won't go out

We're up, and we're running proper, after a long haitus, on my own domain, where I have more control over what happens to my site. I know the code better, and I feel more free to express myself.

I have my history up, which was very important to me. Going back and reading some of the things I wrote in the years past was like looking at a completely different person. Two years of wildly swinging emotions crammed into about a week span can really drain and jade a person.

Anyway, so here it is. I still have a couple of behind-the-scenes things to do, but from now on, this is where I'll be writing, So change your links accordingly, and i'll promise some decent updates as they happen.


if want is luxury and need is revenge
the need was burning holes in me last night

i'm missing a couple of updates from bloghorn around my birthday becuase honestly, bloghorn's Databasing is weird.

but otherwise, everything's on here.

long night. first real update tomorrow. maybe

Awesome. Banner works, thanks to Jehboah, as she is the one who did it.

and got my Favicon working. double sweet.

maybe I should work on content now.

DONE:
basic setup
some theme edits
Guilty parties
Linkage


TO DO:

more theme edits(as well as unused themes)
something about that "story so far" top banner
more categories
rub one out
start uploading old posts
faveIcon
Dissection table
test posting date manip


Not too shabby for the first day live, considering.
enough for now. sleepy time.

I'll have to dick with this more later. got real-world shit to do.

Hmm. this isn't too bad. let's see how mong before i bash up the page dicking around with this theme.

wow. talk that's horrible. side isn't dissapearing, but e v e r y t h i n g i s s t r e t c h e d o u t j u s t l i k e t h i s a nd f u c k i n g u p m y p a g e.

wow. I'm accomplishing nothing, showing off my horrible Photoediting skillz, while not doing anything to change the info. and i'm a jerk, to boot.

no wonder why i'm single.

but hey, i'm having fun doing it. and compulsively chronicling it as well.

jesus i have no life.

hmm. this theme looks easier to mash up. gotta get rid of those shadow peoples at the top, though.

goddamnit.

why does my side keep disappearing when i replace the header?

fuck

this going live? let's hope.

L to the Dead

Plans are...afoot.

Stay tuned....

Livingdead


I'm so alive my skin so cold and fake I close my eyes
I know that now's the time to take my chance with death and realize

Nails Rocked. Better than the STL show. Once I seen how tame GA was, I was wishing I had tix down there. but alas, I was resigned to the nosebleeds of section C, where the people "who came to see the band who did that closer to god song" where.

Seemed like the new songs were more refined this time than they were for the STL show, and I Loved the Fragile-era stuff they played, particularly Even Deeper and The Big Comedown, and glad they didn't play Starfuckers. No Love Is Not Enough, though, damnit, and no The Day the World Went away, but minor faults for an otherwise kickass show.

I'd love to get my hands on a boot of this show.


And now, time for work.

Livingdead







We gotta make them hear us in East Rekjavik

Sorry. been busy all week with work. I'm splitting time between two stores now, and I can't really say I enjoy it, But it gives me some more of the all-important money. I haven't had much to write about of late anyway. there's only so many ways you can write "Life sucks and I hate the world" before you start resorting to bad Poetry. and since i'm not a memeber of the cure or a teenaged goth/emo kid, i'll spare you.

Going to the NIN concert in champaign tonight, first concert of thier second leg of the tour, so hopefully it'll have a different setlist than what me, brandocrap, and slowbek saw in STL back in October.


Been playing a lot of Diablo 2 again, which is another reason why there haven't been many updates of late(especially on the weekend). It's a time-killer, and since the bars are in decline as of late, I'm down with that.

Working this Valentine's day. Yippee. I get to see a bunch of couple come in and rent movies that they aren't going to watch anyway. Fuck them. and fuck Valentine's Day. I hope the world ends that day.

ever the bitter peach,

Livingdead



i just made you up to hurt myself

Sometimes, I think of my semen as an Oort cloud.

Yeah, you think that’s disgusting, but try masturbating when you have that in your head coupled with a Primus Song. Really kills the mood.

I just had to share that with you.

And yes I know I’m a weirdo.


Livingdead


Here I come Constantinople
Here I come Constantinople
I am coming Constantinople
Here I come

So, I'm bored, I'm on the internet, and I couldn't will myself to go play a game(which is terrible, mind you).

what do I end up doing?

Watching TV. on the internets.

Now, you might be thinking "wow, that's pretty goddamn cool".
well, yes and no.

