Earth Day is upon us, and some of you may not be aware that this ode to environmentalism is officially "Over the hill" this year. make sure you are up to speed with what you can do to help out Mother Earth this year. Here, i wrote a list, not influenced at all by Alcohol WHATSOEVER.


Awesoem ways to celebrate Earth day 40. By Livingdead, a true American.


Dispose of waste properly... out the car window.

chop down a tree

Huff xylene and then dump it in a creek

Dynamite fishing

Eat a bunch of hamburgers, like 60 of them

Throw away 57 hamburgers after a couple of bites

Shoot deer, take antlers, leave the corpse to rot

Smoke an Asbestos Joint (woohoo 4/20+2! Duuuude.)

Make a hairspray blowtorch

Burn a bunch of foam cups with your awesome hairspray blowtorch

Make a Slayer/Tupac Mashup CD, play it at full volume and hope the resonance kills some bacteria or something

Wrestling contest/Wet t-shirt party with 10 W40

Light a candle and read with it. get pissed off, and turn on every light in the house

Flush your toilet every 30 mintues

Buy a SUV and run over a bunch of CFL bulbs on the beach

Attach a Buick v8 engine to a chainsaw, rename it Fucksaw. (thanks cracked!)

Make a "HAPPY EARTH DAY TWO THOUSAND AND TEN" poster, using one piece of bleached white paper for every letter

Send some old electronics to a third world country

Buy a pint of Zebra Mussels and chuck them into your river

Spray for honey Bees

Make a Coffee Mug out of Depleted Uranium and give it to a friend

Turn your Heater to 88(FUCK YEAH SOME RACE DRIVER WHOOO), or your AC to 55(WHOOO SOME OTHER RACE DRIVER WHOO TOBY KIETH!)

and most importantly, remember: Holidays are about forcing everyone to do the same thing. Make sure you do your part.