Going here will show you a metric assload of channels that broadcat on the internet. here's the problem: a good portion of it is Christian TV, and I like watching sermons and prayer sessions about as much as I like going to church(i.e. I don't).

the rest of it is community access, which given it's nature, isn't on at 4 in the morning. then you have the "business" channels, which are... you know what? let's just put it this way. it's not CATV. At least Cable has sometimes interesting infomercials.

So, enough of america's Suckass internet TV. Hey, i'm quasi-cultural, i'm willing to take a taste of the World. So I took a look at International Internet TV.

After an abortive attempt to find a Canadian Station that might have Women's Soccer or Hockey, i hopped over to Japan, to which I was treated to a lengthy interview of some J-pop musician who appearantly just had a new CD come out. Well, it's No tentacle-rape hentai, but i bet it was interesting, but that whole "I don't speak japanese" thing kinda interfered with me being able to understand what the hell they were saying.

So, i skip to a part of the world who is in the current events. Iran. there's a Network based out of LA, so maybe it's in english. Oil, Planes, Dead people, and other stuff, All in Persian. nope. this dosen't interest me either. thought the News Bits were Interspliced with some crazy Heavy techno, but that's about it. My American Attention span will not stand for this. I must find something NOW.

And then I did. stumbling upon The Netherland netTV Station festival TV was a god send. images of Hot chicks in bikinis on the beach, speaking Dutch(I assume), with music in english. Awesome.

I mean, how can you go wrong when you hear lyrics "let me entertain you" and "i wanna have sex on the Beach"? Well, Okay, There was a Male assshot, and more guys about that i would have cared for and then the beach boys played, and my Bikini Boobies were gone, replaced with concert footage of a group called Faithless. I wasn't too happy about my foreign bikini-clad boobies being replaced by a seal-looking guy hopping around on stage Singing Europop, but you know what? considering what else i had already watched tonight, I was content. hell, the song wasn't even half-bad. I'd listen to it again, maybe. But i'd much rather watch foreign Bikini Boobies. Mettchen, If you see this, could you give me an idea of what the hell I watched?

now I'm going to go to bed before i find out that all the channels I watched tonight were all cleverly-disguised Gospel Channels.



Livingdead



Just below my skin I'm screaming

Stuff to talk about, but I didn’t type it up becuase I got into a long IM conversation with a Lovely lady from upstate. I worked a split-shift monday and really need to go to bed. promise I’ll make an update about events after work.

Eraser, however, has been a busy little shit. no one emails him, so he has taken to replying to the spammers(you’d get a bit stircrazy too if you learned to use the internet and sleep for 20 hours a day)


From: service@paypal.com
To: eraserthecat@gmail.com
Date: Jan 22, 2006 11:26 AM
Subject: Unauthorized Access Report (KMM9755003V34721L0KM)

Dear PayPal customer,

We recently noticed one or more attempts to log in to your PayPal account
from a foreign IP address.

If you recently accessed your account while traveling, the unusual log in
attempts may have been initiated by you. However, if you did not initiate
the log ins, please visit PayPal as soon as possible to verify your
identity:


Verify your identity is a security measure that will ensure that you are
the only person with access to the account.

Thanks for your patience as we work together to protect your account.

Sincerely,
PayPal


((the context is kinda lost, but it’s essentially a phishing scam))


a web-reply(since Paypal dosen’t like to publish it’s address)

Hi.

I got this email a couple of days ago. While I am sure you run an excellent service, we have a problem. I’m not a member, and unless you begin accepting plastic bottle caps as currency, I doubt I ever will. why?

Because I am a Cat.

Seriously, let me know if you guys start taking bottle caps. I have a stash of them under my master’s(I use that term loosely, as us _Felis cattus_ are our OWN masters) basement Stairs and icebox. I’d love to unload them for some catnip. That shit’s great. Probably not so much for you humans, but I gotta tell ya, you haven’t flown unless you’ve done three rails of nip and pissed in your master’s shoes becuase you thought it was kinda funny. I should use that stuff more often, since I run my ass off when i’m high, and I’m getting kinda fat since I learned how to Surf the internet.

anyway, I hope we can resolve this in a professional manner. Meow.

Sincerely,
Erasmus F. Thecat, Esq.
Internet Lawyer and potential Mensa member



and another:

From:Credit Union Security Service (Ohhh, clever. sure you didn’t mean ncua.gov?)
Reply-To: support@cuna.org
To: eraserthecat@gmail.com
Date: Jan 25, 2006 12:25 PM
Subject: Update Your Account Information

In attention of all Credit Union customers,


screening the accounts in our system. We recently reviewed your account,
and we need more information to help us provide you with secure service.
Until we can collect this information, your access to sensitive account
features will be limited. We would like to restore your access as soon
as possible, and we apologize for the inconvenience.


Why is my account access limited?

Your account access has been limited for the following reason(s):
* We would like to ensure that your account was not accessed by an
unauthorized third party. Because protecting the security of your
account is our primary concern, we have limited access to sensitive
Credit Union account features. We understand that this may be an
inconvenience but please understand that this temporary limitation is
for your protection.

(Your case ID for this reason is PCU1-818-214-242146.)


At Credit Union, one of our most important responsibilities to you, our
customer, is the safekeeping of the nonpublic personal ("confidential")
information you have entrusted to us and using this information in a
responsible manner. Appropriate use of the confidential information you
provide us is also at the heart of our ability to provide you with
exceptional personal service whenever you contact us.


How can I restore my account access?


Please confirm your identity here: Restore My Online Banking and complete the "Steps to Remove Limitations."
(Link removed)
Completing all of the checklist items will automatically restore your
account access.


To: Credit Union

From: Erasmus Thecat
Greetings.


Here’s Some information for you to update with.

I’m a fucking cat.

Can i have access to my account now? I need to buy some prosthetic Balls to impress the local Alley Queans becuase my dumbfuck owner had me Neutered. and Claws. Genius seems to think that Excercising the ’ole claws on some furniture is tantamount to stealing in the Muslim world.

As you can See, I’m in a real Bind. please free up my account Soon. I tried submiting my pertinent information but your webserver seems to be down. I hope you Resolve this soon. and throw in some Nine Lives Food for the inconvenience you’ve caused me.


Sincerely,
Erasmus F. Thecat, Esq.
Internet Lawyer and Backup Keyboardist for Dream Theater




Livingdead

Man I sure do love them red haired girls
Im just like all the boys from Texas

And now for a Real update.


Yesterday, I was at work. A teacher from my alma mater comes in, looking for a movie for her kids. "One with either Reptiles or Amphibians. you got any of those?"

"Unless we have Any Nat Geo Movies, I don’t think so." I look to the manager, as she shakes her head no.

"How about this one? This Has a Huge Amphibian in it! and it’s Rated PG-13, so it can’t be too nasty for the kids, right?"

This is the movie she picked up for her class.

Does anyone see the problem here? Here, I’ll spell it out for you:



IT’S A FUCKING SHARK.


Now, I don’t really expect anyone, let alone a High school "Special Needs" Teacher, to know the difference between Osteichthyes and Chrondrichthyes, but as a teacher, I would hope that you’d know that Sharks are a Godamned Fish and not an Amphibian. Let me Reiterate that for you.

SHARKS ARE NOT FUCKING AMPHIBIANS!

I won’t even go into the whole "Shitty sci-fi movie as a legitimate teaching aid" angle that should be rather appearant. might as well teach them to be Ditchdiggers.

From now on, I’m just going to say that I graduated from a School in Southern Illinois and not specify which one.


In other news, there’s stuff going on, which I will talk about later tonight. I’m gonna go get some Radiata Stories time in. I got a backlog from the last couple of weeks, most of which is probably forgotten, but i’ll try my best to recreate the magic.

Livingdead


Let me see you
Stripped down to the bone
Let me hear you crying
Just for me

The post, written like over a week ago, where I was bitching about the loss of my title page:

Yeah, I know. I’m kinda sitting here going "WTF happened to my Page?" My Title is gone, having run off with my calender, and the formatting... Well, it makes me think I should put a picture of a Unicorn up. Thanks Bloghorn, You ruined my life! I’m going to start posting shitty poetry that I wrote as a teenager in a Place where i’m accepted - Like Livejournal. Or, better yet, I’ll put TEN THOUSAND STREAMING VIDEOS on my myspace page, be all Cool Hand Luke.

Gene Rayburn is from C-Town. I am offically creeped out and now have an irrational fear he will posess my body in oder to stage a game show comeback. Or, I will embark on an adventure that will involve the fate of the universe, S’mores, and a terror-inspiring fight against Gene rayburn, ressurrected as a cybernetic Zombie. Kill it dude... Kill it.

Seriously, WTF happened to my Page?

Livingdead
Darth Skanka of Boghorn


Amended post:

I’m an elitist jackass who is stuck in my ways and I’m sorry. thank you, Bloghorn, and I’m a moron because I don’t know your layout and quite honestly refused to learn it.

Now that I’ve been somewhat humbled by the powers that be, I’ll try to learn a thing or two so maybe my blog dosen’t suck so much and won’t Whine like a bitch next time something goes wrong.


Livingdead


Thank you for making me feel like I am guilty
Making it easy to murder your sweet memory

I’ve been up too damn long Penis Gourd work slow actually did stuff was supposed to Ill show you my hammer of justice want to play games but must sleep Goddamn you Gene Rayburn Never stand in the way of a fat man and a bowl of chicken and dumplins lives will be lost The Constant Gardner kicks ass Burn in hell Westboro Baptist Church You said you’d bake us a cake! okay goodbye


Livingdead


Lost inside the boundary

So I was going to bitch about how I’ve screwed up my sleep schedule and how I am just going to be a bushel of peaches today when I get off work at 5, but when I came back to my computer, I had an authorization note flashing me on my Q:

- Hi. Just wondering, why a guy like you does not like most beautiful women around the world - Russian ones? - Answer. Visit *someshitty website* to make sure :-) Have a nice day.


cXkodPp


Awesome. Just awesome. spam in my ICQ. Nevermind the fact i'm in invisible 99% of the time anyway.

I, being the natural jackass that I am, cannot let this go unanswered. I mean, this woman has cut through to the bone on me. she sees the real me, the shy introvert that is just yearning for affection from the opposite sex.



"well, the answer is kinda complicated, but it rest on three reasons:
I’m ugly as fuck, I’m poor as fuck, and I’m weird as fuck.

I’m pretty sure the "poor as fuck" is the only thing that interests you, since if i’m poor, then obivously I can’t buy myself a russian lady.


I guess I’ll just have to find my wife The old-fashioned way: roofie-coladas, knocking them up unsuspectingly, or church.

No, YOU have a nice day. "


What a perfect way to start off the day. no, really. this just invigorates me on a day where i’m going to be dealing with the public.


Why oh WHY can’t I ever get a random Message from, say, Leslie Rankine? Cherielynn Westrich? or Petra Haden?


Living "I just wanted to say ’Fuck’ one more time" Dead



I’d open my heart just to see what’s inside
A mountain of raw that’s too big to hide

Right. Been a while since I’ve updated. Sorry bout that.

Anywho, not a whole lot to say, really. Got some things cooking on the burner that just might get me off of bloghorn and on my own website, just gotta get a couple queries cleared, and we’ll see how that pans out.

New years was good, And i’ve been sucked into the vortex of Diablo 2 yet again. that, and I got ahold of Resident Evil 4 again. I’d play it, but I’m a scared little bitch and won’t play the game late at night because it creeps the fuck out of me.

I got an email in my spam account(thanks, Yahoo!) not too long ago. normally, I dump ths shit like everyone else does, except for one particular type of spam - the advance fee fraud. I’ve talked about this stuff back on the old blog before. Here’s the email(in all caps and shittily formatted, for the sake of the hearing impaired, i’m sure):


DEAR DAME,

I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE EMBARRASEMENT THIS MAIL MIGHT CAUSE YOU,AS WE
HAVE NOT MET BEFORE. I AM BARRISTER FRANK IDEH,A SOLICITOR AT LAW. I AM THE
PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO LATE ENGINEER PAUL DAME,WHO USED TO WORK WITH
SHELL OIL COMPANY HERE IN NIGERIA.

HEREIN AFTER SHALL BE REFFERED TO AS MY CLIENT.ON THE THE 21ST OF
AUGUST 2002,MY CLIENT, HIS WIFE AND THEIR CHILDREN WERE INVOLVED IN A CAR
ACCIDENT ON THEIR WAY RETURNING FROM THE BEACH.ALL OCCUPANT OF THE VEHICLE
UNFORTUNIATELY LOST THEIR LIVES.SINCE THEN,I HAVE MADE SEVERAL
ENQUIRIES TO LOCATE ANY OF MY CLIENT’S EXTENDED RELATIVES BUT THIS HAS PROVEN
UNSUCCESSFUL.I CAME ACROSS YOUR NAME AND CONTACT WHEN I WAS SEARCHING
FOR MR. DAME’S RELATION,BUT MY SEARCH WAS UNSUCCESSFUL.SO,I CONTACTED YOU
FOR THIS PROJECT. I AM CONTACTING YOU TO ASSIST IN REPATRIATING THE MONEY
AND PROPERTIES LEFT BEHIND BY MY CLIENT BEFORE THEY GET CONFISCATED OR
DECLARED UNSERVICEABLE BY THE FINANCE COMPANY,WHERE THESE FUNDS WERE DEPOSITED.

PARTICULARLY,THE BANK WERE THE DECEASED HAS AN ACCOUNT VALUED USD$9.8
MILLION DOLLARS,LAST YEAR ISSUED ME 12 MONTHS NOTICE TO PROVIDE THE
NEXT OF KIN OR HAVE THE MONEY CONFISCATED,AND THIS ALTIMATUM EXPIRES BY THE
NEXT MONTH.

SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN LOCATING THE RELATIVES FOR OVER TWO
YEARS NOW, I SEEK YOUR CONSENT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OF THE
DECEASED SINCE YOU HAVE THE SAME NAME,SO THAT THE PROCEED OF THIS DEPOSITE
VALUED AT USD$9.8 MILLION DOLLARS CAN BE RELEASED TO YOU AND THEN YOU AND I CAN
SHARE THE MONEY.50% FOR ME 45% FOR YOU AND THE REMAINING 5% WILL BE FOR THE
EXPENSES AND TAX.

HE MADE THE MONEY IN ONE OF THE OIL DEALS HE HAD WITH OUR OIL
MINISTER.ALL I REQUIRE IS YOUR HONEST CO-OPERATION TO ENABLE US SEE THIS BUSINESS
THROUGH.

I GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT
THAT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW.IT IS 100% RISK FREE.

PLEASE FORWARD TO ME THESE INFORMATION:

1.YOUR FULL NAMES AND CONTACT ADDRESS.
2.AGE AND OCCUPATION
3.TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION

AS SOON AS I RECIEVE THESE INFORMATIONS, I WILL INFORM YOU THE NEXT
STEP.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.


YOUR FAITHFULLY.
BARRISTER FRANK IDEH


Now, normally, I get a chuckle and save them for later reading when I actually do go through my yahoo account, which is about once a month.

but Boredom can be a very naughty mistress, and We Had a hell of a time tonight.


Date: Mon, 9 Jan 2006 02:59:46 -0600
From: "Erasmus Thecat"
To: frankideh_9@msn.com
Subject: NOTICE OF RECIEPT

Mr. IDEH,

My name is Erasmus Thecat, Attorney and Legal Guardian of a Mr. Dame,
whom you contacted recently concerning the death of his relative,
Paul.

My client was in an accident himself himself back in 2004. Remarkably
he survived, but not without sustaining major brain injury after
laying catatonic for six months. the injuries sustained left him
invalid, and I took him as my legal ward as a posthumous favor to his
parents. It is fortunate that his parents, who died when he turned
19, left him with a fortune that he did not spend gratitutiously, and
as such, has been placed within good care. Mr. Dame’s funds, while
certainly considerable, are sure not to last forever. So it is
fortunate that you did contact my client.

However, my ward would be outraged if he were to know that you intend
to take 50 percent of what is his LEGAL inheritance. In fact, I am
appalled for him that you would seek to "share" what is rightfully his.
I will not pretend to know Nigerian inheiritance laws, but I can
assure you that I will be seeking injunctions on behalf of my charge
of this financial company that seeks to confiscate this inheiritance,
as well if you intend to take more than 20 percent, less fees and
taxes comeing out of your percentage.

Being an attorney yourself, you can see that I am acting in the best
interest of my Retarded charge, and I will continue to do so. As
such, any further correspondance with my client should be done through
me at this email address, and once more favorable terms have been
worked out, We can begin the process.

Your Expedient Reply is requested regarding this legal matter.


Sincerely,



Erasmus F. Thecat, Esq.
Legal Guardian



And there ya go. an update for the masses. And yes, The addess and email is real.


Livingdead



Make it like a godsend
Feeling like a has-been